A really bad cough you totally try to ignore isn’t the only lame thing in life.

January 7, 2012 in Crap I Was Considerate Enough to Not Bother You with Before Now.,Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

I am so bad about telling myself  crap like, “Oh, just ignore it and it’ll go away.”

I’ve done that with chores, housework, men and coughs.

Plus about 17 kadillion other things.

One of the hardest things in life is to stifle a cough.  It ain’t cute and it kinda hurts after a while.

It quickly turns into an ugly bark.  Then a gag.

Well, a cough has crept into my life this week.

And it has made me say so many times, “Oh, no I’m fine.  It sounds worse than it is.”

(Is that even the right use of the word?  Or should it be worst?  Nevermind…I’m right.)

It sounds like I have kennel cough.

It’s very hoof-y sounding.  You know…like you’re barking the words “hoof hoof” when you do it.

(I know you just tried it.)

(It doesn’t happen non-stop.  Not one of those coughs.  Just that “when you’re thinking about something else and completely forgot you have a cough and HOOOOF HOOOOF you now remember you have a cough you’re trying to ignore” kind of cough.)

And that’s where I’ve been all week.  Trying to ignore a cough.

My new best friend. This week anyway.

I should’ve taken the hint I was bothering people when I barely had a .4 second cough out and the boss yells, “If you wanna go home you can!” from his office.

“I’m fine…but thanks.”

I think I heard him banging his head on his desk.


Even a cough can be a life saver.

Because when you have a really bad cough you’re totally ignoring…

…but on Wednesday you accept an invite for a first date on Friday with a guy you think seems pretty nice then he TEXTS (not calls…texts)  you on Thursday with a lame excuse of having to work late then take his dogs to the vet on Friday night so you offer to just do it another time (when you totally now know you’re never going to answer his call or text again because THIS is jacked) so you ignore his text at 10:00 pm Friday because it’s probably safe to assume he is texting you now to make amends because he didn’t like the girl he ditched you for after all and he thinks you’re too stupid to know that’s what he most likely just did…

…you realize a really bad cough is better to have on a Friday night than a date with a guy who can’t come up with better lame excuses.

Breane Dooley January 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Maybe he was telling the truth? Maybe he was just nervous about going out with such a great catch? Never know… Maybe you should give him a second chance.

PS – If he turns out to be a douchebag, you can always leave him with a couple gnarly coughs. 🙂

Carrie January 7, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Nope. And if that’s the case, sorry. Confidence is hot.

mark January 7, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Feel better soon, Carrie! That sucks about the loser with lame excuses. I was going to call him dude, but that would be an insult to the Dude (Lebowski).

The Yelling Near You trifecta for illness recovery is this: Nyquil (check), Tylenol Complete, and Muscinex D. Do read the indications and taking them all at once might not be advisable. Muscinex D is behind the counter because it contains an ingredient needed for making crystal meth. It’s that good.
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Carrie January 7, 2012 at 1:53 pm

He was a nice guy, but that was the clincher after a couple of already small red flags that made me kinda iffy.

But he was nice. Trust me. I know NOT nice.

I’m doing the Mucinex during the day and NyQuil at night. I might just roll over to meth if this barking continues.

Wendy January 7, 2012 at 2:10 pm

i was totally going to suggest you reschedule the date purely to cough on the guy, but read through your comments to discover that he really isn’t bad enough to cough on. now i just feel guilty for wanting you to infect him. boo!

feel better, carrie dear. i hope it won’t come to meth, but think of the exciting posts scoring illicit drugs with whooping cough would make for? ooh. i think i just got the chills!
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Carrie January 7, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Now you’re making meth sound miserably good.

Never thought of THAT aspect of it! Total brilliance!

Maggie S. January 7, 2012 at 4:57 pm

So we are ignoring the cough? Or are we ignoring the man? Let’s ignore both.

Text. Srsly…th wrld iz goin 2 hll n a hndbskt

Carrie January 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Well, the cough refuses to be ignored. It’s in total control of my life right now.

And on the hndbskt stuff…preach it, sister. You’re absolutely right.

