Being accepted just the way I am isn’t so SCARY after all…

I don’t remember why I even emailed her in the first place.  Probably just to thank her for being so “real.”

I never expected a reply.

I mean, really?  Like ‘she’ would have time to respond to ‘me’?

But she did.

SCARY.

To say I was shocked is putting it lightly.

I think I got a little dizzy and maybe even blacked-out for a few minutes.

(OK.  Maybe it was the wine.)

SCARY.

Then after a few emails back and forth, I opened one and read these words:

“You should guest post for me sometime.  The door is always open, and you know where to find me!”

(More wine.  Then a little more.  Oh, hell.  Fine.  It was a lot more.)

SCARY.

After a month or so, I thought…why not?

So, I emailed/pestered/stalked her again.

I told her I have never written for any one or any thing other than my own blog.  She said that wasn’t a requirement.

I told her I was not formally educated in writing.  She said that wasn’t a requirement.

I told her I didn’t have kids.  She said that wasn’t a requirement.

I told her I wasn’t going to HAVE kids.  She said that wasn’t a requirement.

Sweet Jesus, I did my best to find a reason for her to send me on my way!  But no.  She accepted me just the way I am.

SCARY.

A little time passes, I email her a post and was absolutely positive I’d never hear from her again.  Or maybe she’d email back asking that I make tons of changes to it, tell me I’m not funny, tell me to get a life, tell me to shut my blog down immediately.

Something along the lines of, “Oh, I’m sorry…but, you need to go.  Go away.  Far, far away.”

But no.

Instead, I get this:

“I love the way you write — it’s talk-writing, just like me– I always say I’m not a writer and people don’t get it. You do. ”

FUCKING NOT SO SCARY!

Once again, she accepted me just the way I am.

I confess.  Maybe I cried a little.  Maybe.  Nothing sappy or blubbery.  Because I don’t like to cry.  Or I don’t like to admit I cry.

I didn’t think it could get any better at this point.  She liked it and that was totally enough for me.  Actually more than enough.  I expected nothing more.

Then she emailed and asked if she could publish it on her blog on March 13.

BACK TO SCARY.

I got a little sappy again.

Because the following day would be March 14.

Which is my birthday.

And to be on Jill’s blog would be the absolute best birthday gift ever.

To be acknowledged by her, to be accepted by her and THEN to be splattered on her blog?

Just friggin’ wow.

Best day of my life.

For me, nothing equals love more than simply accepting someone just the way they are.

Not a better version.  Not a lesser version.  Just simply as they are.

And it’s something I do my very best to do every day of my life.  Oh, I fail all the time but then I remind myself of just how un-perfect I am and well…hang my head for a bit.  In shame.

(Because believe me…I am about as un-perfect as they come.  And I’m learning to live with that.)

So, Jill…from the very bottom of my heart, I thank you for accepting me just the way I am and finding me worthy of a spot on your blog.  Should I ever be a smidgen of the talk-writer you are, I will always pass the love along just as you do to your readers.  It does wonders for the soul.

Please consider jumping over to Jill’s blog  – Scary Mommy - to read my post.

(I can assure you I’ll be squeally and all giggly knowing you did.)

And consider clicking on my Amazon thing over there to the right and purchasing her book, Confessions of a ScaryMommy.

I'm miserably proud to wear this...and I'm not even a mommy. But it means a whoooole lot to me for a whoooole different reason.

I’ll finish this up by thanking all of you who are continuously laughing with me, making me laugh, supporting me and most of all…accepting me just the way I am.

It has taken me 43 years to find something I’m passionate about.  And to know each of you find me worthy of reading and are a part of my passion, makes it all that much sweeter.