Let’s see…I’m a douchebag and I suck at math. Yeah, that about sums it up.

February 24, 2012 in Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

You gotta admit, we all have these guilty pleasures and things in life we just can’t help but love.

You might not admit it, but you secretly love it.

Like, some can’t help but love Twilight.

Some can’t help but love Snooki.

Some can’t help but love prunes.

Well, I’ve never hidden the fact that I love me some Snoop Dogg.

I don’t know why.

And really.  It’s not all that feasible that a 42 year-old white girl like a puff-puff-pass rapper she has not one thing in common with.

Nothing.

But I think I like the dude because he keeps it real.

Snoop does not care if you agree with him or like him or even know him…he’s gonna keep it real.

(Apparently we’re on first name basis.)

(Or at least I am.)

(To him, I’m probably just that honky white bitch that keeps tweetin’ him.)

Anyway.

Yes.  He’s got a song out:  Young and Wild and Free

And damn if it ain’t stuck right up in my grey matter.

(I do listen to some hip hop.  Don’t act like this shocks you.)

Aside from the toss-me-right-into-the-slammer-if-I’m-caught-doing-anything-mentioned-in-the-lyrics, it has a catchy little head-bobbing beat.

So, I’ve been head-bobbing.

And I’ve been rapping the hook of the song.

(Which is the same as the title.)  (Over and over and over…very rap-ish-like.)

And Facebooking.

Which, in an instance (or is it ‘instant’?) I proved…ain’t wise to do together.

I updated my status and straight-up proved how douchey I can apparently be without even trying:

And that, my friends…is where the sucking at math comes in.

(Go on.  I know some of y’all are gonna have to read it again.)

Secrets out:  I can’t count.

(Obviously.)

And that smartness just oozes.  Especially when I’m in public.

However, in the state of mind Snoop stays in…he would have never noticed.

Or called me out on it.

And that’s just one more reason I love me some Snoop Dogg.

Don’t hate.

Or judge.

Or puff-puff-pass.

Amanda February 24, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I love hip-hop and rap too! It sounds a bit weird coming out of my suburban, almost middle aged momma vehicle and every once in a while, I have to turn the station when the boys start singing some questionable lyrics, but I love hip-hop and rap!
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Carrie February 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I KNEW I couldn’t be alone on this!

I listen to a huge variety of music, but I do like to, every now and then, pretend to have some rhythm and some hipness to me.

And in my car…Nikki Minaj ain’t got nothing on me.

However, that is ONLY in my car. With all 4 windows up and sealed tight.

Amanda February 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Yeah, in my car, I sing like Beyonce and Adele and Pitbull and so many others, but only in my car and only when I’m alone. When I’m cruel enough to sing with the husband or boys in the car, they loudly tell me that I am not musically gifted.

I think they are all evil and mean.
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Blog Wobble February 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

LOL girl you never fail to put a smile on my face!
Who cares if it was 1/3 or not, that shit happens to all of us :D

And there is nothing wrong with a bit of Snoop Dogg!
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Carrie February 24, 2012 at 10:20 pm

I agree! I think we probably all have a touch of rapper-ness in us.

Especially when no one else is around!

Reese February 25, 2012 at 12:31 am

Rap is not my cup of tea. I like rock n’ roll, I do. But like you I happen to like Snoop, too. Since I was in highschool because I like how laidback he is and how he has his own distinct style that seems to cross boundaries. Many times he has collaborated with musicians I listened in my teens.
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Carrie February 25, 2012 at 11:16 am

And that’s another thing…Snoop can be pretty easy to work with.

(Again. I act like I know firsthand.)

Becca February 25, 2012 at 1:20 am

there is no shame in liking Snoop. I heard him on someone’s song the other day and impressed my friend in the car that I recognized his voice. Who doesn’t recognize his voice? lol
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Carrie February 25, 2012 at 11:17 am

EXACTLY! He’s like the George Strait of the rap world!

(Not sure George would appreciate this comparison, but I’m fairly certain George ain’t reading this either.)

Barbara February 25, 2012 at 5:15 am

Love it! Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head! It’s catchy!
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Carrie February 25, 2012 at 11:18 am

See?? Snoop is kind of addicting!!

I think as long as we just stay addicted to Snoop and not so much of what Snoop is addicted to, we’re probably doing ok.

