Two questions I never thought I’d have to ask a man.

May 12, 2012 in Me and My Public Self

Sweet girl at the office:  Do you mind going…”

And before she could finish her sentence:

Me:  “YES, I’LL GO.”

I immediately cut her off and I didn’t wait to hear where.  I just know she wasn’t saying, “Do you mind going back to your desk for 2 days?”

(Though she has clearly thought that, I’m sure.)

(More than a time or 17.)

So a month or so later, I am off to Abilene, Texas.  For work stuff.

(Of course, it was.)

Which was ok.

Small towns aren’t like they used to be.  And I’m fine with that.

After 4 hours on the road, it was clear I needed to get my nails done.

(OK, I just ‘wanted’ to get them done.  Sue me.)

I check in the hotel, throw my stuff in my room, freshen up a bit, go back to the front desk.

Apparently-Too-Young-To-Be-Working-Alone Dude:  “Yes, ma’am…can I help you?”

(Ma’am.)

(He said “ma’am.”)

(Shit.)

Me:  “Where can I go to get my nails done.  And it needs to be really, really close.  Meaning, I can basically see the salon from the parking lot?”

Apparently-Too-Young-To-Be-Working-Alone Dude:  “Ooohhh…I really don’t know.  You could have asked me anything other than that and I’d be ok with it.”

Me:  “Well then, are you married?”

Apparently-Too-Young-To-Be-Working-Alone Dude froze.  Eyes locked.  He said nothing.

It was a long 6 seconds.  For him.

(There’s your “ma’am.”)

I just smiled.

(He ‘did’ say I could ask anything other than that and he’d be ok with it.)

Me:  “I see you have a ring on.  Does your wife get her nails done?”

Apparently-Too-Young-To-Be-Working-Alone Dude:  “Oh, yes ma’am…but I don’t know where.”

(For the love of God, enough with the “ma’am.”)

Me:  “Now see, you should know that.”

Apparently-Too-Young-To-Be-Working-Alone Dude:  “You’re right.  I sure should, huh?”

And he laughs.  A nervous laugh…but a laugh.

He picks up the phone and says, “Yes, I have a lady here that would like information on local nail salons.”

(Lady.  Heehee.  Sweet boy.)

Out from the food/restaurant/cafe/whatever area…he walks out.

In all his glory.  It was love.

Angels were heard.  Or maybe not.  In my head I heard something that involved slang and cursing.

So, probably not angels.

His eyeliner was sheer perfection.  His lashes were longer than I’ve ever seen.

His face?  Flawless.

(Bastard.)

His ink?  Heaven.

Me:  “Sweet heavens, who does your makeup?  It’s flawless…perfect.”

Him:  “Oh, I get all my goods online.  Sephora.  Ever heard of it?”

Me:  “Ever heard of it??  I could live there!”

Him:  “Well, I was gonna say your lipgloss is fabulous!”

(Of course it is.)

Me:  “Mary Kay.”

Him:  “Should!  Have!  Known!  Any God-fearing Texas girl does love her some Mary Kay, doesn’t she?!?”

(Obviously, he could tell I was from Texas and not some other far off state.  Can’t imagine why.)

Immediate friends.

He walked me to the front doors, pointed the direction to the nearest nail salon and suggested I ask for Kim.

Which I totally did.

(And I do believe she could possibly work at the local gentlemen’s club after she files and polishes during the day.)

(Just a hunch.)

Anyway.

So, “Are you married?” and “Who does your makeup?” are two questions I can now check off my list of Questions to Ask A Man.

(Though I need to add that second question to the list before I can check it off.)

Thank you, Jesus.

And Abilene, Texas.

Rob R May 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Ha! Well, apparently, here in North Carolina, 60% of our people would prefer not to ask a man where he does his makeup.
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Carrie May 12, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Never thought I’d hear those words leave my mouth.

But he definitely had it going on.

L.Hewitt May 12, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Hey Carrie,
Just wanted to let you know that I like your blog very much. I believe Iris sent me last week, but I don’t remember commenting. Love your tiara. And I just followed you on Twitter, because I am trying to have mad twitter skilz.
Lisa/Lynn

Carrie May 12, 2012 at 9:26 pm

LOVE. Elated. Thrilled. Ecstatic you’re here!! And don’t you just love Iris?!? She is a damn nut and yet, I just can’t get enough of her!

Thank you tons…and please say anything…anytime!

