I’ve apparently been really busy doing a lot of nothing this week. What a shock.

April 6, 2012 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

Where the hell have I been this week??

I look up and it’s Friday and I’m all, “Whaaaat??  It was just Sunday and I was eating cake at mom’s!  Now it’s Friday?!?”

Yeah.  Cake.  But not really.  But kinda really.

Mom made a cake.  Out of meatloaf.  I swear to you it HAD to be a Pinterest thing.  Had to be.

She kept saying, “I think we’re gonna eat dessert first today.”  And of course, my nieces were all over that shit.

And she pulls out this big round “cake” with what appeared to be white icing.

But no.

It was mashed potatoes.  On the meatloaf cake.

Yes, it was.

(I don’t know why I didn’t get a picture, either.)

(Probably due to the state of confusion I was in.)

(And state of pissiness I was in when I discovered it was not red velvet.)

However, it was pretty scrumpt.  But mom has always been a shorter, hotter version of Emeril.

(She could cook a shoe and you’d swear it was the best you’ve ever had.)

Let’s see….

Oh, I have 2 new additions to my cubicle at the work joint.

Along with my 6′ life-size stand-up of Captain Jack Sparrow, my 6′ life-size stand-up of Rhett and Scarlet, Beyonce’ my little metal chicken, my hot pink pageant sash with “Fabulous” on it, and a big, dumb stuff pillow fish (that was here long before me)…I have my 2 pink flamingos:

Look at those sweeeet babies!

 I mentioned on Facebook the other day how I love me some pink flamingos (don’t be acting all surprised) (and don’t hate)…

…and VOILA!

These just showed up in my cubicle.

Mysteriously.

(Even though I do think I know who left them.)

I love them.

(And so does Captain Jack and Rhett and Scarlet.)

(Scarlet probably a little more cause she’s a girl and all.)

(My cubicle is huge.  I could skate in that bad boy if I wanted.)

(And if I could skate.)

Anyway.

I also read a book.

In less than 18 hours.

Yes, I did.

I couldn’t put it down and I can’t talk about it much.  Or I’ll totally tell way too much for anyone who is reading it or might read it.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

(Oh.  My.  God.)

(I’m weak and dizzy and quivery just thinking about it.)

And that’s about all I can say about that.

Other than SWEET JESUS SOMEBODY FIND ME A MAN WHO WEARS HOT WORKOUT SWEATS LOW ON HIS HIPS AND NO SHIRT.

AND HAS GOOD HAIR!

(Actually…I do have more requirements but I just can’t say anymore or I’ll totally say too much!)

(So, stop reading this and move along or I’m gonna keep talking about it.)

And he flys a helicopter.

Ehem.

(It’s pure porn.)

(Girl porn.)

(And I’ve already pre-ordered the next two books in this trilogy.)

(I don’t know what a trilogy is.)

(But right now, I don’t friggin care.)

(I asked you to move along a few lines ago.)

(In my mind, Christian Grey is the hottest man to ever live between my ears.)

And of course, I had a little time to whip out the ol’Silly Putty this week.

And get a little arteeeestic on you.

No words necessary. I trust you know what this is.

 I know.

I have just been swamped with being busy this week.

(Stop thinking about that book!)

(Wait.  Nevermind.  It’s me…not you.)

Barbara April 6, 2012 at 10:51 am

That “cake” sounds good! Love your new office mates too. Always good to bring a little life and color to the workplace!!
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Carrie April 6, 2012 at 11:04 am

Yeah, my “real” office mates only WISH I was as quiet as these pink things.

Fashionista era April 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Wow! That book sounds good and go on hehe. Btw skating in your office space haha i wanna see you do that a nd post a pic. How cool, you can do it girl. Oh I know what you mean abt the book though, I’ve had those moments I wanna share abt a good book I read on the blog and realized my perspective might be completely different and someone might think “she actually likes that book?? What a loser” lol. So I enjoy Nora Roberts books, all lovey dovey and teenage like but I’m an oldie but still love reading them all the time! Heh
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Carrie April 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Oh, yeah…my cube is pretty gargantuan. I love it.

And believe me…the day my boss EVER lets me skate in it, you WILL get a pic!!

