Communicating with me really ain’t that bad. If you do it my way.

June 7, 2012 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

OK.  So, the dude who pays me for dragging up to the office every day and tormenting him, suggested I take a class on “communicating.”

Him:  “Hey, we’re doing a class on communicating…you ought to take it.”

Me:  “Why?  I communicate fine.  It’s everyone else in this building who needs it.”

Him:  “Hey, we’re doing a class on communicating…you ought to take it.”

I’m a good hint-taker.

So I took the hint.

And the class.

(I know in his head what he was really saying was:

“Listen, Mofo.  I can only take hearing the word ‘mofo’ so many times a day from your mouth.  Plus, we all know when YOU scream out, “WTF!” in a meeting, you don’t really mean “Why, that’s fabulous!”)

He facilitated this communicating class.

(Mistake #1 on his part since he suggested I take it.)

At one point, the class of about 20 people were discussing phone etiquette and how to properly deal with an unhappy caller.

(‘How to properly deal with’ apparently doesn’t mean don’t-just-hang-up-after-banging-the-receiver-on-your-desk.)

(Not that I have.)

It was asked, “What goes into dealing with unhappy people calling us?”

Most people yelled out crap like attitude, kindness, remaining calm and stuff like that.

I raised my hand.  He called on me.

(And there’s his mistake #2.  Yeah.)

I said, “hormones.”

I could see death behind his eyes as he looked at me.

Me:  “At my first job when I was about 22, I was the front-desk girl for this company.  I answered the incoming calls.  This one jerk customer called all the time and he was always miserably rude.  Just hateful.  So, I would hang up on him.  And I would put him on hold and let him sit there…blinking…until he hung up.  He was just mean and I wasn’t going to take that crap from anyone.  Customer or not.”

Him:  “OK.  Well, tell us how hormones are involved and how you resolved the situation.”

Me:  “I divorced him 12 years later.”

(He asked for it.)

True story.

The class erupted.

(Of course…you know me.  I knew everyone in the room because I know probably 90% in our building of 400 people.)

(Sister gets around, I tell you.)

(I think that’s called “communicating.”  Uh, huh.)

No one in the room was surprised by my answer.  Neither was he.

Anyway…part of the class we discussed how text speak is making it’s way into the every day.

I’m old.

(Except for the fact I’m hoping to drive by the outdoor theater tonight where Snoop Dogg will be hanging out…right by the stage.)

(With alllll my car windows down.)

(That there ain’t old.)

(Yet I continue to wonder why I’m single.)

I’m cool with texting.  I mean, I would really rather text than make a phone call for a quick question.  Or a comment.

Or a trashy little snippet of charm that should really be left unsaid.

(But don’t be calling me back with an answer when I texted you a question.)

(I will de-friend you HARD from my LIFE if you pull that shit.)

We informally chatted about acronyms (big word for me!) that are considered text speak.  I was rather impressed at how many I knew after all.

BTW – By the way.

WTF? – What the fuck?  (My version.  You can clean it up for you.)

IDK – I don’t know.

TTYL – Talk to you later.  (Knew that in 3rd grade, thank you.)

EFT – Electronic Funds Transfer

OK.  I’m reaching with that last one.  I’m running out of coolness and well, my bank does use that, so I’m still cool to my bank since I know this.

But there were a couple discussed that was, well, basically shot in my direction:

G2W – Get to work

GB2W – Get back to work

Yeah.  Imagine that.  Hard to believe, I’m sure.

However, I do think I’m still somewhat cool enough to come up with a some of my own text speak.

Like, maybe:

HAGDBDFBMWYDI – Have a great day but don’t fucking bother me while you’re doing it.

And what about:

IH2P – I have to pee.

Which I don’t totally know why I’d divulge that information by text…but you gotta admit:  It’s still a mystery as to why I divulge most of the information that I do.

You know you agree.

(UKUD – You know you do.)

Jennifer June 7, 2012 at 1:17 pm

IH2P…LOL!!! I am going to use that one a lot now. Not sure why anyone would want to know this info, but I have at least one friend who I think would appreciate it. She just likes to know random stuff.
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Carrie June 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

It’s good to have someone in life who you can just throw random, no good-sense-making stuff at.

I mean, I got tons of those people. Ya’ll are mostly it.

And I loooove it. =)
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Maggie S. June 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

WHY THAT’S FABULOUS! I may adopt that as my life motto. You’ll always know that I am screaming WTF on the inside.

This is just delightful.

I am SO excited that Snoop Dogg may have his security team keeping an eye on you later!!!

I could never deal with disgruntled customers over the phone. The fact that I don’t believe in Karma notwithstanding.
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Carrie June 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I’m telling you. The boss puts up with A LOT. That is absolutely, without a doubt, not the worst he’s heard from me.

I’m really hoping I can keep my lazy ass awake to make it downtown to circle the block. I’ll be in my pj’s so ya’ll all need to pray I don’t get pulled over.

Or frisked.

Or arrested.