Speaking for myself, anyway.

Fashionista Era February 25, 2012 at 5:36 am

i love snoop as well!! hes got some awsum lyrics! :) love his style!! hes great…!! and i love my twilight hehehe…total addict..ive tagged you on my post today! :D lemme see if gonna do it ;) wink wink!!
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Carrie February 25, 2012 at 11:19 am

Girl, now I feel supremely hip if YOU, too, like Snoop!!

You’re such a love…tag away. I am totally flattered. You have no idea!

Chrissy February 25, 2012 at 7:35 am

Girl or homie … lol I have I too lo e me some good hip hop and rap at times. I tellthe hubby that it’s because of the Zumba class that I take…

Sometimes you just need to get funky and get in to it. BTW we love that you can’t add… :-)

Carrie February 25, 2012 at 11:20 am

Uh, huh…I’m pretty elated the focus here in the comments are more on the love of Snoop rather than my mathematical skills.

Oh, I can spell it…just don’t ask me to add it!

(Or subtract it.)

(Or divide it.)

(Or mult….well, you get it.)

Sarah February 25, 2012 at 7:35 am

Didn’t you ever see Peyton Manning do the joke-“There are three kinds of people-those that are good at math and those that aren’t” Ok. I thought it was funny and a little appropriate in this forum.
And I have to admit it to you I too have been known to turn up a bit of the Snoop now and again and do a little rapping in my hair brush. I think I look pretty cool. Reality thinks I am a dorky old white woman who just likes to swear and is using this forum to do so. I spit in reality’s face.
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Carrie February 25, 2012 at 11:23 am

YES!! I rap in the hair brush, too!! As well as my hairspray can.

And ain’t it funny how the more your jut your neck back and forth, the better you sound?

Odd, I know.

I HAVE heard that joke and THAT IS PERFECT FOR ME! You kinda know me a little too well!

Jennifer February 25, 2012 at 10:59 am

I’m so uncool… because I didn’t understand half of what you said. But the Facebook conversation.. i LOVE when shit like that happens! It’s such a public little giggle (and yes, it often happens to me too). It’s funnier when it’s someone else, though.
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Carrie February 25, 2012 at 11:24 am

Well, I will admit, ol’Snoop ain’t for everyone. And that’s ok.

Hell…my music taste run from Snoop to Barry Manilow to Beyonce to Lynyrd Skynyrd. I’m all over the place.

D'Anna Lundstrom February 25, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Carrie,
Do you watch the new reality show on Friday nights, Sweet Home Alabama? Kind of like a southern version of The Bachelor. A perfect guy on there for you this season-Shawn Bigos?? from New York. You would have to watch whole season to understand and appreciate why.-:) Maybe a stalking trip to NY is in order!

Carrie February 25, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Ooohhh…never seen it, but will certainly have to check it out!

A stalking trip to NYC is right up my alley. Hell, I can stalk most anywhere to be honest with you.

Connie Weiss February 25, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Snoop Dog huh?
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Carrie February 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Yep…ol’Snoop.

A Boy's Mom February 26, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Ok.

It took me like three tries to find the math error.
Good thing I teach Language Arts.

Snoop Dog?

Only you can pull that off gracefully :)
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Carrie February 26, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Believe me. When I first saw that first comment on FB, I was like, “WTH does he mean by that?!?”

Then. Oh.

Chantelle February 26, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I hadn’t listened to snoop in a long time. Takes me back. I also like Barry Manilow. I loved him as a kid even. I write the songs that make the whole world sing….. I think that was my favorite.
I could easily see me doing that facebook math flub too. I hate math.
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Carrie February 26, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I could sing Barry Manilow all day.

BARRY – I’d go see.

SNOOP – Not so much.

I feel much, much safer far away from Snoop. It’s just his “I don’t give a rats ass” attitude I can appreciate it.

wendy February 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

you tweet snoop dog — like, on an ongoing basis? i cannot TELL you how liberating i find this to be. twitter is still kind of kicking my ass. it feels like high school a little to me — like there are cool kids talking to each other and i don’t know how i’m supposed to break in…or even if i want to. the idea of you tweeting snoop just for the hell of it — you know, when you’re white girl self thinks of him and wants to give him a shout — makes me deeply happy.

