A Butt-cut and a Watusi. And I don’t even know what a watusi is.

February 28, 2012 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.,Me and My Public Self

Let me tell you something.

I don’t know much, but I do know one thing.

Girlfriends you can get catty, down and dirty with are the best.

Every Monday night at 6:58 pm, you will find me hurdling my sofa like a 6th grade track star.  Headed straight to my recliner.

Remote in one hand.

iPhone in the other.

(Not cute.  Trust me.)

(The hurdling part.)

And I log on to Twitter.

(Which I did NOT like, understand, believe in, feel warm and fuzzy about or waste my time with 3 months ago.)

(God help your soul if you call during that time.)

(The folks included.)

Anyway.

I log on and find my girls.

My Bachelor Love Shits.

(I’m sure they could come up with a snazzier name for us but I can’t think right now.  I’m hungry.)

There are 7 of us and most of the time we have wine.  Or something adulty and alchoholicky.

And we do our best to follow Connie’s Bachelor Drinking Game Rules for that night’s episode.

(But really…after a glass or two, who goes by any rules?)

(Because women tend to just make up the rules as they go.)

We have big group conversations and little mini-conversations.

(Or as much of a conversation as you can with 140 characters.)

(And in my world, a space or comma or exclamation should not be a character.)

Here’s just a teensy bit of the catty, giggly girl-talk that goes on for 2 solid hours.

I’m sure after 714 seasons, you’ve heard of this hideous show.

We all agree that Ben, this years bachelor, has a butt-cut.

We all hate his hair.  And God knows how important good hair is to women on their men.

And then well, as the wine or adulty alcholicky drinks flow…we get on a roll.

And we take our Bachelor shit serious.

As those heavenly 2 hours go on…we can kinda get a little catty.

(But really?  There’s wine and women.)

Yep…I might as well just drag a hot pink porta-potty right into my living room.

The laughs and giggles fear no commercial breaks.

And I usually always learn something from these great girls.  And this last Bachelor gathering…it was a new word.

Watusi.

(That just sounds friggin awesome.)

And I’m not even sure what it is.  But I don’t care.  I’m using it.

Quite regularly, I might say.

Never in my life did I think I would look so forward to seeing a butt-cut every Monday night.

But I do.

As long as I have these girls right there with me.

And as long as there are single people in this world willing to sell their souls for a little bit of fame (and ABC is willing to pimp them out), I’ll hurdle that sofa on Monday nights.

With my wine.

To settle in for 2 hours of some of the best girl-talk and giggles.

They are total love shit to me.

Total.

Find us on Twitter each Monday night.

And find them here:

Iris – The Bearded Iris

Connie – The Young and The Relentless

Jeanne – Inside NanaBread’s Head

Kristy – Living Life (Un)simply

Kirsten – Comfortably Domestic

Denisha – You’ll just have to say ‘hey’ to her here.

So, until next Monday night…here’s to butt-cuts, watusi’s and good old-fashioned love shit!

ConnieWeiss February 28, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I love you gals so much!! I just wish I wasn’t an hour behind.

My burning question for tonight is….how can a model have such shitty hair?
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Carrie February 28, 2012 at 9:41 pm

OK, you’re a way deeper thinker than me. My burning question is how do I not run out of wine?

I need to step it up.

Jamie February 28, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Bahahahahaha!! Those tweets are hysterical! I hate his hair, too. He’s so cute, but that hair is horrible. Horrible!
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 8:18 am

His hair is pretty much the highlight of the show.

Because his personality sho ain’t.

Kristy February 28, 2012 at 10:37 pm

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! When you break it down like this.. we some funny a$$ women!! LOL

Tomorrow… I’M FEATURING YOUR POST!! This is down right funny!!! LOVE it… and you!

Signed,
Your love shit.
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 8:28 am

I ain’t kidding…I laugh at us more than I do those damn women on TV.

There’s just something really fun about girl-talk when there are no boys around.

There are only certain times you can get away with saying vagina, watusi and meat suite in the same conversation and get away with it.

