I kinda felt like a referee at a never-ending press conference.

February 17, 2012 in Crap I Was Considerate Enough to Not Bother You with Before Now.,Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

“I call shotgun.”

“No fair.  Aunt Carrie she always gets the front.”

“Move your seat up, Stupid!  You’re crushing my foot!”

“You’ve had the iPad long enough.  Give it to me, it’s my turn.”

“Put it baaaack!  That was my favorite song!”

(It was then…and only then:  My nieces agreed on something.)

(And that was to the words to some completely non-understandable hip hop song on the radio that I refused to admit to being too un-hip to rap with them.)

(So, I faked it.)

(But I do know it was Pitbull.  I am certainly hip enough to know that much.)

(However, they couldn’t compete with me when I was their age and I busted out the following [in the way-back-back seat of a white, wood-paneled station wagon with exotic cerulean imitation leather, while I assembled my kids meal container that, with a couple of tucks here and folds there turned into a flying dragon, from Burger Chef]):

“I said a hip hop,
Hippie to the hippie,
The hip, hip a hop, and you don’t stop, a rock it
To the bang bang boogie, say, up jump the boogie,
To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat.”

All the while keeping impeccable rhythm.

With my neck grooves and head bobbing.

“Ooohhh, yeah!  And let’s get that veggie pizza you made us eat last time that SHEEEE said she wouldn’t like but she did.”

“Can we get cookie dough and eat it first?”

“Raw?”

And after we made it home, we piled up and ate some raw cookie dough by the spoonfuls while the veggie pizza cooked.

(Cause, I mean…we’re healthy like that.)

And watched two DVR’d episodes of Judge Judy.

“Man, she is old.”

“I like how she always tells the girls they don’t need to be giving the boys money.”

“Don’t she have any other shirts?  She wears that one every day.”

The night progressed and I somehow was able to prevent my living room floor from becoming a WWF ring.

I only had to bark out “GET IN THE SHOWER” about 417 times.

“I’m not in the shower YET!  I’m pooooopin’!”

“I know!  Use the blue bottle shampoo…I KNOW!”

“Tell her to bring me a towel!”

“Do I have to use conditioner??”

“Can you trim my bangs?”

“Aunt Carrie, I swear I smelled like bar-be-que sauce when I got in the shower.”

“My God, do you drink all this wine?”

“Why don’t you have food in your refrigerator?”

“Is there any more cookie dough?”

And we then saw there was enough cookie dough left to bake.

So, we did.

I loathe staying with Aunt Carrie. Help me.

Then they wanted milk.

Aunt Carrie is sheer misery. It's like a torture chamber here. Help.

And it was only after they had 2 glasses each that I giggled when I confessed it was soy milk.

And they both got big-eyed and froze.  In fear.

One grabbed the front of her neck.

One glared a freakish-devil glare at me.

Then they admitted it was good.

And asked for another glass.

(Big guts.)

It felt like a night of me being a referee at a never-ending press conference.

And as I get situated and sit at my computer to now talk to you, I hear a light rumble coming from the sofa.

This is what will happen to my two most favorite things in the world when they have cookie dough and pizza.

And soy milk.

And Aunt Carrie.

Maren February 18, 2012 at 7:30 am

I think you’re the best auntie. Ever. :)
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Carrie February 18, 2012 at 7:37 am

I sure know two little pizza-stuffed boneheads who better think that, too!

Thank you, girl!

Lisa Guedry February 18, 2012 at 7:55 am

You’re the coolest Aunt everrrrrrrr! Wanna come to Silsbee and stay with my two hell-cats while I go back to Austin and pretend to be you?

Carrie February 18, 2012 at 7:59 am

I don’t think you really want that.

I’ve already used the word Asshat and it’s not even 8:00 yet.

Out loud.

Chrissy February 18, 2012 at 8:03 am

Such a good aunt!!!! Makes me miss those times with my niece and nephew when they lived closer and were younger.

Thanks for sharing, looks and sounds like you ladies had a good night…

Carrie February 18, 2012 at 8:07 am

They are fun…but I’m not a morning person, so they were much more fun last night.

And if the little one says, “I wish we didn’t eat all that cookie dough” one more time…well, Asshat will be repeated.

Fashionista era February 18, 2012 at 10:08 am

aww what a fun time you seemed to have had. Oh I remember my naughty lil cousins when I took then to the mall and movie and they kept complaining they wanted to eat or do something or the other nonstop. Gosh, it was a nightmare but now when I look back I feel those are some of my favorite memories. They are innocent sweet and kind kids and always will be special now as they grow up and seems like ages ago that I has that kinda fun. Though at the time I wanted to kill them. Haha.