L.Hewitt May 12, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Yes, I do love Iris. She makes me spit my coke on my monitor everytime I read her. You seem to have that ability too. Do you read In The Powder Room? Please be warned – I will say anything…anytime (but I kinda think you would’nt mind that);)
Lisa/Lynn

Carrie May 12, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I read “In the Powder Room” when Iris does it! I need to find time to read more though.

Don’t mind anything at anytime. Have at it, Tutz!! =)

Karyn May 12, 2012 at 7:16 pm

😉 My husband spent much of his childhood in Abilene – Wyley Elementary School. They didn’t do too much educating about Mary Kay there it seems – sadly.

Glad he got you sorted, and I have to say that asking that guy if he was married because you wanted to know about his wife’s nail salon, might actually be the only legitimate reason to ask such a question – trust you to find it – you go girl!
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Carrie May 12, 2012 at 9:28 pm

What a small world! Abilene is only about 4.5 hours from me! It’s a nice, little town…but it’s not Austin.

Or Australia. =)

Bella May 14, 2012 at 10:52 am

Austin. Spent two weeks there in the crazy teenage days when I decided to hop on a plane and meet a man I’d met online lol. Austin made a permanent impression on me and I am pining to come back.
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:39 am

Please let me know when you do. Would totally love to meet up.

Austin is fabulous.

Connie Weiss May 14, 2012 at 11:15 am

That’s fantastic!

I hate how front desk people don’t know anything.
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:40 am

I know. Anything more than, “Where’s the pool?” and they’re lost.

Maggie S. May 14, 2012 at 12:00 pm

“Sephora, Ever heard of it?” Hilarious.

Doesn’t know where the spouse gets nails done. Doesn’t know what is outside the place he works. Too young, indeed.

Now, if I am ever in Abilene… there are three people I can say, “You now Carrie?” and they’ll say, “YES, I JUST LOVE HER!!!”
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:40 am

HAHA!! I’m quite sure Abilene was counting their blessings as I blazed out of town!

Jennifer May 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

David knows where my nail salon is, but only because he drops me off and goes to Lowe’s. I tried to tell him there were several men in there on Saturday, but he assured me he would never be one of them. Spoil sport.
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:42 am

All it takes is one pedicure and he’ll be back.

There have been times I’ve been getting mine done and there were more men in the chairs than women. And I’m not sure I like them invading my space.

Carrie's Experimental Kitchen May 14, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Sounds like you had a pretty interesting week! :)
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:42 am

Interesting to say the least!

Reese May 16, 2012 at 11:48 pm

I can understand how a regular guy wouldn’t know this stuff. I mean, I could not expect my hubby to know this. But front desk ought to know this kind of stuff because people expect to get this kind of information from them.
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:42 am

You’d think, huh?

jennie May 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm

LOVE IT! It’s fun to shock people. I need to do that more often!
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:43 am

Heehee! Yep, can be a total rush sometimes!

mark May 17, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I’m glad you’re getting these things checked off the life list, because I’m sure not. Keep up the fine work, Carrie!
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:43 am

That damn list keeps growing though…

Holly from 300 Pounds Down May 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I love it!!! I dare say you know how to have a good time no matter where you go. I can see that about you. You bring the party with you! If only I could get you to come to Vegas with me for my 40th birthday next month I’d be set. My bff and I had planned to go see Joey Lawrence (WOAH lol) headline the Chippendales show at the Rio next month but her husband flaked out and wouldn’t let her go. BOO! Luckily I don’t have a husband to tell me no but unfortunately I’m not brave enough to go by myself. Boo again!! Anyway, I digress. My point was you rock and know how to have a good time wherever you go. Love that about you!!
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:44 am

Aww…I’m flattered. To the core.

I haven’t been to Vegas since my old flight attendant days. Goodness…it’s been years.

Don’t ask…I might take you up on it! And you’ve heard the old saying, “watch what you ask for”, huh??

=)

Jessica May 21, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I love your stories. I really need to stay caught up.

Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:38 am

I miss you and hearing about Evelyn and the kids.

Karyn May 21, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Well, there’s just no other option. You have been kidnapped by aliens and we are waiting for them to return you so you can tell us your story. I can’t POSSIBLY fathom any other reason you would be so quiet for so long! 😉
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Carrie May 22, 2012 at 11:37 am

HAHA!! Trust me…ANYONE brave enough to kidnap me would totally bring me back.

And quick.

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