And yes. Monday nights at 7:00 is that time!!

Love you!

Kirsten February 28, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Carrie, I don’t think I’ve ever Love Shitted you more than I do in this moment. (Now that we have new verbage. I think it might take off.) I was seriously not even going to watch the Bachelor this season because Ben, although a cutie-patootie, has a smack-dab part that is a little unnerving. And that C girl is scary. But you girls make me hurdle my couch every week, too. And I don’t hurdle anything unless it’s for chocolate.

What ever will we do on Monday nights After the Final Rose? We might have to switch to The Voice & stalk (I mean love) Blake Shelton.

You girls ROCK!
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 8:20 am

I know…I swear I look more forward to yacking with ya’ll than the actual show!

And I’m serious…if my phone rings during that 2-hours, the caller can tell by my voice now ain’t the time to be calling to chat.

Love shit is a pretty good little term. I’m kinda liking it, too.

Blog Wobble February 29, 2012 at 12:45 am

LOL priceless!
Wish I could join in but it’s not playing here in Australia…. bummer.
Looks like fun 😀
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 8:22 am

Aside from the fun back and forth banter on Twitter…I’d say COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!

The show is like crack.

I swear EVERY year I’m not watching. And I didn’t this year until about the 3rd or 4th week because I got all hooked up with these girls!

(Yeah. I’m gonna blame them. It sounds better!)
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Barbara February 29, 2012 at 6:35 am

You Bachelor girls crack me up! I have never seen that show for more than 5 minutes. Maybe I will try to watch the next one.
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 8:23 am

I’m telling you…the show is so unrealistic and “out there” it’s hard to turn away.

Every week is like watching and waiting on that train wreck to happen.

And surprise, surprise…it ALWAYS happens.

Iris February 29, 2012 at 8:56 am

I loveshit you so hard I want to take you out back behind the 7-11 and have your loveshit baby.

I am totally with you on our little tweet fest being the best part of Monday night. I love your description about hurdling the couch! I so get that. I start my kids’ bedtimes at 7 PM sharp here on Mondays and am not ashamed to tell them that I need to be on the couch by 7:55 so brush those teeth a little faster, Missy!

And as for that watusi thing, gah – I am truly an old soul I guess, because I am only 41, but I do love me some Land of 1000 Dances! I’m going to post a video of a watusi on my FB page. I’d do it here, but I’m afraid it will get marked as spam. Go watch it! XO
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 10:51 am

I KNOW! I don’t even have kids and my whole life shuts down when I hear, “This week…on The Bachelor…” in that sultry Chris Harrison-y voice!

My mom made the mistake of calling one Monday night. I answered screaming, “Do you not remember what tonight is??”

She hung up.

I’m just going to assume I’m still in the will.
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Nisha February 29, 2012 at 9:04 am

I started a blog….2 actually, but I suck at keeping up with it. So I’ll just read all my Bachelor Babes blogs. Thanks for including me! Monday nights are precious to me and the only night if the week my husband knows not to interrupt me and takes care of the toddler. Lol. Gotta love a man who understands when I reach for my blackberry and the remote!

Carrie February 29, 2012 at 9:12 am

Start keeping that thing up, girl!

Now see. THAT is a good man. Taking care of the baby while momma drinks and trash talks with other women. What a man.

I love him already.

Robbie February 29, 2012 at 9:27 am

If I watched that show ya’ll would be my people to watch it with. I just can’t bring myself to watch reality tv. Sorry. Don’t hate me.
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 9:38 am

I say that every year. I’m not watching, not watching, not watching.

But before you know it…I’m seeing a helicopter take off with a douche bag and some chick in it, then they’re jumping off some cliff in a country I’ve never heard of then, oh look! Dinner on the beach with a perfect table setting and not a soul around!

Yeah. I’d be better off smoking crack.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell February 29, 2012 at 10:29 am

I’m doing all the talking but I’m usually not tweeting during the show. Darn it! You guys are fun and mean and fun! Love it!
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 10:50 am

Girl, jump in next Monday with us! It’s the After the Rose show. And I am SICK that Whoreteney won’t be there.

