December 2011

I’d cook more if I had a kid to do the dishes afterwards.

December 27, 2011

Once upon a time…long, long ago…I wanted children. Bad. Like really, really bad. And if I would have had a child when I was seeing doctors, giving blood, taking all kinds of pills…that kid would be about 10 now. (Whoa.) (I mean, really. Me with a 10 year old.) (It’d be the hippest kid in [...]

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My family is total love…but let’s keep it real.

December 24, 2011

I love these people. I really do. Though I probably don’t tell them often enough. We laugh. We interrupt. We get loud. We love. A lot. These people are my strength. My support. My total joy. But regardless of how deep my love is for them…more than a couple of hours is really enough. But [...]

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Remember what mom always said about clean underwear? Well, it now matters.

December 22, 2011

OK. Get this. The nieces came to the work joint this week to have lunch with us. “Us” being me (of course) and their mom…the smart sister. (They think it’s all funny they’re out of school and WE have to work. Whatever.) (Yes, the smart sister and I work at the same company. Again, whatever.) [...]

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Rockin Around the Christmas Tree. With my twang.

December 18, 2011

Believe it or not, I can be quite the extrovert. I know. I was shocked, too. But then I do have introvert-y tendencies. I like to laugh loud, but don’t put me in the spotlight. I like to sing in the car, but don’t ask me to do it in public. Until now, apparently. Remember [...]

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I might have some of what it apparently takes to be a reality show. But do I have one? No.

December 16, 2011

I never get sick. Never. I learned this week to never say never, too. I’m not absolutely positive, but I think this suckage hit me when I was watching those damn Kardashian’s on that Barbara Walter’s special this week. (No. The suckage didn’t hit me then, but I dislike the Kardashian’s enough to blame them [...]

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Hey, come on in and don’t pay any mind that naked man.

December 13, 2011

Listen. When you’re single and have no tax credits, you can pretty much live as you wish. Don’t get me wrong and don’t go getting all preachy on me. I’m sure one day I’ll marry again. And I’m sure one day I won’t have kids again. Love’em both. But I don’t have either now so [...]

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My new phone and I don’t seem to agree on who I really am.

December 11, 2011

You would think this advanced technology stuff would be smart enough to just see things as I do. Apparently not.

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Serious multi-tasking at the work joint that could make you hot. In a “bust a move” kind of way.

December 6, 2011

I’m going to assume you know what multi-tasking is. (Ya’ll remember what Benny Hill used to say about the word “assume”? It makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” Get it? That shit together spells the word assume.) (I used to stay up late and watch Benny Hill when I was like 11. I [...]

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I got nothing. Except a wine-stained skirt and a candle.

December 4, 2011

It’s way late. Like, well past midnight. I could have done this much earlier. But I didn’t get out of bed till after 10:00 on this Saturday morning. (So worthless. I obviously still have no shame.) Then I laid around till 3:00. When I had to run some clothes to the dry-cleaners before they closed. [...]

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