(you are an inspiration, ms. carrie. i’m off now to tweet fareed zakaria a message of my personal admiration for him : )
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Carrie February 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Oh, now don’t put me real high up there…I said I “tweet” him. Never said he replies.

But hellz yeah…I @snoopdogg enough to where the day is coming I’m gonna get a return tweet! I’m gonna wear him down just so he’ll shut me up!

Or get a restraining order against me.

Jennifer February 27, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I think it is awesome that someone as straight up gangster as snoop has managed to be so mainstream… or liked so much by the mainstream. I’m pretty sure it’s because he keeps it real. That’s the same reason people like me. ;)
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Carrie February 27, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I totally agree. 100%.

However, I will have to step in should you decide to go with his hair-do. I’m gonna have to draw the line somewhere.

Maggie S. February 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Which begs the question: Which one? I didn’t doubt your math, I just figured you counted yourself 2 of the three. For example, I, next to Betty White, might consider myself young. and HTF old is Snoop Dogg anyway? So then, perhaps you are feeling particularly wild at any given moment? And free, itself, can have a variety of meanings. So you can be free as in “available for coffee”; as in, “liberated from bondage”; or perhaps, free as in, “She charges for catering; I will make dinner for free.”

I didn’t judge. Mr. Mustache probably knows you a lot better than I do, but really it could be that you are 1:3, 2:3, or 3:3. Math sucks. This is why my girls and I fight about why they have to learn Algebra.
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Carrie February 27, 2012 at 3:38 pm

HAHAHA!!! How amazing is it that ALL of that made total sense to me?!?

And, trust me…you know me way better than you think. For some odd reason, I’m more “me” on my blog than I can sometimes be IRL.

I look at it this way….THIS is my place. I do it my way here. Everywhere else, I have to do it someone elses way or by their rules.

So, really…you know me. Which might at times, be quite unfortunate for you.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell February 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm

LOL, someone called you out. You’re cool even with less than stellar math skills. ;)
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Carrie February 27, 2012 at 3:40 pm

“Less than stellar” still makes it sound like I might could add.

God help us if a fraction is ever thrown in the mix.

I’d probably black out or something.

Maggie S. February 27, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Maggie S. February 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm

How are you a douchebag?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douchebag
(don’t miss the Barney pic.)

to be honest, while I understand it is derogatory, I haven’t ever really understood what it was describing differently than other excellent names already in the vernacular.

At any rate, I think you are pretty universally cool. Snoop would totally appreciate you.
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Carrie February 27, 2012 at 3:44 pm

THAT is the funniest thing I have ever in my life read!!

“Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole.”

I can’t read it without screaming! I HAVE TOTALLY SURPASSED THOSE LEVELS! And well, I quite fine with it, too.

And look at Barney…he’s passed those levels, too, I might add.

Maggie S. February 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I have always thought that about Barney. From. Day. One.
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Poppy February 28, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Pass me the fatty, I love me some Snoop Dog too (except when my 13 year old is singing).
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Carrie February 28, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Yeah, Snoop takes on a whole new meaning when a kid is rapping along.

But should Hank EVER start rapping, you MUST video it.

Without fail.

jennie February 28, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Carrie February 28, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Math never has been and never will be a strong side for me.

Ever.

Jessica March 3, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I love the image of you head bobbing to some rap! Admittedly, I have more than enough hip hop, R&B, and rap in my CD collection (dating myself since I don’t just call it my iTunes or whatnot), but those who don’t “know” my lifestyle and family style yet cannot comprehend my tastes. Once they meet the fam or see a photo or two, pieces start falling in place. :) From my experiences I learn not to judge too quickly….you never know who might turn up as a puff puff pass kinda person.
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Carrie March 9, 2012 at 8:30 am

Well, I don’t puff puff pass…but I sho do head bob along with those who do!!

For the length of the rap, I am totally hip.

Of course, that’s only in my head…but oh yeah, I am hip.

And you oughta see me go when I know the words and don’t have to make them up.

The Mother Freakin' Princess March 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm

<3 me some Snoop!
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Carrie March 9, 2012 at 8:30 am

Dude gets cooler the older he gets.

Bobbi March 9, 2012 at 12:29 am

I would so do this. Oh wait I probably already have.
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Carrie March 9, 2012 at 8:31 am

Uh, huh…no way can I be alone on this one! And thank you for that! =)

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