Jennifer January 7, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Ugh- MEN! I hope you get over your cough soon- my most memorable “trying to stifle a cough” moment was the first time I ever went to NYC. I had the flu. It sucked. My friends and I went to see a play on broadway and to keep from being rude, I was stifling my cough the entire time. My eyes were literally watering it was so bad! Luckily, it was a comedy and every time the audience laughed, I would get the cough out. This threw my two friends into a fit of giggles, which made me giggle and, yes, COUGH. True story.
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Carrie January 7, 2012 at 6:20 pm


And thanks for making me laugh thinking of YOU hacking up particles in a Broadway play.

Fashionista Era January 8, 2012 at 6:44 am

Hi honey,

Firstly sorry about your cough…i know its horrible feeling. Just take it easy, as for the guy, if he is making excuses, hes probably not worth it. No matter how busy i believe he shd make it up to you else the best thing is the way you think – hes a jacka$$ :p

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Carrie January 8, 2012 at 10:37 am

Thanks…I am hoping to get rid of this thing soon.

Maren January 8, 2012 at 8:19 am

Aw, hope you feel better soon! And about that guy, do we really know that it was an excuse? I don’t want to be naive, but it might have been true?
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Carrie January 8, 2012 at 10:40 am

Well, it might have been true. I just think that first impression was still being made and well, to ask a girl out then to make an appointment with a vet and have to work late and not have the decency to “re-schedule” by phone just left me with a bad taste.

It would have been much easier for me to understand if a phone call was made (since we’d already been speaking on the phone) with another night suggested.

Jessica January 8, 2012 at 8:34 am

We have been telling this dude at work to go home too. But he is more sickly than just the cough he is spraying around. And as for the texting dude-good for you. No response is perfect. Dumb man.
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Carrie January 8, 2012 at 10:41 am

I hate it for my co-workers. And if I’m not better later today, I’m calling the boss. It sounds horrible and I’m always the first to tell someone to go home if they’re sick around me.

Hollywood Farm January 8, 2012 at 11:45 am

Stay away from that scary Nyquil.
Delsym for coughs KICKS ASS and won’t cause any hallucinations! That Nyquil sent my oldest crawling up a mirrored closet door. Watch out that stuff is freaky deaky!

As far as Mr. Texter..my response would have been this…..

MVCHMMNN…….excuse me, in the process of making out!

That’ll show em!
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Carrie January 8, 2012 at 5:36 pm

I’m hitting the doctor first thing in the morning. I’m hoping he has some miracle cure.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell January 8, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I’d take the cough over a douche any day of the week!

Carrie January 8, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Yeah…I hear you, sister. I totally hear you.

Karyn January 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Total douche, pretty awesome that you didn’t even have to waste one second of a good weekend to find that out. I hate when you go on the date, figure out at the 10-minute mark they’re as boring as grandpa’s wood chopping accident story told for the 67th time and then you have to spend the next 2 hours nodding and smiling politely before you can bail. Oh, and on the coughing thing, go to a health or organic grocery/health store and get cough syrup with elderberry in it – tastes great and works miracles!
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Carrie January 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I’m telling you…right now, I’ll try anything. It’s gotten worse as the weekend has passed. I’m gonna be sitting in the parking lot of my doctor’s office in the morning bright and early.

Regina January 8, 2012 at 6:23 pm


Mucinex, I believe is an expectorant, meaning it will make you cough. You would want a SUPPRESSANT to keep from coughing. 😉

Hope you feel better.

And I would have went out with the guy to cough on him and told him,it’s nothing, just a slight case of SARS. :p
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Carrie January 8, 2012 at 6:25 pm

And now your little remark there is an EXPECTORANT!

Totally have me cackling now…=)

Melssa Placzek January 9, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Get well soon Carrie! Sorry that guy bailed on your date. Obviously a dork if he doesn’t jump at the opportunity to take you out! 🙂


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Carrie January 10, 2012 at 9:08 am

Well, he ain’t the first dork in my life and unfortnately…he probably won’t be the last.
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Poppy January 10, 2012 at 8:14 pm

If I’m ever in a position, I am totally taking dating tips from you. Your confidence IS hot. Cough or not.
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Carrie January 10, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Aww…God love it!

I’d like to stay and chat, but I’m reading about this suh-weeet dude taking this hot chick to Skamania Lodge for their 10 year anniversary.

Tons of congrats and love to you and Craig…tons. =)

Felicia January 12, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I agree – better to have a cough than a lame-ass date. But I hope you’re feeling better now.
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