February 2012

A Butt-cut and a Watusi. And I don’t even know what a watusi is.

February 28, 2012

Let me tell you something. I don’t know much, but I do know one thing. Girlfriends you can get catty, down and dirty with are the best. Every Monday night at 6:58 pm, you will find me hurdling my sofa like a 6th grade track star.  Headed straight to my recliner. Remote in one hand. [...]

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Let’s see…I’m a douchebag and I suck at math. Yeah, that about sums it up.

February 24, 2012

You gotta admit, we all have these guilty pleasures and things in life we just can’t help but love. You might not admit it, but you secretly love it. Like, some can’t help but love Twilight. Some can’t help but love Snooki. Some can’t help but love prunes. Well, I’ve never hidden the fact that [...]

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I shouldn’t out people like this, but we all gotta fall sometimes.

February 22, 2012

  Here.  Read it for yourself. Sweet, sweet Kristy. I’m sorry I laughed. (Not really.) OK, I’m sorry that I’m not sorry that I laughed. (Yes really.)

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I kinda felt like a referee at a never-ending press conference.

February 17, 2012

“I call shotgun.” “No fair.  Aunt Carrie she always gets the front.” “Move your seat up, Stupid!  You’re crushing my foot!” “You’ve had the iPad long enough.  Give it to me, it’s my turn.” “Put it baaaack!  That was my favorite song!” (It was then…and only then:  My nieces agreed on something.) (And that was [...]

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If it’s gotta be said, well I’m your girl.

February 11, 2012

Below is just a random sampling of stuff that’s left my mouth this week. Some of it was said at the work joint, some said to friends, some said to family, some said to my shrink and some said to just me. (Cause, let’s face it.  Sometimes, I’m really the only one that listens to [...]

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Dance? Oh, I’ll dance. Just not before 10:00 am.

February 6, 2012

I’m way past the point in life to where I envy much. Or anyone. Or anything. Except for those damn women who can eat like a linebacker and yet somehow still stay a size 6. Without ever breaking a sweat.  Ever. Anyhow. I’m not a morning person.  I live alone.  And even when I was [...]

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In a perfect world, I’d be hairless and always have gas.

February 1, 2012

I begged. I mean beggggged to shave my legs when I was young. Could not wait to sit in that tub and run that fancy schmancy razor right up my fuzzy little 8 year old legs. (I was so advanced for my age.  In this area only.  Don’t ask about school or terrorizing a little sister [...]

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