I am no longer interested in dating dude’s with cats and I now need a new mouse.

November 29, 2011 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

Unless some really nice guy who can pay his own bills because he has a steady job and believes in love comes knocking at my door…I’m not sure it’s gonna happen.

Yes.  I certainly hope to one day meet a nice guy who has more to him than a job.  But really, my standards are slowing waning.

(Did you hear me just use the word “waning” up there??)

(And that just came out.  I didn’t even have to think of it.)

(I’m good.)

Once, maybe twice a year I’ll throw in the old “date me I’m single” card and do the online thing.

Which totally kills me.

My generation (ok, it’s more like “me” so I really shouldn’t say allll of us) is right on the edge of that not-really-sure-if-this-online-stuff-is-for-me-but-everyone-seems-to-have-a-third-cousin-twice-removed it worked for.

Or a neighbor.

Or a co-worker.

Or a pony.

So, we try it.

(Again…I’m pulling my whole generation in with me.  Cause I hate doing this shit alone.)

Anyway.

This weekend I thought, “Maybe I’ll just look.  And see.  Because maybe there might be some dude that might draw my attention.”

So, I did.

And boy was there some dude that totally drew my attention.

And here’s some snippets of the VERY FIRST ONE I clicked on:

(I said the VERY FIRST.)

Warning

I am a romantic and emotional creature. If this is not your bag then please stop now and turn away

Furthermore:
I’m new at this so I may come across as overbearing and pushy.. I’m not.. it’s just if we click, then damn it; We click.

Sweet mother…he put a friggin’ warning up.

He.  Put.  A.  Friggin. Warning.

Up.

Plus, he didn’t end his sentence with a period.  Who does that these days?

I just copied/pasted.  That’s all.  No magic.  Didn’t put “romantic” or “emotional creature” in the search box or anything.

(I started to though.  Cause “emotional creature” is absolutely, without a doubt, what I’m all over.)

At this point…my ass is totally amused.

Here’s more:

I’m sure you can see from the picture that (The cat) adores me. This is the case with all animals.

(Oh.  He said that because HE HAS A PICTURE OF HIS FACE KISSING HIS CAT.)

Poor, poor (The cat). I guess that's it's name. With parenthesis being part of it.

I won’t dare put his face on here, but HAD to prove that I ain’t making this up.

I’m not that smart or quick-witted.

Keeping on:

I am an ex drug user and felon.

(Further more if anything I’ve mentioned turns you away then it wouldn’t have worked out anyways.)

Besides the picture of him molesting that poor cat (who I guess I should refer to as (The cat)), there is a picture of him laying back on a pile of pillows with his arm draped over his head.

Which is so totally hot.

(Eh-hem.  Anyway.)

And really.  What could he have possibly mentioned at this point that would make me turn away?

I’d like to meet someone who is interested in, or can handle being involved, with animals. I want to help populate the world one day.

Well, hells bells.

That right there did it.  I could not turn away fast enough.

(I think I broke my mouse clicking off the site.)

And no.  I’m not saying which site.  It’s legit though.  Not some www.datemeimacatkisser.com.

(If you do the Google on that, you’re on your own.  I ain’t responsible for whatever you find.)

You’ve alllll heard of it.  Commercials, magazine ads…oh, yeah.

But in the site’s defense…it’s not their fault.  I did see some really nice guys that are probably great and totally upstanding.

With jobs.

Who pay their own bills.

But, I think for right now I might go back into hibernation.

I’ll look into all this again after the first of the year.

Somebody send me a new mouse though.

Debbie November 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Oh dear I just have to make a comment on this one. The dating sites are just s_ _ t! Nothing but married men and perverts or is that just what I have experienced. I in your same boat sister– once in a blue moon I get the urge to go join one and it usually lasts for about a day…

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Girl…comment ANYTIME!

I just couldn’t help but laugh my ass off! It was hysterical. And I was like, “Oh, this is so going on the blog.”

I do know lots who have met online and I’m sure it’s great. I just haven’t had the best of luck. Which is totally ok.

