It’s no secret.
I’m single. Way single. (Pause with blank stare.) No, really. I’m single.
And I’m with you. What man in his right mind would pass up a chance at this non-cooking, don’t-clean-unless-Mother’s-coming-over, will-go-into-hock-for-heels, has-actually-cursed-in-the-church-parking-lot hot mess?
You’d be surprised.
Anyway. I ran across this little article online. I mostly read just what was in bold. I’m a busy girl…not much time for the small stuff. (Hence, why some men in my past didn’t make the cut.)
Let a sister, albeit a single sister, break this down for you.
1. “Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.”
Hmph. Maybe that’s it. I just would really like to meet one without Justin Bieber’s bangs or one with children younger than me. Never thought of that as trying too hard.
2. “Wear more makeup.”
Seriously? So, all those men who have said they hate lipstick on wine glasses and smudges on their white shirts were lying? Bastards. I knew it.
3. “Get back out there!”
4. “You’re too picky.”
Maybe. However, while men with summer teeth (you know…some are there, some are not) are great, I’m sure…I’m gonna hold out and shoot just a little higher. I’d like to find dental floss in his medicine cabinet when I’m snooping around in there.
5. “Tone it down a notch.”
This just sounds way too much like Mother and crap she spewed at me when I was younger in that…that…voice. I don’t even know what this means.
There you have it. I’ve heard every last one of these statements over and over and over again. I’m always open to suggestions (not really), but for the love of God, please know what you’re talking about.
I’ll just keep wishin’. And hopin’. And thinkin’. And prayin.