Carrie February 18, 2012 at 6:39 pm

It’s pretty amazing how they’re little pests one day then full-fledged grown the next.

Jessica February 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Oh I would have marched out on te soy milk. I refuse to switch to healthy!!! What a good aunt you must be, behind the stories of torture.
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Carrie February 18, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Jessica…you know me better than that. I don’t do soy for health reasons at all!

Nope. It’s because I don’t really like milk to drink but do need it around for cereal and cooking and stuff like that. (The little cooking I do that calls for milk.)

Anyway…it has like a 4 month expiration date when dairy milk has something like 7 days.

It’s completely for convenience reasons and so I’m not constantly pouring sour milk down the drain.

Not shocked at all now, are you? =)

Amanda February 19, 2012 at 10:38 pm

4 month expiration date?? You are a freaking genius! You’ve just changed my shopping plans.
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Carrie February 20, 2012 at 8:18 am

Uh, huh…not kidding either.

I got sick of paying for a gallon of milk then dumping 3/4 of the clumpy mess.

Clumpy, because I used it so little, I didn’t realize it was ever bad until I NEEDED it for something.

Now…I check the expiration on it and it pretty much says, “Bitch you still got me for another 3 months! Put me back in the door of that fridge!”

Jennifer February 18, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Raw pizza dough and veggie pizza is a totally balanced meal.

Carrie February 18, 2012 at 6:41 pm

The breakfast, lunch and dinner of champions.

Connie Weiss February 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm

What is pit bull?
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Carrie February 18, 2012 at 6:43 pm

A hot (ridiculously hot/sexy/scrumptious/yowzers cuban rapper) who is somehow involved in tons of top 40 music these days.

He sounds good…but I would SO rather just sit and stare at him.

Google his pic. Then enjoy.

Blog Wobble February 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Even once you are grown up you ALWAYS remember your favorite aunt/uncle!
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Carrie February 18, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I’ve been buying their loyalty for years now. I’m determined to win on this game!

Regina February 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Cudoos to you Carrie for being a most awesome auntie! They don’t realize how lucky they are to have a auntie like you. Enjoy making memories with them!
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Carrie February 18, 2012 at 6:45 pm

We do have lots of fun. The older they’re getting the crappier attitudes they’re getting…but it’s that pre-teen stuff. And I remember how miserable it can be.

That’s why I let them do all kinds of stuff their momma reems me for later.

Regina February 18, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Love it! I had an aunt who took me to Florida once year. It was my first flight. I remember it well. Enjoy making memories with them!
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Joan @chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate February 18, 2012 at 8:53 pm

You got off so easy, haha.

Oh and just a side note-don’t ever try to sneak that soy crap off on me, I want the real stuff when I finally come to visit. Maybe with a little Kahlua in it or maybe a lot.
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Carrie February 18, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Listen. There are several I wouldn’t dare even stand in the kitchen with, much less offer anything to! For I would be totally out of my league in their presence in that room.

And YOU are absolutely right at the top of that list!

If you and I are ever standing together in a kitchen, I can assure you…I will be frozen in fear.

=)

Lori February 18, 2012 at 9:50 pm

ha ha ha ha ha ha i love you Carrie

you evil soy milk maker drinker person you

(confession here i LIKE soy milk)
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Carrie February 18, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I will admit, the looks I got: Priceless.

But for me…it ain’t about being healthy. It’s all about that 3 month expiration date.

I have no shame, sister. No shame at’all.

Lori February 18, 2012 at 10:12 pm

hey ya gotta do what cha gotta do.

i love it.

Actually i truly adore soy milk in coffee, it’s FANTASTIC

i do hope you got pictures of the expressions, cause that’s pure gold
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Linda @ My Name is Momma February 19, 2012 at 9:37 am

You can be my aunt. Can you come and pick me up RIGHT.NOW???? I am ready to get the heck out of dodge.

Carrie February 19, 2012 at 11:24 am

I’ll have to stop and get more cookie dough first.

I held back on one small little bite of it not going in the oven. You know, for later. And for me.

And I just ate it.

Don’t judge.

=)

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell February 19, 2012 at 12:42 pm

You’re the best aunt ever!!!! And that rap you know is the same one my brother can recite top to bottom. He makes me laugh every time he does it.

But the raw cookie dough…ook.

Carrie February 19, 2012 at 1:06 pm

So then, YOU’RE not the only hip one in your family?

Nice.

And yes…I could probably give your brother a run for the money on it. And I should probably not be quite so proud of that.

