Tic tacs and a peppermint a meal does not make.

October 26, 2011 in Me and My Public Self

Despite being practically raised on Subway…I still love me some Subway.

Actually, it’s the 6″ veggie patty on flatbread that I love.  With like tons of veggies.  On top of the veggie patty.

And I’m not that big of a veggie lover.  Go figure.


There are two things that urk (I don’t really like that word, but it just flows good here and I’m wanting more than “bother” but less than “irritate”) me about some people who choose to do Subway.

1.  “What can I get you?”  “Uh, yeah…let me think.  Uhhh, uhhh…let me have the….uhhh, uhhh.”

And you know they’ve been standing in line for approximately 4.8 minutes which is ample time to gaze over that big board that list every sandwich known to man.  Or known to man-who-eats-at-Subway.

2.  “What can I get you?”  “Uh, yeah…I need to get 4 sandwiches.”

Aaaaannndd, they pull out that little crumpled piece of paper with smudged ink all over it.

I could literally die.  Especially when I’ve only had a couple of tic-tacs for breakfast.  And a peppermint I stole off the desk of the really sweet girl I work with, for an immediate post-breakfast snack.

And we can keep that between us.  Thank you.

Today, I found out it can actually get worse.  There are now, in fact…three things.

I walk up and take my place in line.  Big cowboy dude in front of me, and his sandwich is under construction.  All is good in the world.

They slide it down.  He says, “OK, I need to get one more but with no cheese.”

All ain’t quite as good anymore.

The whole time, I noticed he has that phone-jack thing in his ear.  That little thing you can’t see so it looks as if he’s talking to God.  Or Buddha.  Or Satan.  Who knows these days.  And right now, who cares.

Tic-tacs and a peppermint.  That’s it.

They slide it down.  He says, “OK, now let me get a footlong…” and proceeds to talk to the person on the other side of the phone-jack thing.  I can’t help but stare.  Up a bit.  And to the right.  Directly at the side of his face.

Though I’m quite a bit smaller than him, I could sense his fear.  He turned to me, smiled and said, “Sorry ma’am.”  I just nodded and looked back at my blank stare to be reckoned with in the reflection of that big glass that protects the meatballs from the hungry public.  And sneezes.  And dirty kid fingers.

They slide it down.  And thank you, Jesus…he slides on down with it.

My turn.

I couldn’t help but listen.  Or nose.  Or eavesdrop.  Whatever you want to call it, I was all up in his business now.  Hunger ain’t THAT strong.

For that last footlong, he proceeded to ask the person on the other end of his phone-jack thing what they wanted.  He went lettuce.  By spinach. By pickles.  By black olives.  By onions.  By cucumbers.

I.  Kid.  You.  Not.

They wanted salt, but no pepper.  And spicy mustard, not the plain.  And they wanted it cut twice in smaller portions instead of once smack down the middle.

Again.  Tic-tacs and a peppermint.

As they’re wrapping up his 74 sandwiches and he’s pulling out his wallet, he turns to me and says, “Sorry again, ma’am.  But that was my wife and well…”  And he shrugs.

Totally got it.

God help the man ever good enough to me to care if I want banana peppers or not.  He may never rest.

But.  Let me just throw this out there.  If I’m picking up your lunch?  You’re getting whatever I get you.  You can pick off the pickles.  Add more mayo.  Cut it yourself.

Unless, of course, you’re good enough to me to care if I want banana peppers or not.


I’m sharing this with Momma Made it Look Easy…check out Jennifer’s blog.  You will love her!

mark @ yelling near you October 26, 2011 at 6:28 pm

The real question here is why he didn’t already know what she wanted? Newly weds maybe?
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Carrie October 26, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Probably just a smart man knowing each sandwich she gets, is totally different from the last.

