Me, Old People, Lou Rawls and a dog I will eventually kill.

October 1, 2011 in Me and My Public Self

I discovered this morning around 5:17 a.m., it’s not that I don’t like getting up early on a Saturday, it’s that I don’t like getting dressed.

And then at 6:42 a.m., I discovered the smart sister was awake.

Phone rings.

Me:  “Oh, my God!!  HELLO?”

Her:  “I know you’re up.  You just ‘liked’ a status update on Facebook.”

Me:  “Are you kidding me?  So you call??”

What is she?  The damn family stalker?

Conversation was had.  Mostly by her.  I just occasionally grunted in agreement to whatever she was rattling about.

(Hang on.  I’m gonna go kill the neighbors dog real quick.  It has a bark that isn’t rhythmic and well…it’s just got to go.  Unless the neighbor is out there, then they’re about to meet their maker.  I’ll be right back.)

(I’m back.  I don’t really hate this dog.  Yes, I do.  It’s just that the idiot owner comes behind MY balcony and throws the ball the dog chases and non-rhythmically barks at.  I’m sure it won’t happen much anymore though.  They saw me glaring at’em when I was just taking this picture and probably think I’m some creepy neighbor that’s gonna complain about their yappy ass dog.  Which I sho’ don’t mind doing, if necessary.)

Anyway.  Back to this morning.

I got up and got dressed.  Loathe.

Mom and Dad’s neighborhood was having a big ol’giant old people garage sale, so I headed that way.  And yes, smart sister met me out there.  I mean, why not?  SHE WAS UP, RIGHT?

Here’s proof of the garage sale and that I ain’t lying:

Uh, huh.  Lou Rawls.  Vinyl.

“You’ll never find, as long as you live
Someone who loves you tender, like I do.
You’ll never find, no matter where you search
Someone who cares about you, the way I do.

Whoa, I’m not braggin’ on myself, baby
But I’m the one who loves you
And there’s no one else, no-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh one else”

Now.  Trust me.  I was there.  In a sea of geriatrics.

We’re at this big garage sale, walking around, dodging old men, the weather is fabulous and all of a sudden…Dancing Queen is blaring.

The song.  Dancing Queen.  Blaring.  Loud.

And lo and behold, her our mother is involved in some flash mob thing going on.

I started to pray to die, but then pulled back on that one.  I realized I didn’t really know anyone out there but smart sister and Dad, so…HE could be embarrassed because HE knows EVERYBODY out there.

Lucky you, Dad.

She told me afterwards during the flash dance or whatever it is, she felt a gust of air.

Yep.  Her damn tube top under her long-sleeve shirt just rolled on down.  Exposing her red bra.

(Red?  Really mom?  Can you for once act your age and maybe wear a white Cross Your Heart or something?)

I was elated she even had one on.

Here’s the whole group of  Dancing QUEEN dancers:

Yes.  That’s a dude.  With boobs.  I know.  But do you see the tiara??  That’s what I’M talking about!

The smart sister and I mosey around for a few hours checking out lots of stuff and meeting some really fabulous people…really.  All in all, it was a fun morning.

So, I left.

Next thing I know, I’m buying two bottles of wine.  At the local winery.  If you’re ever in Georgetown, Texas…don’t leave till you go by the Georgetown Winery.  And tell Becca her hair looks amazing.  Cause it does.

Way better than it did.

But do NOT tell her THAT part.

They have great little items besides wine.  Fun stuff.

And I found this little gem while I was shopping around:

(And it’s gonna take a WHOLE lotta drinkin’ to make that a cute boobed-dude Dancing Queen in the earlier picture.)

I’m about to head out because I want to buy that new Tony Bennett CD “Duets:  An American Classic.”  I’ve got a little shopping to do.

Wait.

Oh, hell.

Isn’t Tony Bennett pretty geriatricky?

I think I’m seeing a theme here for my day.

 

UPDATE – 10/02/2011 – MORE THAN 24 HOURS LATER:  I have not seen nor heard a non-rhythmic peep from that yappy ass dog.  I guess we know whose bark is bigger now.  Or at least whose has rhythm.  Uh, huh…

Breane Dooley October 1, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I was honestly just praying that man wasn’t your dad. lol

Carrie October 1, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Oh, no. Not my Dad. No way. No how.

shan cook October 1, 2011 at 3:58 pm

omg carrie… i just laughed til i almost fell off my barstool!! you’re awesome! xoxo

Carrie October 1, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Girlfriend…it’s ALL true. My life is a constant flow of, well….this.

So glad you enjoyed it though…it makes me all shiny feeling inside! =)

Peggy Sterling Scarborough October 1, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Daughter,

I know you are looking forward to retirement one day.
After retirement, we all hang loose and you will, too!