The Mother Freakin' Princess February 19, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Love it! I’d like to spend a night with Aunt Carrie! Of course we’d drink wine instead of soy milk, but we’d still eat the cookie dough 😉
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Carrie February 19, 2012 at 2:24 pm

You know it!

And bring your tiara and pink hair dye.

Cause a party ain’t a party till I do something on the weekend that make me totally out of dress code for work on Monday morning!!

Love!

Bella February 19, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Aww! You’re a wonderful Aunt!
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Carrie February 19, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Goodness knows I try.

But on the flip side, there’s something so priceless about hearing my sister say the next day, “Uh, where did they learn the word jerkweed?”

They haven’t yet grasped that words they say during time with Aunt Carrie needs to stay with time with Aunt Carrie.

Joanna February 19, 2012 at 10:42 pm

They don’t know how good they got it! I don’t have cool aunts. My kids don’t have cool aunts. 2 worthless uncles – 1 from each side. So tell them there are starving people in this country who don’t have a cool aunt.
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Carrie February 20, 2012 at 8:10 am

Starving people in this country who don’t have a cool aunt.

Friggin awesome.

I WILL for sure utter those very words to my girls today. Count on it.

Amanda February 19, 2012 at 10:45 pm

You’re a fantastic auntie!! Any chance you’d like to take my boys for an over night trip? They might destroy your house and eat all of the food in your kitchen, but it’ll just give you a good reason to deep clean and go grocery shopping. And with you doling out veggie pizza and cookie dough, I know they’ll get in all of their important vitamins! haha! Sounds like a good time was had by all.
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Carrie February 20, 2012 at 8:12 am

Send’em over. I’ll have to come up with a word for boy parts though. I always tell my nieces to make sure they get their ladybits clean when in the shower.

Since I have no nephews, I’ve never had to worry about what to call’em for boys.

And I’m not certain boybits sound all that masculine.

Barbara February 20, 2012 at 6:42 am

How funny!!!

Thanks for stopping by TBB yesterday! I am having feedburner issues but if you unsubscribe and re-subscribe using the orange RSS button it should work. I have an issue where if someone subscribes just by typing in “theboldblend.com” it looks like you are subscribed but it doesn’t update. I hope to figure it out someday!
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Carrie February 20, 2012 at 8:14 am

That’s exactly what I did. Unsubscribed then re-subscribed through your orange button.

(Wow. Like THAT doesn’t sound perverted.)

Anyway…it then told me I had like 10 unread posts….so I think I’m all set now!

Yay me!

jennie February 20, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Sounds like a wonderful night that only an Aunt can provide.
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Carrie February 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Yep…an aunt or a glutton for punishment.

Which are sometimes, one in the same. =)

Young American Wisdom February 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

You are, hands down, the most bestest Aunt ever in the whole wide world cross my heart hope to die!

Raw cookie dough…every child’s dream come true. And you didn’t even threaten the possibility of salmonella poisoning. Well done, sista!

Carrie February 21, 2012 at 6:48 am

Neeeeeever thought about salmonella.

I think I might have dropped a rank or two in the Best Aunt Category.

Karyn February 20, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Nice, being an aunt is the best, all the fun and none of the crap! Love it.
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Carrie February 21, 2012 at 6:47 am

You know it! All I gotta do is play and get in some sort of trouble with their mom then send’em on home!

Susan February 21, 2012 at 8:03 am

Too cute!

Carrie February 21, 2012 at 8:16 am

Thanks, Susan…and so glad you stopped by! =)
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Maggie S. February 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Of course, raw.

So much fun being an auntie. So different from being a mom…(please, not really fun most days), or a grandmother (gives not a shit how she spoils them). Auntie…loves the snot out of them, but knows if *GOD FORBID* anything happens she has to finish raising them and isn’t having them living with her because they are unable to keep a job. Fun. With better boundaries.

Just saying…my aunties were and still are the best relatives I have.
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Carrie February 22, 2012 at 9:36 am

You hit the nail on the head! Lots of fun and the boundaries are so much better!

Elaine February 22, 2012 at 9:24 am

Ah man, I’d be OUT too! Will you have me over for cookies and soy milk, please? 😉

You’re SUCH a good Auntie!! 😀
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Carrie February 22, 2012 at 9:38 am

Absolutely!!

BUT. You have to let me video YOU snoring on the couch, too.

(She was so ticked. Not that it went on my blog…but that it had to go on YouTube. 12 years old and livid that “somebody” might see her snoring on YouTube! Who the heck is this “somebody” I’d like to know?!?)
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