I hear pimpin’ ain’t easy. Well, neither is kickball.

October 20, 2011 in Me and My Public Self,Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

I have never been known to half-ass do anything.

Half-ass [haf as] – (adj). Something incomplete or downright lame, disappointing in its partial quality.

Except maybe shave my legs.  Most of the time.  Sometimes.

Anyway.  That’s what Urban Dictionary says is half-ass.  The definition, not my leg shaving abilities.

The work joint has put together a charity kickball tournament this weekend and yours truly decided to step up to the plate (Get it?  Yeah, I know…corny.) and form a kickball team.

I haven’t seen, much less kicked a kickball since 8th grade.

Let me break it down for you:  This shit is hard.

Nevertheless, the other 5 teams don’t need to know that.  I almost have them convinced I received a kickball scholarship.  And I don’t even know if there IS such a thing.  And they obviously don’t either.

We can have between 10 and 16 players on a team.

I have 16.  You know it.

We decided we had to have a catchy name.

We have it.  You know it.

We decided we weren’t gonna just show up in a t-shirt and shorts like everybody else at 7:30 on a Saturday morning.  Heaven forbid we (I) be average.  (“Don’t be acting all average” – I forget what number cardinal sin that is but it’s way up there of the Redhead Handbook.  Like in the top 4 or something.)

We’ve practiced.  I’ve caught my fair share of fly balls and now my arm hurts.  I’ve kicked my fair share of base runs and now my leg hurts.

And I’ve discovered I’m competitive as hell.

Meaning, I flashed one of my own team mates at practice so I could get to the next base.  It just happened before I knew it.  And before he knew it.

But I got on base.  Safe.

I’ve pulled my gear together tonight because well, come Saturday morning when it’s kinda cold and I’m kinda tired (and probably kinda bitchy), I’m gonna want to know who’s lame idea this was.

So, here’s my t-shirt and everything I’m showing up in.

Team Motto: It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, it's how you look playin' the game.

If you read it “Kickin’ it with my Pitches,” then you read it right.  That’s our team name.

If you see a big pimpin’ hat, ghetto-fabulous glasses and a boa…you’d be lookin’ right.  That’s our team uniform.

The only thing not in the picture is my tooth black-out stuff.

Cause most all the pimps I know have a tooth or two out.

(And well, I couldn’t find a gold tooth so the black-out is gonna have to do.)

The other teams won’t know what hit’em when they get a load of us.  Grillz, top hats, feather boas, the whole ghetto gamut.

All 16 of us.

We ain’t half-assin’ it.  Cause that’s how we roll.

For reelz.

Breane Dooley October 20, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Where are you all playing at and what time? I may show up…. if I don’t have plans. 🙂

Carrie October 20, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Somewhere in south Austin. Way south. Like airport way south.

We start at 9:00. I have the info stuff on my desk…I’ll send it to you.

Kelly October 20, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Have a BALL!

Carrie October 21, 2011 at 5:53 am

Oh, I’m sure I’ll have 4 balls which totally equal an out.

Tricky October 20, 2011 at 11:06 pm

One rule: Pimp big or go home.

Carrie October 21, 2011 at 5:54 am

Preach it, brother.

Karyn October 20, 2011 at 11:38 pm

OMG I LOVE you! I cannot wait, literally cannot wait, for the photos. Ill be checking your blog every 10 minutes until I see them. Have a great time, and have I mentioned I LOVE YOU??!
Karyn recently posted..Ode To My Husband (The Only Man In The World Who Would Have Me)My Profile

Carrie October 21, 2011 at 5:57 am

HA!!! Since you’re way over there, you’re safe. Otherwise, you and your hottie would be ghettoing it up with us!

Some of the team members are spouse/boyfriends of some of the girls I work with. I figured they’d totally pull out of the game once they heard of the “dress code”. Nope. I’m hearing story of Flava Flav big gold clock chains being bought and gold grillz.

Our team is the bomb.

Jennifer October 21, 2011 at 11:17 am

None of this surprises me in the least. Except maybe the part about you playing kickball. All of the rest? I can totally picture.

Jennifer recently posted..Share Your AwesomeMy Profile

Carrie October 21, 2011 at 11:40 am

You know me way too well. The actually getting out of bed to kick a little ball around on a SATURDAY morning is the shocking part for me, too.

But the talking crap and keeping these guys at the work joint snarling is totally making it so worth it!

mark @ yelling near you October 21, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Sheer Awesome! If your team doesn’t sweep the tournament I’ll be surprised.
mark @ yelling near you recently posted..The Dishwasher WarsMy Profile

Carrie October 21, 2011 at 12:56 pm

We JUST all had a meeting to finalize times and stuff for the games tomorrow. The competition is on. In FULL force.

We’re freaking awesome. One of the girls is wearing thigh highs with her shorts, several have boas, lots of hats, lots of gold chains….just complete and total ghetto. Even the guys are getting into it!

We’re on it.

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