Everything old is new again. Well, not really but kinda.

October 15, 2011 in Crap I Was Considerate Enough to Not Bother You with Before Now.

My place and my face is all new again.

Kinda.

First with my place.

New wood floors in kitchen and bath.  Now, that is a treat to forget about but then remember when the stench of floor glue hits you in the face when you get home at 5:00.

I guess when the floor dudes were doing their thing, they thought it’d be cute to leave me a tip.

 

Imagine that phone call to the leasing manager.

Me:  “Uh, yeah..hey Michelle.  Mark it in my file that I did not glue a dime to my kitchen sink when my floors were re-done.”

Her:  “I sure will.  And while I have you on the phone, your kid scared the carpet cleaning crew.”

Brilliant.

I don’t have a kid.

Which brings me to, the carpet was cleaned the next day.  Totally blew out the ass smell the floor glue left.

And here’s “my kid” that scared the carpet cleaning crew:

I know. Bad parent.  Turn me in.

In an effort to help the carpet cleaning crew, I thought I’d move all the chairs to floor areas and crap what-not’s I have on the carpet to a safer, higher place so they wouldn’t have to do it.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I know most use their kids as snack-bringerers, phone answerers, remote controls, etc.  But I use mine as home decor.

That’s where he usually is.  Not crawling all around on my table like a heathen.

So, my place is pretty rockin’ right now.  It pretty much was before, too…but now it’s really rockin’.

I love my place.  If you don’t love your place…find one you do.  But don’t come to mine.  It’s taken.

And now on to my face.

Being an old hairstylist…I’m pretty ridiculous about the upkeep of my exterior goods.  The girl who takes care of all that beauty stuff gets way too much money from me.  Way.

Shayda and I have a love/hate relationship.  Well, it’s more her.  She’s from some far off land that I can’t ever remember the name of and has a thick accent.  Unlike mine.

During our one-hour haircut sessions, I dictate every hair that is to be trimmed and exactly how much.  (See why she hates me?)  Not less than 3 times am I told, “You sit there and be quiet…I know what I do.”

And she does.  There are no less than 7 people that go to her because of me and smart sister.  And keep going back.

Now, here is where the love/hate part comes in.

It was time for my dreaded face threading.

Look it up.  No pictures of that to come.  Unless I go when smart sister gets hers done…then I’ll put up plenty.

Sheer hell and I swear I see Satan during this time.  I hate it.  Shayda LOVES that I HATE it.

The closest thing I can compare it to is if you just go stick your face in a bed of fire ants.  And stay there for a while.  I don’t know how long…I come in and out of consciousness.

The results are phenomenal.  I love it.  And I always go back.

(Why do I do it?  Good question.  I guess so I can continue to not find a rich man with a bad heart.  Plus, I’m a freak about having a flawless face.   So shoot me.  Just not in the face.)

And Shayda always hugs me and tells me she loves me when I leave.  And I love her.  And it’s genuine.

And that’s about it.

I finished up this morning with my regular weekend jaunt (I don’t even know what that word means, it just sounded usable here) to the grocery store only to wonder how I can go through the “15 Items or Less” line and spend $53.13.

Oh, and this kid kept staring at me.  Teenage kind of kid.  Always a puzzled look when I passed him and his mom in the aisles.

When I got in the car…it hit me.  I think this is why:

And there you have it.  An overdose of me that I was considerate enough not to throw on you this week.

I hope your week was as odd and as funky as mine.  That’s what makes life fun.  So tell me about it.  Comment your ass off because I love knowing I ain’t alone on this stuff.

God knows if I didn’t have weeks like this, I’d have to find something else to bother you with.  So bother me back.

I love that ya’ll “get me.”  Thank you for that.

 

I’m sharing my awesome with Momma Made It Look Easy…visit Jennifer’s site.  You’ll love her!

Katherine Brown October 15, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Where the f do I get that shirt? I have to have that shirt.

Carrie October 15, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Had it for years. It’s pretty cheesy. But I love it.

Dena October 15, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Curiosity got the best of me so I googled “threading”… now smarter am I 😉

Here was a link from a blog from someone that used to go to a salon but now does it herself… http://www.facialhairthreading.com/ what do you think?

Maybe the glued dime is a sign that money will be coming in the door and sticking to your bank account but not going down your sink drain 😉 just a random thought…

Hugs, dj

Carrie October 15, 2011 at 4:31 pm

That threader might possibly work…but God only knows what I’d come out looking like. Plus, Shayda will curse me in her home language if I get off schedule.