Maybe? Probably. =)

Sandy Nesom October 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm

I love going to subway…. i always order mine first and Lon always says (just to make it easy) he will have one just like mine…. I be damn if I would eat one with mayo and tomatos (like he really likes)…maybe he was the man with the phone ear jack???? LOL

Carrie October 26, 2011 at 7:37 pm

It was hard to be urked by him after seeing the way he made sure that sandwich was juuuust right.

Breane Dooley October 26, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Which Subway did you go to? Please tell me you got you Hep shot before hittin’ that one up over in the ghetto across from the high school?

I’m glad I’m not the only one with “issues” at Subway. #4 – Subway has white american, provolone or pepper jack cheese. It’s not that complex. Don’t ask for cheddar after they tell you what three cheeses they have. Either that or learn to read the BIG ASS SIGN RIGHT IN FRONT OF WHERE YOU ORDER. #5 – unless your kid is big enough to see over the nasty hand rail, you can order for him/her. I don’t have all day to wait on your snot-nosed kid to order pickles on half and tomatoes on half (but not on the pickle side).

People are so annoying. Not that I have an opinion about this topic or anything (since I, too, eat at Subway several times a week).

Carrie October 26, 2011 at 8:34 pm

OMG. I do believe I just lost some bladder. Right here. Right now.

Yes. It’s the ghetto Subway. Haven’t been in a while for fear of stray bullets. But like I said, I was HONGREE.

Mandy Bullard October 26, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Well…. I don’t eat at Subway. BUT! I did go to Cheddars tonight. They brought my chicken to me cold, so I gave it back and asked for a new plate with warm chicken. I’m sure I got ALL KINDS OF LOOGIES (how does one spell that????) chucked up hidden under my lettuce. BUT! And, I repeat BUT! My chicken was HOT!!!! 😉
Stay with Subway- least you can see if they spit in your food…..

Carrie October 26, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Me and Subway are tight. I normally go to a different one than the one today.

Enough to where Valerie (uh, huh…I know them by name) starts on my sandwich when she sees me drive up.

I’m a sad case.

Joan @chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate October 26, 2011 at 9:35 pm

So I’m guessing cowboy guy wasn’t a hot cowboy, huh, could have been a whole different story, lol
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Carrie October 26, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Girl…you know me too well.

But no. Nice…but I was hungry and eye-ballin’ that veggie patty.

I’m quite sure he had his hands full by the instructions he was given on that sandwich though. He’d probably say one woman was enough! =)

Karyn October 26, 2011 at 10:46 pm

I have to give him a little cred for the apologies to you. There are a lot of obnoxious asses out there that would continue to do their gazillion-piece-order and not giving a flying-fox who they were holding up and for how long. And his wife sounds like a royal pain!

I cant imagine me doing that to my hubby ever. Then again, maybe its because I’m not picky and anal enough that he brings-me-home-whatever-the-hell-he-chooses-and-I’d-better-be-grateful-I-got-anything-dammit. Perhaps that little woman has something there we all need to be considering…

And as an aside I have to tall you I SO miss the ‘Ma’am’ in Texas, I LOVE the ma’am. I WISH we did the ma’am here. I tried to get the 7 year old to stick with it after we moved but he felt like an idiot here in Aus, so I had to let him give it up lest he get beaten around the playground like a ragdoll by all those rugby-playing-boys.
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Carrie October 27, 2011 at 12:16 am

Being the cowboy, hat and all…he was a gentleman to the tee. And not just to the wife.

I fully expected him to totally ignore me…but nope. He was raised up well. And had tons of patience. Like I said, if it was me, you’re getting what you’re getting.

Pop October 27, 2011 at 7:36 am

…. I just love Subway(s) … !

Carrie October 27, 2011 at 7:52 am

Don’t I know.

And I ain’t complaining. Not one bit. =)

Jennifer October 27, 2011 at 3:18 pm

I’ve never been a big fan of Subway. I know, I know. I’m just not a veggie girl so a big roll of bread with some meat slapped on it just isn’t all that great.
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Carrie October 27, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Pops had like 5 of them. Hello, inheritance.