I probably won’t be doing that much tweeting from all the barfing I’ll be doing instead.

wendy February 29, 2012 at 1:49 pm

i’ve never been a “bachelor” girl, ms. carrie, but i have to tell you that i have managed to catch some of your twitter leavings the day-after one of your tweet-fests with your girls, and you have actually succeeded in sending me scrambling to the internet for some images of the subjects of your running commentary. and that”s saying something.

you make me laugh, funny girl (or, in this case, maybe i should say girls? : )
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 2:12 pm

You know, just last night I tweeted to them I wasn’t all excited about the Bachlelorette coming up.

But you watch. I’ll be perched right up in my chair on Monday nights.

I’m glad you get laughs out of our commentaries…it’s a hoot! And jump in anytime!!
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Jennifer February 29, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I don’t watch. I just wait for Connie’s updates because they are the best thing ever. Like good gossip.
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Girl, if you think Connie’s updates are good…you should see her in action.

It’s ridiculous how I won’t even look at the TV for over 5 minutes for reading tweets about what is on the screen directly in front of my face.

Ree-diculous.
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Maggie S. February 29, 2012 at 4:28 pm

A Watusi can be a bull or a dance. I guess Iris was referring to the dance. But I didn’t see the show and don’t know if the Motherland is Cattle Country.

I was jealous of all the fun you guys had Monday. But I freeze up when I get on Twitter. I can’t think of anything cute at all.
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 5:59 pm

No, no, no…no jealousy allowed!!

Next Monday night if you’re own, let me know!! Believe me, Twitter ain’t about saying anything cute…especially on Monday nights!

Next Monday night…k?

Maggie S. February 29, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I’ll try.
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Maggie S. February 29, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I hate his hair. What is he? 9 years-old?
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Carrie February 29, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Grrrl…puh-leez.

What’s really funny is when we see him tweet back about his ‘do.

I think he’d rather keep it like it is just for attention purposes than change it up and be a tad bit hip.

Maggie S. February 29, 2012 at 8:29 pm

he tweets back about his hair? yech.
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kika March 1, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Oh my lanta, if I had a quartah for every time I heard someone talking about that show I”d be one rich mama. I haven’t watched it yet, I know can you believe it? I must be missing out on something MAJOR! lol, but I’m LOVING this little girl night talk/chat/tweet you have going on! how awesome!
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Carrie March 1, 2012 at 8:15 pm

I swear every time a new one comes on, I’m not doing it.

But I do.

If you decide to jump off the deep end, you can always find us girls on Twitter each Monday night! Join in!

Fashionista Era March 2, 2012 at 5:31 am

HAHAHHA!!1 awsujmmmm write up, and its hilarious as always honey. i agree about the skirts comments. the girls today seem to have almost NOTHING on and i cant figure it out. dOes hotness relate to juss literally wearing next to nothing to get some attention. ijust dont understand! love your twitter comments 😉

honey. thanks for your sweet comments always in my ‘you’re tagged’ post. Your super special and to call me angel just makes me light up!!! i so so am touched that you write such lovely things about me and it touches my soul really. bless you darling always. biggest hugs!!
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Carrie March 2, 2012 at 9:03 am

Meant every word. You’re a charm to read and your passion and personality shine with every post you write.

You’re pretty wise beyond your years…and in todays world, that’s a really good thing.

=)

Fashionista Era March 2, 2012 at 9:07 am

awww blushing now…turning red. In return you should know, when someone identifies good things in others, its a reflective of how fantastic they are!

So Im here to tell you – YOUR PRETTY FANTASTIC TO KNOW 😉 Stay the same always. Your a once in a lifetime kind of person hun :))
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Bonnie March 2, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Loving this post. You have said basically everything I have been thinking.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
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Carrie March 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I am SO glad to see we’re not the only ones feeling this way!

I could just never, ever go on national TV and make such an ass of myself.

