Saving crap can almost get you killed.

October 31, 2011 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

I’m not a pack-rat.  I swear.

After my divorce, I got rid of about 350 lbs.

225 lbs. of that was loser.  The rest was crap.  And I promised myself I’d stay as crap-free as I could.  For as long as I could.

And for the most part, I have.

But I do like to keep little mementos.

Cards.  Little gifts.  Reminders of fun stuff.  Things like that.

Fast forward about 10 minutes.

Here’s my computer area at my place:

No clue why it's so dark. No, I don't sit in the dark. And disregard that Whataburger cup. I like their ice water. Not as much as Sonic's, but they were closer.

Now, go take that 10 minutes back.

So, I’m sitting here after a long day of Halloween stuff at the office and I hear something.  TV is on, so I just keep pecking away on the keyboard.

I hear it again. A scratchy, little something-is-in-the-vicinity-of-your-head-but-you-can’t-see-it kind of sound.

I have a gargantuan fear of something flying at my head, or slithering down the wall.  Neither of which has ever happened.  But they could.

(Once when I was like 19 and living on my own, I had to call my uncle to come get a big night moth off the ceiling of my apartment.  See?  This fear goes way back.  I was  hot enough to go out dancing till 2:30 am, but not awesome enough to get a huge-ass night moth off my ceiling.  Imagine that.)

I mute the TV.  Go back to pecking.  But yet, listening.

Son of a gun…there it is again.  I freeze.  Hell, time freezes.

I look under the desk, along the baseboards, up to the ceiling…nothing.

Then something flutters RIGHT.  BY.  MY.  BIG.  HEAD.

I immediately start flapping and slapping at the sides my head.

I know.  I don’t get me either.  It’s just what I did, OK?  Back off.

I can see it from the upper right…no, upper left corner of my eye or my peripheral stuff (whatever it’s called), but can’t react quick enough.

In slow motion…I dive.  Off the chair, into the kitchen.  All I know is there is something fluttering at me and I’m alone.

In fast prayer-mode, I pray it’s not like a bat.  Or a crow.  Or something that big that got in somehow.

It lands.

I am pretty relieved and ticked at the same time.

Again, lighting sucks. But you can clearly see this is not a bat. Or a crow.

That damn kickball shirt decal from that damn kickball game two weeks ago…fell off the wall.

(Thank you, Sweet Jesus.  It wasn’t a bat.  Or a crow.)

I don’t iron much.  (Actually, not at all.  Actually, I don’t own an iron.  Actually, don’t judge.)  So my decal didn’t stay stuck on my shirt.  I had to use boxing tape to keep it on my shirt.

I know.  Ghetto.

Anyway, after the game, I peeled it off the shirt and thought:

“Hmmph.  I think I’ll just keep this as a little memento of the fun I had.  And I think I’ll stick it right up there so I can glance up ever so often and remember how I jacked up something in my right thigh muscle area had such a great time.”

Let there be light...

And I don’t know why I felt it necessary to tell you about this.  I just did.  Because I know I can NOT be the only one who lives this grand of a life.

But I did stick it right back up from where it fluttered.  Because it’s who I am.  It’s what I do.  It’s how I roll.

All scared and all.

Now.  Halloween is on AMC tonight.  I think that’s the channel.  The original.  And I love me some Michael Myers.

My DVR started up about 39 minutes ago.

So, go.  Watch it, too.  And be scared with me.

Michael Myers, I can handle.

A wanna-be bat or crow taped on my wall…not so much.

Lisa Guedry October 31, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Girl a june bug or a big flying tree roach will make me lose my ever lovin MIND!!! When I used to wear a big curly perm back in the 80’s a june bug flew INTO MY HAIR while I was driving my car!!!!! It was just like on the movie Vacation when they realize Aunt Edna’s dead and they slam on the breaks and the car skids into park and they all fly out….yep that was me but I’m not even sure I put the car in park!!!!! I screamed, danced around, and peed all at once until it got out of my hair!!!

tricky October 31, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Nothing like getting in to the spirit of Halloween like spooking yourself.

Definitely not a fan of the flying insets either. Worse experience involved a bee hiding up my nose. Not going to get into details, but wiggins return around the bees. And wasps. And a few others…

Carrie November 1, 2011 at 5:24 am

Dude….I am so right there with you! And there’s a story of bees and wasp when my family was moving to a new house. I was about…I don’t know, maybe 5? We were in the van (cause we did it ourselves back in the day) and there was a wasp hovering.

Doors flew open while van was still rolling down the street with a little redhead squealing up a neighbors driving. My poor Dad had to literally put on the brakes so he could get out to go find me.

Not much has changed over the years.

Carrie November 2, 2011 at 11:01 am

YES! Right there with you! I get that. It was kinda the same here.

Aunt Edna. HA! Loved that movie!

Hollie Pattarozzi October 31, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Oh. My. God. This was making me cackle like an idiot! Ok – the 350lbs – 250 of it was loser the rest was crap made me nearly see the light! But it made me recall once when I had “great faith” and was praying – Girl, I felt the spirit! I was about to cast a demon outta my lap shade I felt such faith! Then…suddenly…I opened my eyes and here comes a flying wood roach like the dragonfly in the
Older movie The Rescuers with the mouse? You know that one? Mrrrrrrrroooooooommmmm! (That’s the sound forever in my bran! ) That thing flew at me! “In the name of Jesus!” One second…the next? A high pitched squeal of “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!” And scared TO DEATH!!!!! Yeah, I pray w/one eye open now.