Connie Weiss April 6, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I started reading 50 Shades of Grey last week. I’ve been sneaking reading time here and there but haven’t been able to finish yet.

Then I was to that one part….the virgin part and Ana said something about Mr. Grey’s copper hair and now I’m now I’m picking Carrot Top. Sir.

It kind of ruined it for me and now I’m trying to imagine a that I didn’t read anything about copper hair.

I thought he was blonde.
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Connie Weiss April 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

ugh. i’m picturing Carrot Top. Not picking him. I wouldn’t pick him….for anything.
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Connie Weiss April 6, 2012 at 1:03 pm

And by *finish* I mean the book.

I can finish.

:)
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Carrie April 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm

HAHAAH!!!!

Yes. I knew what you meant.

Girl…he AIN’T Carrot Top. Not by a long shot.

In my mind, he’s like no man I’ve seen. Darker hair, totally sculpted.

Keep reading. Just keeeeep reading.

Maggie S. April 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm

OMG that’s the silly putty? When I saw it on fb, I thought it was a dinner roll in a non-stick pan.
I need a cubicle.

You, Friend, are funny as hell.
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Carrie April 6, 2012 at 1:53 pm

A DINNER ROLL?!? Ahhhh hahahaha!!!

That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day!!

I pretty much live in this cube. Only thing it’s missing is a hot pink porta-potty and a cot. And that’s only because the boss hasn’t thrown his hands up and screamed, “Shut up and just get it then!”

A dinner roll…OMG, that is the BEST!!

Karine April 6, 2012 at 6:56 pm

So you’re that crazy chick with all the weird stuff in her cubi… interesting… 😉 A meatloaf cake?!? That totally qualifies as Pinsanity, in my opinion… not that I know anything about Pinterest. Seriously, I don’t. Can barely understand Twitter and Facebook, so adding another social media is probably not the best idea. Ok, I’ll stop ranting now. Love the post! You very funny lady! (missing words intentional).

Karine April 6, 2012 at 7:01 pm

now that I’m thinking about it maybe going on Pinterest would be my cup of tea. It seems to be teeming with crazy people… just like me! Might feel at home there.

I even reply to my own long ass comments and leave another long ass comment. See, crazy.

Have a nice weekend!
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Carrie April 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

HA! Yep…that’d be me.

I’m with you…I’ve got Facebook down but I have to admit, Twitter sometimes throws me for a loop. Pinterest I just browse around on. Probably not doing that right, either.

The meatloaf cake (which those two words sound totally gross together) was good…but Pinsanity pretty much sums it up.

Karyn April 7, 2012 at 5:38 am

Reading your blog after another fab day in Sydney – how lucky am I?

Carrie April 7, 2012 at 6:14 am

That “fab day in Sydney” part is way, way cool.

Much like you. =)

Anne April 7, 2012 at 9:09 am

I keep hearing about that book but I haven’t read it yet. Everyone’s been raving about it!

Carrie April 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

Anne, I couldn’t put it down…but it is spicier than anything I’ve ever read. Pretty bold and well, spicy is probably a tame way to explain it.

Way too tame.

Michelle from The Sapphire Ridge Chronicles April 7, 2012 at 11:46 am

Well, that’s settled…I’m buying the book! I’ve heard the buzz about about it but wasn’t sure if I should get it. But now that you’ve endorsed it, I’ll definitely check it out.
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Carrie April 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Don’t hate me if you hate it cause I always hate whoever tells me a movie is great then I hate it.

Makes sense?

Amanda April 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

My mother is also one of those freakish women who can have an empty pantry and then cook up a feast as if it was nothing. Totally weird. My mom, knowing I have texture issues and hate jello, once told me to close my eyes and open my mouth because she wanted me to try her new dessert but it didn’t look pretty. I vomited in her sink. I think we both deserved my reaction.

I haven’t heard about Fifty Shades of Gray, but I’m all about a good, juicy book!
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Carrie April 7, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Then you get it.

Mom can have nothing but a can of old pears and some fajita marinade and pull a damn feast out of the oven 2 hours later.

Me? I’d just have some fajita-y tasting old pears.

Juicy doesn’t begin to explain the book. Be warned…supremely adultish.

