Never, would I ever insult an actual “writer” by referring to myself as such.
I scribble. I rattle. I ramble. I mumble. All by keyboard.
But to consider myself a writer? Eh.
I did get up the nerve to submit a little 500 word thing to a local magazine. They wanted something on what, “Home for the Holidays” meant to me.
I titled it that. That’s why I did the big quotes. It’s what they said to do. So, I did it.
The winning submission would get published in their December issue. That’s cool.
I figured I might as well start getting rejected now in my life of scribbling. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been rejected before. In other areas of my life.
Rejection is serious suckage. But I
normally sometimes usually bounce back pretty ok.
(Especially since I turned 40. Sweet mother…rejection can get on up in the back seat. Crap I used to lose sleep over for days I now won’t waste a fart over.)
Plus, if I don’t occasionally get jerked around and rejected, I won’t really know the rush of that stamp of approval feeling, right?
A week or so after I sent in the essay or whatever you wanna call it…I received this little jewel.
Would you f’ing read this?
This was the reply I got back FROM A MAGAZINE.
Again. FROM. A. MAGAZINE.
Not a capital letter to be found. No comma. And a missing word.
And I ain’t no grammar scholar, mind you. My spelling ain’t stellar and I can barely speak legibly.
BUT I AIN’T A MAGAZINE EITHER.
So, once I finally DID get the rejection (which was the biggest total rejection I’ve ever received because they didn’t even send a rejection letter letting me know they were rejecting me so being rejected by not being rejected at all…well, that’s a beat down), I shed not one tear.
And that was a kick-ass essay I wrote. I’ll post it later. After I get the tree up and start singing that song I really like that’s a duet (but hate by December 17th cause it’s been bouncing around in my head so long). I can’t ever remember the damn name of it though.
And spike my egg nog all up.
Cause I got me some Christmas spirit going on. Don’t judge. Don’t hate.
OK. I got way off the beaten path there.
in closing i’d like to say thankyou to that magazine for making me see i are not so dumb afterall. maybe i can write maybe i am even smarter they are.