It’d only be worse if it were a man calling me Kelly. When, yeah…I’m not Kelly.

November 22, 2011 in Crap I Was Considerate Enough to Not Bother You with Before Now.

I was totally wrong.

Rejection is some serious suckage.  That, I was right about.

But there IS something even worse than being rejected by not being rejected at all.

And that would be…being rejected with the WRONG NAME.

That magazine I submitted the little holiday essay to back earlier in the month?

Yeah, they responded.

By replying to my original email to them (key words there…make a note), the magazine let me know they chose a winner.

Not me…but that is completely not the point here.

Here’s what I got:


“Terry” I might could maybe get. Maybe. But Kelly? With a K when I’m a C? And some L’s when I’m some R’s?  Really?

That’s right.


Wacky, crazy stuff there.

The ASSOCIATE EDITOR replied to my original email to them (see…told you to make a note) and started it with:  Dear Kelly.

Dear.  Kelly.

Who the hell is Kelly?

Anyway.  I couldn’t resist not replying.  I mean, now it’s game on.

(And don’t get me wrong.  I’m not ticked.  Not sad.  Not even perturbed.  More like bored and feel it is my civic duty as a magazine reading American citizen to step up and bring forth the something or other they rightly deserve to know about.)

(I mean, really?  Two out of two replies I get and they are BOTH jacked?)


Completely begging for a reply, if you ask me.  And well, even if you don’t.

I wanted it more catty than bitchy.

Call out the dogs.

I wanted my catty map to land me just at the intersection of you-are-a-total-jack-job boulevard and wow-you-must-be-so-busy-you-can’t-read-right-and-I-feel-bad-for-you-kinda-but-not-really avenue.

I couldn’t resist.  Straight-up begging:

Thank you for the reply.

I was tickled to get the following notice (from a magazine) on receiving my submission on 10/06 at 9:21 p.m.:

thank you we will choosing the submission to publish next week.

And now I get your email addressed to “Kelly” when I’m Carrie.

It makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one already feeling the rush of the upcoming holiday season!

Not too much, huh?

I didn’t think so either.

I really wanted to sign it “Love, Kelly” but felt that would possibly cause some serious mass confusion that is probably not needed right now.

On either of our parts.

(But apparently, someone else has already caused them some serious mass confusion.)

(Probably Kelly.)

(Damn her.)

But well, it IS the time of the year to be thankful.

How do I know?  I mean, besides it being Thanksgiving and all?


So, I’m going to be thankful.  Right here.  Right now.

I am thankful I am not telling you I was ON A DATE and he called me Kelly.

Sweet mother, don’t even try to imagine.  Just thinking about it makes me dizzy.

(For him.)

(And Kelly.  Whoever she is.)

Sandy Nesom November 22, 2011 at 6:08 pm

you could always sign the letter Carrie a/k/a Kelly……… (at least to “this Magazine”…..
Happy Thanksgiving!! <3 Cuz, Kelly… uh I mean Carrie!!

Carrie November 22, 2011 at 6:10 pm

I was/is still in a slight state of shock that a magazine goofed up so many times.

Kim November 22, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Love your response! I have a feeling I would not have handled it quite as well. There is a high probability that my email back would have included the words idiot, proof read, and moron. People are unbelievable!
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Carrie November 22, 2011 at 6:54 pm

It really was a laugh…and I made SURE two people in my office proofread my reply before I hit send to assure (or is it ensure?) my reply wasn’t just as jacked.

God, THAT would have been embarrassing.

Peggy Scarborough November 22, 2011 at 7:07 pm

For Pete’s sake, I should have named you Kelly!

Carrie November 22, 2011 at 7:11 pm

I know, right?

It’s all your fault, mom.


Karyn November 22, 2011 at 11:40 pm

OMG such poor form! You should have written in excitement suggesting you ARE in fact the winner, because its KELLY that didn’t win, not you. Its really terrible on their part, and that being the case, I think you need to aim higher and submit to a more professional magazine, these people are just too inept and unprofessional for your excellent writing standards…
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Carrie November 23, 2011 at 6:07 am

Aww…thank you. You’re too kind, girl!

I will say though, when I was laughing with the sweet girl in the office about it, I said, “All I know is…this is some good crap to follow up on my original blog with!”

She replied with something like, “Ooohh, good idea, Kelly.”

Maren November 23, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Haha, so, Kelly. Besides from this you’re good? 😀 I love your reply, not too much, not too weak. Perfect!
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Carrie November 23, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Yep. Good ol’Kelly.

This morning at the office someone called me Kelly and well, I wasn’t thinking. In my mind I was like, “WTF?? What did she just call me??”

Then it clicked.

And I cackled and cackled and cackled!!

maggie s November 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm

That sucks. Sounds like someone was sending out form emails while she chatted with the girl in the next cubicle didn’t change the name. There’s no telling how many people got called Kelly. Probably you should have cc’d her editor so they would know she is dorking off when she needs to be paying attention to detail… If she wants to move ahead in the editorial game, she better get the details… Maybe she doesn’t know what the word ‘edit’ means? Or maybe her blouse is buttoned wrong and her hair all snarled up in the back ’cause she’s taking the “easy” way to the top….
maggie s recently posted..Part Two: Attention to the CravingMy Profile

Jennifer November 23, 2011 at 5:39 pm

You crack me up.
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maggie s November 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I am glad Karyn said that. Because that was my first thought, too.
maggie s recently posted..Part Two: Attention to the CravingMy Profile

Carrie November 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Believe me…no hurts here. It totally made for great material for me!

I was howling. And more concerned my email back was spotless. Cause if it wasn’t…I would have been mortified!


Jennifer November 23, 2011 at 5:40 pm

I’m pretty sure you didn’t want to be published by that magazine anyway. Not with people like that there.
Jennifer recently posted..But Thanksgiving really is about the punkin’ pieMy Profile

Carrie November 23, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Yep…plus, I know I gotta get a lotta no’s before I start getting alotta yes’s.

And this is one ‘no’ I am proud of!

Jessica November 23, 2011 at 8:38 pm

What a relief to know that you felt it was your duty to respond. I have a friend who teases me for having to get the last word in, but I always seem to rationalize it as spreading the knowledge. Whatever it might be at the time. Your response, while perfectly put, was probably nicer than mine would have been. Including the other completely screwed up response you received was a very nice touch.

*Love* finding people like myself. How incredibly self-involved. I’m totally aware.

Blog hopping and found you commenting over at Jessica Bern’s. Have a great holiday.

Carrie November 23, 2011 at 8:43 pm

YAY ME! So thrilled you stopped by…and come back. Cause it’s neverending.

Never. Ending.


Jessica is a freaking riot…what a hoot!!

Jennifer November 24, 2011 at 9:50 am

Well that just could not have been more perfect! Oh Kelly, you crack me up!
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Carrie November 24, 2011 at 9:52 am

Yes…I do believe Kelly has become my new moniker.

(I know. Big word for me.)

Regina November 24, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Oh wow. You would hope that a professional company would get it right.

But now you have an alternate ego or evil side to blame things on.

“Oh no, Kelly must have done that” or to telemarketers, ‘no you’ve reached Kelly, there is no Carrie here.” 🙂

Use it to your advantage!
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Carrie November 24, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Damn…you’re good.

That could totally work. Over and over and over.

Felicia November 28, 2011 at 9:55 pm

You know that saying “if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging”? This magazine should stop digging.
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Carrie November 28, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Ooohhh…that’s good. I like that one.

And will probably run it in the ground at the office this week.


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