Sassy Sarah April 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm

If you don’t send me my ‘FABULOUS’ sash back, it’s gonna get ugly right quick! Be scared ;o)

Carrie April 9, 2012 at 2:01 pm

HAHA!! I’ll share it…I’ll share it.

I suppose you want me to take it off now, too….huh?

Rach (DonutsMama) April 7, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I heard a little about that book on the Today show. I guess I missed that wave, considering most of the books I read have 2 sentences max per page!

I insist on you taking a picture of your cubicle. I need to see all the decor.
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Carrie April 9, 2012 at 1:55 pm

My cube is pretty awesome…I could really almost live in it.

Maren April 8, 2012 at 4:07 am

sounds like quite the week! I wish someone would leave me flamingos at my desk. Also, meatloaf cake? That’s the weirdest I’ve ever heard. Would love to try 😀
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Carrie April 8, 2012 at 7:59 am

It was good…different, but surprisingly good.

Especially once I got past the fact it wasn’t red velvet.

Jamie April 8, 2012 at 10:20 am

I would be HAPPY to go back to work if you were one of my co-workers! I bet they laugh at you everyday! Love the butt. :)
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Carrie April 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

We do have fun…my co-workers are pretty awesome. We laugh waaaay more than we should.

Carrie's Experimental Kitchen April 8, 2012 at 10:23 am

Another great post and I just finished Book 2 of Fifty Shades of Smut myself. On to book 3! Hope you have a Happy Easter! :)
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Carrie April 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

OMG! I am waiting on mine to come in! I KNEW I should have ordered all 3 together…but no. I got cheap.

My God he is hot. In my head. Yes, in my head he is just hot.
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Carrie's Experimental Kitchen April 10, 2012 at 6:18 am

I downloaded it on my kindle when I get to 90% through the book. The last one is going slower (or I’m just busier) and haven’t had much time to read it. :) Yes, I have to agree with you there and also how goodreads depicts him…ahhh….. LOL http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/223956279
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Holly from 300 Pounds Down April 9, 2012 at 10:18 am

Meatloaf cake!! I love it. I bet you’re right that it’s a Pinterest thing. But I admit I might have been depressed had I thought I was getting a real cake instead! Have never heard of this book but with that kind of an advertisement I now MUST check it out. I think I know what is going to be downloaded next on my kindle. I LOVE book series so I am glad to learn of a new one. I think it is WAY cool that you decorate your cubicle. How awesome!! You gotta bring the happy with you!
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Carrie April 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Girl, the book is smutty…but goooood. Or well, my skanky self liked it. No…loved it.

My little sister wants to read it and I told her, “No. You are entirely too young and I do not want to know my little sister read such filthy material.”

She’s going to be 40 in May.

She’s getting married this Friday.

She has two children.

But still. =)

Felicia April 9, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I did not see a dinner roll. My mind is clearly in the gutter…where it’s happiest.
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Jennifer April 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I’m glad you mentioned the size of the cubicle because I was wondering if there was room for you to sit in there.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell April 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Well now, you know that I’m going to have to go google that book! I love your flamingos, but goodness, you’ve got a lot of cubicle-mates!

Your mom’s meatloaf actually sounds better to me than red velvet cake!

Young American Wisdom April 12, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Damn, you make me laugh!

I’m waiting for my copy of 50 Shades of Grey to arrive from Amazon. Can’t wait to find out what all the buzz is about. Rumor has it that mommy’s have been reading it on the playground behind brown paper bags.
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Jessica April 13, 2012 at 8:14 pm

This book is on my list of reads…and my friend has basically had the exact same reaction. It’s time I hit the bookstore. This weekend. Or tonight. I’m getting extremely anxious to read this damn thing.

Did you have a week of vacay or something????????? What kind of JOB do you HAVE?

Bobbi April 13, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I also have the plastic pink flamingo and his gf the bitch with one leg (my neighbor kids stole the other) they live in my flower beds during the summer.
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Nathalie April 17, 2012 at 9:08 am

Carrie, I love your blog so much! I feel bad I haven’t been able to read it lately, but you make me laugh! And I feel so exhausted today that I really needed the laugh (Baby keeps getting me up at night, and she’s 8 months old). And you know, I was going to pass on that book, but now that you’ve mentioned it, I might take another look at it. . .
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