And I DO like the money thought. I’m going with that! I’m gonna close up the drain just to be on the safe side. =)

D'Anna Lundstrom October 15, 2011 at 4:24 pm

OMG, that shirt…you have some guts girl! I am cracking up at this. Hum…a kid that doesn’t talk back, only listens. Doesn’t get sick, pee, puke or poop, and you can just throw it in any old corner and it stays until you move it. You may be onto something-:)

Carrie October 15, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Uh, huh. Just keeps his mouth shut and his ass out of trouble.

Must not be my kid after all.

Lisa Guedry October 15, 2011 at 4:32 pm

I’m such a dork I asked Lee, “what does M.Y.O.F.B. mean?”….and before he could answer I got it! I need to get out of the house more! I LOVE THE HELL OUTTA YOU!

Carrie October 15, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I’m telling you…it’s nice to just be able to point at the shirt sometimes and say, “Take a hint, fool.”

I’d wear it every day if I could. However, it kinda looks like I do.

I’ll never part with it. Never.

Dena October 15, 2011 at 6:38 pm

for your friends that feel creative enough to make their own shirts, they can do it with bling and their own shirt style on this site… http://www.customizedgirl.com/designs/category/Rhinestones&toppage=top21&separate=1?gclid=CIbkyoTt66sCFRFR7AodKQMsIw

of course it wouldn’t have the stories to tell that yours does in the beginning but within a short time… ya’ll could start a secret society 😉

Carrie October 15, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Now, how cool is THAT?!?

I’m sure it wouldn’t take long to get some stories started!

Debbie October 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm

OMG Carrie I had the threading done a couple of months ago, brows and below the nose <( It hurt like hell, but was a lot cleaner then the waxing You go girl!

Carrie October 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Fire ants. Totally fire ants. But after doing the threading, I can’t believe I ever let someone wipe hot wax on my skin and rip it off.

I do my whole face (just the threading….never did my whole face with waxing). But honestly, it’s not near as bad as it was the first time…it gets less painful each sitting. And Shayda tells me after 1-2 more times, the sittings will be months apart.

Which I am totally looking forward to.

Jennifer October 15, 2011 at 8:49 pm

I love the part where you write that you don’t have an accent. Girl your accent is as thick as mine.
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Carrie October 15, 2011 at 8:54 pm

You must be thinking about when I use my British accent.

=)

Karyn October 15, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Love the floors, you are lucky, your house rocks.

The dime is weird, OK that they left it there for you, perhaps they found it when doing the floors, but why stick it there? Odd. I love your ‘kid’. I used to have one of them years ago and it was always a fun discussion point. Now I have the real thing and he’s not so much of a fun discussion point. I can picture some workmen being freaked out by the thing…

As for the threading, is it like eyebrow threading they do in India? I used to get my eyebrows threaded by an Indian lady that did an awesome job and I loved the look, but it did hurt like hell. I cant imagine it being over my whole face…

I always look forward to what goes on in your week, it provides total entertainment for me! (and yes, BTW we are scarily alike!) The tee is AWESOME, that kid was thinking you were their new hero “oh look an adult over 30 who rocks a cool tee! She’s my new hero..”
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Carrie October 15, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Yep, that’s the threading. She told me she learned it in her country before coming to the states. I’ve seen people having it done in the mall, but I’m afraid they’d have to call security on me. Cursing out loud at random moments isn’t a good look. Especially with children around.

That poor teen was probably thinking, “Creepy lady alert! Creepy lady alert!” I kinda glared a couple of times at him.

Yes, I’m tough.

ALLISON October 15, 2011 at 10:52 pm

I LOVE threading!! Hurts like hell, but works better than anything! Those south Asians know whats up..

Carrie October 15, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Like I said…I swear I’ve seen Satan during the process. But again, my consciousness comes and goes, too.

And Shayda giggles the whole time saying, “Look at this crap coming off you face! You should be ‘shamed.”

In her choppy little cute accent.

Blythe October 17, 2011 at 11:06 am

I hate getting my face threaded! It freakin’ hurts.

mark @ yelling near you October 18, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I can’t believe the floor installers glued a dime to your sink. That’s crazy. Classic that your “kid” scared the carpet cleaning crew.
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Carrie October 18, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Welcome to my world. When crap like this doesn’t even make me blink, well…I’m just glad phones now take pics.

Traci October 25, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Carrie, that is sooo funny about “your kid”!!! I remember Aunt Peggy having them in her house and they look SO real :)

Carrie October 25, 2011 at 6:55 pm

HAHAHA!!! I know…they used to kinda scare me. Now look at me with my own.

Don’t say it. I’m as much like my momma as you are YOURS!

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