As always,
Rowdy

Carrie October 1, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Mom…you know more than anyone, I usually hang too damn loose. I think that’s where you get it from.

=)

Jennifer October 1, 2011 at 7:03 pm

I have no words for how much I love that your mother was in a flash mob.
Jennifer recently posted..Share Your Awesome, Staying AfloatMy Profile

Carrie October 1, 2011 at 9:18 pm

It was really good…I kept wanting to scream out “take it off, tale it off!” but I know her too well. She probably would have.

Karyn Pyle October 1, 2011 at 7:41 pm

I agree with Jennifer. How awesome that your mother KNOWS what a flash mob is – and then to be IN one? Spectacular. Does she do these things to help you out with writing material? If so, I need to get on my parents, they’re not doing their job to help their little precious with her material. My Saturday was spent in bed on my laptop – way less interesting than yours, but when you read about my Friday night (which you will, when its up) you’ll understand why. Great post.
Karyn Pyle recently posted..New Years Resolution – Starting In OctoberMy Profile

Carrie October 1, 2011 at 9:21 pm

I owe just about everything to my family. We are a riot…it is never dull. I give my mom a hard time on my postings, but she’s the bomb. Way younger than I’ll ever be. And its her humor that totally allows it.

I owe everything I write and every chuckle a reader might have…to them.

Can’t wait to hear about your Friday night!!

Susan Euresti October 1, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Really an old people’s garage sale????? As one of the dancing queens, we are glad you got to join us today! Your Mom is terrific!

Carrie October 1, 2011 at 9:17 pm

I gotta admit…ya’ll were pretty hip with the moves! And don’t worry, I do know “old” is the new fab…=)

Jennie Jackson October 3, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Sounds like a great morning–except for the waking up early part!
Jennie Jackson recently posted..Dog WalkMy Profile

Carrie October 3, 2011 at 7:13 pm

I gotta admit…it absolutely was! Met some really great people and saw some really great bargains…and I sure can’t complain about that!

And thank you for stopping by here! =)

Sandy Nesom October 6, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Gosh Carrie… when is your book coming out!!! You ROCK this stuff!!!

Carrie October 7, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Aww, girl that’d be a dream for me! Thank you…but it’s about baby steps, and I am really loving this blog stuff more than I really thought! But thank you from the bottm of my heart!!

Jennifer November 4, 2011 at 6:26 am

Hilariously awesome. All of it- even then non-rhythmic yapping dog.
Jennifer recently posted..Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop- FAQ’sMy Profile

Carrie November 4, 2011 at 8:04 am

Thanks, girl! And all of it is hilariously true.

Even that damn dog. Which I gotta say, ain’t so hilarious.
Carrie recently posted..People are good to me and today I have the perfect example. My Profile

Kristen November 4, 2011 at 12:53 pm

I had to cross my legs while reading this! It was hysterical. I love that your sister knew you were up by Facebook! It killed me…I get the same thing from friends!
I think it is AWESOME that your mom got out there and got her groove on with a red bra at that. Sounds like your family can have fun even at old geezer’s garage sale. Oh wait, they did!!
Kristen recently posted..Rude or Acceptable?My Profile

Carrie November 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Sad we keep up with each other by Facebook, huh? And yeah, OK, pretty funny, too.

We did have a great time at the garage sale. One sweet little lady asked, “Honey, anything you’re looking for in particular or is there something I can help you find?”

My reply? “Well, a rich man with a bad heart would be nice.”

She hugged me. =)

Joan @chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate November 5, 2011 at 11:54 am

Oh Carrie, you are so awesome, you even make a garage sale fun! Love it!

Oh and the neighbor? and the yappy dog? good for you! Totally right move, although if it happens again, you might want to borrow a shotgun (if you don’t have one of your own) and just be “cleaning it” next time it happens, out on your balcony.

Hugs!
Joan @chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate recently posted..Homemade CaramelsMy Profile

Carrie November 5, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Don’t I know it.

They either moved or someone nabbed that yapper. Ain’t heard him in a while.

THANK GOD.

kk January 4, 2012 at 9:40 pm

OK, so I’ve started from the beginning of “your” time. All I want to say at this point is…I’m all by myself…and LMAO!! Y’all are one crazy, awesome family.
Since that wasn’t your Daddy in the pic…I’ll go ahead and just put it out there…I thought, DAMN (!!!!!!!!), he’s hung…then I realized it was his knee (I think…)(if not, I want to meet his son…just sayin’).
When I started reading Sept 2011, I told myself I would only read the one month of posts…now I’m into October and will MAKE myself stop there so I will have something to look forward to!!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: