I quite possibly may be the only person not all up into resolutions.
I lie to myself about plenty without even realizing it at the time. I don’t need to actually consciously do it.
And list it all out.
Though I did consider two resolutions a couple of days ago…but after about 2.7 seconds of thought, I realized I couldn’t do these two things any better or any harder than I already do:
1. Judge people quicker simply based on the mood I’m in at that time
2. Curse more
See? Resolutions should probably require a little effort. I had this shit perfected by 3rd grade.
A creepy dude (who I’ve never met because it’s a friend-of-a-friend kind of thing) (and who I, by the way, find hysterical in a very dry sense of humor kind of way) I’m friends with on Facebook plastered this bad boy on his wall this morning.
I kissed my monitor. With tongue:
(Funniest Web site. On. The. Earth.)
If you have read even 4 words of any post I have ever written…you will absolutely, without a doubt agree that I should be sitting in that chair.
Holding that glass of wine. (We both know that’s champagne but well, this is my blog and it can be a turd if that’s what I want.)
Except in high heels.
With shiny-fied lips from the hot lipgloss I sport.
(And let’s be honest. If that WAS me in that chair with wine and high heels and lipgloss, and that pic was taken this week…I’d be in fat yoga pants and a pizza stained t-shirt.)
(And bedheaded up hair.)
(Cause I’m on vacation.)
(And I pretty much suck about right now and am quite happy about that.)
And that year wouldn’t be 2013…but more like 1984.
Cause that’s about the year I discovered dicking around and have since perfected it.
However, I am not quite sure I have ever used that term.
I mean, I know what it is, I do it 14 out of 24 hours (because I’m sleeping the other 10), I live for it…I just never knew what to refer to it as.
I don’t feel like writing right now and you do not want a video of me.
Trust me. I should be ashamed.
But I’m not.
I’m on vacation.
So, avoiding all sappiness and mushy-feeling stuff…thank you.
Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for laughing at me. Thank you for just laughing.
Thank you for dicking around with me.
I have more than loved coming to know so many of you and the only thing I would change if I could…is that we’d be sitting in a little quaint piano bar, drinking some of the best wine around, laughing way too loud, requesting the piano player to give us some Tiny Dancer.
Then some Benny and the Jets.
Then some Dancing Queen.
Then some Copacabana.
Then some Shower the People You Love with Love.
And all the other patrons in that little quaint piano bar would be saying, “Look at all those people dicking around over there.”
And I would smile.
(But my hair would be shampooed.)
I look forward to many more laughs and knowing more of you in 2012.
And if that’s considered a resolution…then so be it.