My luck is bound to change sooner or later. =)

Jennifer November 29, 2011 at 7:22 pm

You wouldn’t consider going out with him just so you could write about it would you?
Jennifer recently posted..What would you wish for?My Profile

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Hmmm…well, hell.

THAT could totally be worth a write.

But. No.

Not unless maybe (The cat) went with us. I’m betting the conversation would be much easier. For me.

Breane Dooley November 29, 2011 at 7:27 pm

I met my hubs on a dating/chat site. That was 10 years ago this coming March. So all I’ve got to say is… you can find you a good man (who has a job… and maybe a dog, but not them damn worthless yippers that girls put in purses these days) on there if you look hard enough. Just sayin’… don’t give up. Mr. Right is out there, waiting for a great girl like you to show up in his life. 🙂

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Oh, I have no doubt there are fab men on sites. The sis is marrying one she found on there.

It just kills me how the FIRST ONE is…well, him? And (The cat)?

Amy November 29, 2011 at 7:32 pm

I love to email those guys and just mess with them. It’s just soo fun!!!! I know, I know…there is something wrong with me. But late on a Saturday night….you can keep yourself entertained for hours.

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Well, I might would email (The cat).

(The cat) is probably much more interesting.

Katherine Brown November 29, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I also met my husband of almost thirteen years, and fell in love with him, online. Granted, our families knew each other; we had just never met. And after we emailed back and forth for several months across five states (him here, me in FL), we lost touch, and seven months later found each other again on…one of “those” sites.

Granted, there are some PSYCHOS on there, and (The cat) dude is definitely one of them. AND it’s possible the sites are not what they were ten/fifteen years ago…but you are SO worth loving and one day, someone, on the internet or not, will see that, pretty lady!

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Aww…you’re too much. =)

My girlfriend back home met her husband online. And about 712 times she has said to me, “My God, it was NOTHING like this back when I did it!”

I guess with everything else…crap changes.

(But it’s still fun to poke fun at!)

Sandy Nesom November 29, 2011 at 7:56 pm

roflol….. I need another cat, we are down to one and ususally like to have two, just sayin….. 🙂

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Well.

I’m pretty sure the felon would hand over (The cat) for a small fee.

But YOU contact him. I ain’t.

Karyn November 29, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Uh-uh! No way! I actually re-read this again to fully take in the horror. Is this guy really for real or do you think he’s being a douche? Because that’s some freaky stuff right there. If its any consolation, I would kill for a few nights alone, silence, my own TV/Music choices playing through the house, no one else’s socks all over my bedroom floor – if you’re in the market for a “life-swap”, I’m totally up for it! 😉
Karyn recently posted..Your Children Aren’t Nearly As Intelligent As You Believe. Trust Me On This.My Profile

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Oh, he’s for real. Though, honestly that’s the worst I’ve ever seen. I have never come across such a creepball before.

I gotta tell you…it ain’t a bad gig, this single stuff. I joke about it, but it ain’t bad at all.

I’ll call a girlfriends house and I hear kids screaming in the background, the TV blaring, dogs barking…all kinds of crap. Then I hang up the phone and I hear the angels sing.

And the crickets chirping.

I might joke, but I sho’ ain’t complaining.

Kim November 29, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Seriously, I think I just peed my pants from laughing. Strangely enough, it wasn’t the warning, or the cat on the face, or the felony…it was the “hells bells” line that put me over the edge. So funny!

P.S. My post title is from that scene in Grease! I love that you got my reference, I think you may be the only one 🙂

http://memoirs0famama.blogspot.com/2011/11/brusha-brusha-brusha.html

Carrie November 29, 2011 at 9:33 pm

HA! Back when I was about 12, I spent the night with a friend and we thought we were all cool. And we thought her parents were gone.

She yelled out, “Well, hells bells!” about something. Lo and behold, her momma had come in and we didn’t know it.

She made us read the bible that night.

But I still say it. Even in the church parking lot sometimes.

And Grease IS THE WORD! I totally got that before I even started reading!