Apparently, doing it by blog is ok though.

=)

Bella March 3, 2012 at 1:09 pm

HAHA! Had to know what Watusi meant.

Looked it up.

Watusi [wəˈtuːzɪ], Watutsi [wəˈtʊtsɪ]
n pl -sis, -si
(Social Science / Peoples) a member of a cattle-owning Negroid people of Rwanda and Burundi in Africa

WTF? LMAO.
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Carrie March 3, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Now, see?!? THAT was the first definition I ran across, too!

But, it’s also a dance.

A dance, I might add, that appears to require much more energy than I have to do.

Jessica March 3, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I always have to avoid Twitter on Monday while the show is actually airing because of your comments. LOL I have basketball practice that night, so I come home and watch my DVR recording, always about 2 hours behind. SO…it’s then I scroll back through my tweets, find where you start, and then roll up slowly as the show progresses to see what you said about which parts. Love the read. Thanks!
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Regina March 3, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I think the Bachelor is your crack, or possibly butt crack girlie. lol.

I followed it a few times and always got frustrated that they picked the wrong person. But glad you have found that wine makes it fun with your pals!

Regina
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Felicia March 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

So THIS is the convo I stumbled across last night on Twitter! I was seriously cracking up at your comments and have never seen a single episode of that show. You ladies ought to have your OWN show.
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Carrie March 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Girl, I don’t know how my bladder would handle it if we were all in the same room! I laugh more than I watch the show sometimes!

Maren March 7, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I’ve watched the 6-7 last seasons, and I am just as frustrated every time. WHY did he send the nice ones home and keep that Courtney chick? Ugh!
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Kat1e March 13, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I’m not gonna lie. The Bachelor is one of my guiltiest pleasures……and your twitter rants are right there with it! :)…..I’m already looking fwd to next season! Ps. I told someone just today that I dont like it when ppl blow up twitter (for example during the debates) but I had to mention that I am totally ok with you tweeting like crazy during the Bachelor….because that’s funny. :)
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Carrie March 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm

HAHA!! I know. I’m stupid with it.

But it’s only on Monday nights.

I had someone call me about 38 minutes ago and say, “Did you really watch 3 hours of The Bachelor last night?”

My reply? “HELLZ YEAH. And I tweeted my ass off the whole time.”

If I don’t get a life soon, somebody is gonna get hurt. Probably me…but somebody, never the less.

Holly from 300 Pounds Down March 14, 2012 at 10:09 am

Well how about that?? I am utterly devastated I was unaware of this prior to the finale. Because I take my bachelor serious too!! I also watch Survivor and Big Brother so if you have any more wine twitter parties regarding those shows please let me know. I will most assuredly purchase a hot pink portapotty for the occasion!!!!
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Carrie March 14, 2012 at 10:15 am

Sister…YOU GOT IT!

I’ve never done Survivor or Big Brother…but won’t turn my nose up at a chance to giggle and snort and tweet with a bunch of girlfriends!

Karyn March 15, 2012 at 7:59 pm

So we don’t have that show on here in Oz (at least not that I know of) and so I did a google search of “Ben the bachelor” to see what he looked like. The first result that came up was, ‘s Ben the Worst Bachelor Ever?’

“Apparently Carrie and her horde of screaming estrogen think so” I mumbled to myself. Then I clicked on the link. Ewww! What’s with that hair? Don’t those shows have hair and makeup people to make your reality people look better than everybody else?

I expect that kind of unattractiveness on Australian TV. What with our low population and even lower reality TV budgets, pretty much everyone is ugly (otherwise known as ‘everyday chic’.

But the USA? EVERYONE on TV looks fabulous in the USA! The Bachelor is slumming, and you girls need to kick up a stink so the next one is nothing less than Ken-like.
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Carrie March 16, 2012 at 8:15 am

Girl…I’m telling you, this was the first year I got THAT into it. And if it wasn’t for the giggly girls on Twitter…he would have bored me out about week 2.

The US boys really need to represent in the future.

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