Therefore…love, love, love.
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Angie October 28, 2011 at 8:10 am

I have serious patience issues, and was afraid I would stroke out before actually getting my sandwich at Subway many a time. Thankfully, up popped a bunch of Jimmy John’s Sandwich Shops. I love their sandwiches and their motto is “subs so fast you’ll freak”. I literally can almost never get my money or card out by the time they have my sandwich ready!

Carrie October 28, 2011 at 8:15 am

Never tried Jimmy John’s before…though I do see several around here.

For me though, it’s not the workers….it’s the idiots in line. No clue, no idea, no nothing.

And I’d be willing to bet they get the saaaaame thing everytime.

Desiree October 28, 2011 at 11:03 am

I have a problem with subway. I’m more of a Togo’s gal. At togos you order your number whatever and you can either say “everything on it” or ask them to leave out whatever. Subway has SO many options that when I just want wants on the menu, they still have to ask me what I want on it. In my head I scream “I want whats on the picture on the menu!!!! Everything thats on there.” But they never know and then I have to make up my own sandwich. Call me lazy, but that’s MY little Subway pet peeve 😉

Carrie October 28, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Can certainly understand that. But can you imagine if there were no choices?!? Man, people would be up in arms over a pickle.

Kinda like maybe this dude’s wife would’ve been. =)

Peggy Sterling Scarborough October 28, 2011 at 6:29 pm

A slow talking cowboy, uhh? Sounds good to me, ‘mam!
I’d let a cowboy saunter in front of me anytime and any where…lol!

As always I’m

Making It Work Mom October 28, 2011 at 7:19 pm

We love in a very small town. We have a pizza place and a Subway. We eat at Subway a lot and there are five of us. The other night I went in to order our sandwiches – which luckily are not complicated because my kids are simple people. The woman behind me was amazed that I was able to so efficiently order five sandwiches. It ain’t rocket science people!!!!!

Visiting from Momma Made It Look Easy.

Carrie October 28, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Very cool. I grew up in a very small town and remember the days of only a pizza joint and Sonic. That was it.

Then my dad brought the first Subway to town. Which explains my first line of “Despite being practically raised on Subway…”

But this ain’t about the place…it’s about the manners. Or sometimes lack of. So, though I may never stand behind your family of 5 waiting my turn, thank you, thank you, thank you for proving a large order can be done…and done right! =)

(And don’t you just love Jennifer!!!)

maggie s October 28, 2011 at 8:39 pm

So funny. And so true. I am always sensitive that all five of us move through the line. I am always behind someone who is getting the “just so” except “completely modified”.
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Carrie October 28, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Preach it, sister!

Some of us have ALL the luck, huh?!? =)

Jennifer October 29, 2011 at 11:45 am

I am impressed he kept apologizing to you. I live in NJ (not by choice- but because the government says I have to) and I swear to all that is holy that I walked out of the pizza joint yesterday with my arms stacked high with take-out and as I was walking across the parking lot (that I DID check for moving traffic) a woman whipped in off the road quickly and almost hit me. She rolled down her window and I thought she was going to apologize and instead I got, “Next time, I will just hit you, okay?” I just stood there dumbfounded.
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Carrie October 29, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Oh. Wow.


Karma. That stuff will bite you in the butt over and over…so I am quite sure she’ll get her “charm” thrown back in her face one day.

NJ ain’t that bad. I lived in Newark for about 6 weeks (about 10 years ago). I will say though, those in the north don’t have our southern hospitality. I was a flight attendant for a major airline and always loved early morning flights out of Newark because that meant I didn’t have to smile or speak to anyone. And that was NOT considered rude or inattentive. As a matter of fact, it was rude if I DID bother anyone on the flight with small-talk.

However, flying out of Texas at ANYTIME? Chatter, chatter, chatter, chatter….

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