Maren November 30, 2011 at 4:58 am

Haha, some people are just unreal. 😀 I met my husband online, but I can tell you there were no cat-kissing pictures .. 😉
Maren recently posted..In need of advice!My Profile

Carrie November 30, 2011 at 5:57 am

See…another one. Cause I’m sure if you picked him, he has to be a good one!

I’m just gonna hold out and hope maybe a guy a little less creepy surfaces. Or at least one that isn’t a felon. =)

Jennifer November 30, 2011 at 11:15 am

I was thinking the same thing Jennifer was… that you need to go out with one of those whackos and write about it! But, please be safe- leave the felon out of the picture.
Jennifer recently posted..Thankful for Mermaids & LegosMy Profile

Carrie November 30, 2011 at 11:21 am

You know what’s sad? I HAVE stories of whackos I’ve already been out with.

Sad.

One who just didn’t show up after confirming, one who would disappear for days on end then re-surface, then the one who’s girlfriend called me.

Yep. Single life has it’s stories. Fo’sho.

Chrissy November 30, 2011 at 11:34 am

OHHHH Sweetie!!! I will give you a new mouse and a bottle of wine!

The problem is that you have to sift through all the crazies and crap to find the good ones.. You know that Rick and I met online in a generic chat room (I was dating someone and not looking) and here we are 11 years later married and happy as ever.

The lucky guy who meets you and “wins’ you over (Robert and Al don’t count..LOL)will show up one day and probably when you least expect it.

Carrie November 30, 2011 at 11:45 am

Just as long as he doesn’t show up with a criminal record and (The cat).

=)

Joan @chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate November 30, 2011 at 5:46 pm

OMG! I’m peeing my pants, lol.

Why is he even looking for a woman when he has his cat?

Carrie, I’ll be your date if you ever get really desperate and I promise I”m not an ex druggie or a felon (yet.)

Oh, and my sister also tried the online thing, didn’t work for her either but she did make some good friends 🙂
Joan @chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate recently posted..White TrashMy Profile

Carrie November 30, 2011 at 5:51 pm

I know, right?!? I mean…he has (The cat)!

You are a DOLL. I’d be living way too good to find a man just half the woman you are.

Wait. Does that even make sense? I’m sure you know what I mean. =)

mark December 1, 2011 at 11:14 am

Too funny! Bitsy has at least one story about a dating site that she gave a try before she met me. For every successful story there must be 100 frightening/hilarious unsuccessful ones.
mark recently posted..I is inn-o-scent, I swearMy Profile

Carrie December 1, 2011 at 11:18 am

I’m betting you are right on that. I’ve already gone through several bad dates…I need one or two good ones!

And get Bitsy to blog on her dates! I can only imagine what she’d have to say cause she is one funny Bitsy!!!

Maggie S. December 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm

If you say you are a felon, shouldn’t you say what you did? I mean. Murder falls under felony, but so does certain kinds of joy-riding in your grandmother’s car (according to my mother). I digress.

I know a couple who met by way of an internet dating site. I was their doula. They are quite…regular.

I wish I was as funny as you are.

Carrie December 1, 2011 at 7:22 pm

I know, right? I mean, I don’t want my first get-to-know-you session to be, “So…just what were you in the big house for?”

Dude, please.

And maybe that’s my problem. I’m not regular. Odd as that sounds.

Life is funny. Not me, Maggie…life.

Regina December 3, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Oh wow, this guy sounds like a weiner. I think sometimes guys say things to make them sound interesting and by telling you to turn away, is a tactic to get you to want him more. Mind games I tell you.

(the cat) looks like it is crying out for help, and trying to get away from his beastly owner.

Hang in there, when you least expect it, love will find you, Just make sure it has a job and doesn’t still live with its mother. 🙂
Regina recently posted..Savor Family FlavorMy Profile

Carrie December 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

(The cat) is crying all right. For help.

Christy @ cat fur to make kitten britches December 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

I just read this now, so sorry I’m a little late to the party…but I just have to say, I think (The Cat) needs his own blog. And maybe his own symbol….kind of like Prince. I think the parentheses are inching in that direction.

Carrie December 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm

I tell you what (The cat) needs. (The cat) needs a new owner.

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