Carrie November 1, 2011 at 5:17 am

HAHA!! I have to tell you. One thing I DO NOT miss about living in SE Texas are those big wood roaches. Hell, it kills me to even type those words together.

Here in ATX, we have scorpions. Yeah, I know. Not much better. But I haven’t seen any that fly. Yet. Actually, I’ve only seen 2 in my 7 years of being up here. But that is 2 too many.

Hell, back home…you’d see 2 wood roaches in like 12 minutes. So maybe my odds are a little better here.

Jennifer November 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Scorpions can kiss my… well you know.
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mark @ yelling near you October 31, 2011 at 11:53 pm

Ha! Nice. And I’m going to note the great card you’ve got standing below the iron on: “Happiness is like peeing in your pants.” Fine collection of mementos you have. 🙂
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Carrie November 1, 2011 at 5:20 am

HA! I noticed that after I took the pic. Figured it wouldn’t surprise many though.

It’s from one of my very dearest life long friends. It says, “Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.”

However, there was almost pee last night. Just not from happiness.

Karyn November 1, 2011 at 4:04 am

Love your little computer corner, the US is so great about stuff like that, built in desks, making the most of an area – we dont do that nearly as well here. Im pretty much as bad about bugs n stuff, and I have been known to do the Elaine dance (Im assuming you know what I mean here) when I thought there was a bug of any kind flying near me, so I feel your pain.
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Carrie November 1, 2011 at 5:21 am

Oh, yes…I do know the Elaine dance! All too well.

It’s just at a much greater speed when a flying anything is involved.

Denise Freidhoff November 1, 2011 at 7:23 am

Love you blog…..saw it on Krizzy Designs.

I went to Los Angelos a few years ago for work and had to stay in a hotel by myself, which I hate for some reason. Because I am a chicken I left the bathroom light on and closed the door most of the way so that I would have a night light. Around 1:00 am I had to go to the bathroom. I walked across the room and then froze because I saw a person in the bathroom door. I was so scared that I just froze. I don’t think my heart has ever beat that fast. It took me about two minutes to realize that the person I was seeing was me!! I forgot that there was a mirror on the outside of the bathroom door . With the bathroom door closed most of the way and the bathroom light on I could see my reflection in the mirror. Who needs scary movies when you can scare the crap out of yourself!! I almost did, well not the crap part, but I almost peed my pants.

Carrie November 1, 2011 at 8:26 am

Oh, Denise. For being here…I like you.

For THAT story…I LOVE YOU!

Sheer perfection. You, my friend, have taken the cake…won the prize…stole the trophy.

As I was reading, I was like, “Damn! Somebody in her room ain’t quite the same as a bat. Or a crow!”

Then…IT WAS YOU! HAHAHA!!

Absolutely the best ever. I like, am seriously standing and clapping. A winner deserves lots and lots of clapping!!!

Carrie November 1, 2011 at 8:31 am

Oh, and another thing. Is Krystyn not the best? I mean, pure miracle worker.

And has two of the cutest little redheads!!

Megan - Best of Fates November 1, 2011 at 2:56 pm

I completely sympathize! Only I would have assumed the noise was a serial killer breaking in and not a bat!
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Carrie November 1, 2011 at 3:20 pm

EXACTLY.

I, too, usually make it out in my mind much, much bigger than it is. I mean…after it happens and I think back over it, I’m all like, “A bat? Really? You really thought of a bat?”

Thank you for making me feel tons less alone. =)

Jennifer November 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm

This right here? Is why I sleep with earplugs every friggin’ night. I can not stand the little sounds during the night of paper or clothes being moved by the fan or the house settling or my kids moaning in their sleep or whatever. I just can’t take it.
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Carrie November 1, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Ooohhh…you’re way better than me. I wanna hear whatevers coming at me before it hits.

Joan @chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate November 1, 2011 at 9:13 pm

you know when I’m having a bad day, or even just a few bad minutes, you are what makes it all better, thanks for the laugh! And I would have been diving for a baseball bat if something “flew” around my head, don’t feel bad, we’re all tough when we need to be! Baaaaaaad Asssss Bitches all the way!
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Carrie November 1, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Aww, Joan…you sure know how to brighten a stupid day.

And yes. I play “bad to the bone” anytime I can get away with it. Just as long as a gnat or moth don’t interrupt me.

(Send cream cheese squares.)

=)

Theresa Torres November 2, 2011 at 3:50 am

Hi Carrie,
If that happened to me, I’d be screaming like a banshee. Double the fright since it’s Halloween. I’ve got two kids and I can’t sleep without a night lamp on. I’m terrified of roaches, worm-like things, and people that I know dying imagining them visiting me. That’s why I don’t watch horror movies and zombies ‘coz they stick in my mind for a long time.
I also love your little corner. It looks comfy.
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Carrie November 2, 2011 at 6:34 am

Oh, I get all that! I was always one that loved the horror flicks though. But kinda like a rollercoaster…the older I get, the more I can’t handle’em.

Aging ain’t too kind. =)

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