Or out of my car to stand at the pizza joint because Snoop’s ‘aroma’ was too strong.
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rob rubin June 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

In the case if my little one who we are trying to potty train, IH2P unfortunately also stands for I Hate To Poop.

Carrie June 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Ooohhh…THAT is good!

I like the way you think.

Now, thanks to you…I have another one.

IH2POOP – I have to poop.

The adult version of your little one’s.

Mandy June 7, 2012 at 6:52 pm

So, when you and I communicate, what does JACKASS stand for when you say that to me?

Carrie June 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Hmm…that’s a good one. I’ll have to work on figuring that one out.

I’m sure it’s a good one though! =)

katie metzroth June 7, 2012 at 8:14 pm

When I read this in Google Reader, the ad was, “Why Men Pull Away: 10 Mistakes Women Make that Ruins any Chance of a Relationship.”. First, I think one of the mistakes is correcting their grammar all the time (shouldn’t it be Ruin?)….but, I note that you could write and share your idea for number 11: Driving by outdoor Snoop concerts….but, then again, I think that sounds super fun!
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Carrie June 7, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I’M SO LAME. I’m really wanting to go but I’m already starting to get tired.

I’m just glad I didn’t contact Snoop first and tell him to wait outside for me to drive by and wave.

Tricky June 7, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Heh, I knew there was a reason for me NOT to present that class. Though, I know the rest are not going to be as easy w/o you in the audience.
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Carrie June 7, 2012 at 8:38 pm



Tricky June 7, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Ok, maybe, but not nearly as much fun.
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Life with Kaishon June 7, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Oh my goodness! Laughed out loud about divorcing the caller that bothered you ; )
One time my supervisor made me go to a training class about something like that. It made me super irritated. The only person that I wasn’t able to get along with at my job was her because she had such a whacky attitude! : )
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Carrie June 8, 2012 at 12:10 am

Heehee! True story…100% true!

I didn’t mind it the class and actually rather enjoyed it. I’m really lucky…great boss and we really have fun. He puts up with a lot! =)

Rach (DonutsMama) June 7, 2012 at 9:59 pm

My friend and I made up on (but it was before texting and via email, still it applies). OOC: Out of Control.
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Carrie June 8, 2012 at 12:11 am

Ooohhh…THAT is gooood! OOC is kind of a “at least once a day every day” thing for me

Barbara June 8, 2012 at 5:48 am

Oh, you communicate brilliantly… should teach your own class on it. 😉
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Carrie June 8, 2012 at 6:04 am

HA!! Could you only imagine all the new hand signals that would come of that?!?

Jennifer June 8, 2012 at 7:37 am

I imagine you brighten that place every day with your wit and charm. Were you able to see Snoop? I would have been too tired…I suck.
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Carrie June 8, 2012 at 8:12 am

Girl, I’m such a lame ass. I was in bed barely hanging on at 9:30. And you KNOW Snoop didn’t even think about getting on that stage until after 10:30.

I so bad want to still “having it” but I gotta sooner or later admit to losing it.

Jennifer June 8, 2012 at 10:15 am

I have. Beat the phone on the desk before hanging up.
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Carrie June 8, 2012 at 10:17 am

I’m telling you. There is such a therapy in that.

Not that I would know though.

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Megan (Best of Fates) June 8, 2012 at 11:04 am

I oh-so-wish we worked together. And IH2P would come in handy all. the. time!

Maybe I tell people I have too pee too often.

No, nevermind, not possible.

Oh, and calling back in response to a text? Makes you a monster.
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Carrie June 8, 2012 at 11:09 am

Could you imagine? We’d probably each have a chair with our name embroidered on it.


Total funness though. Fo sho’!!

Jamie June 8, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Yes, do NOT call me back when I text you a question. It just annoys me. My mother-in-law sometimes has her husband call me when I text her to ask a question. Drives me kuh-ray-zee!

I’m kinda sad you missed out on Snoop. I wanted to hear more about that! 😉
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Carrie June 9, 2012 at 11:02 am

I know. I’m sure Snoop was awesome.

I wish I could say I officially did a drive by with Snoop. That would make me ridiculously cool for about 4 minutes.

Peggy June 9, 2012 at 10:31 am

Carrie – ILY. simple, old fashioned, and sincere. And we used to do this before texting. We did it with PEN AND PAPER. Here’s to old people. Old, wise, funny people. You are a gift.

Carrie June 9, 2012 at 11:03 am

THAT is now officially my favorite ever: ILY

That’s the one. I’m sold.

And ILY way more, Peggy…way more. =)

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell June 10, 2012 at 7:20 am

You are hilarious! I’m with you on not calling when I text you. In fact, don’t call me ever. 😉
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Carrie June 10, 2012 at 7:39 am

YES! And you know, I’m always barking about how social media and technology has all but destroyed “the human touch” and “people skills.”

But yet, I’m the first one to say don’t call me or stop by for a visit. Text me or send an email.

I’m awesome.
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Connie Weiss June 11, 2012 at 9:37 am

I think we’re twins!!!

I used to get into so much trouble at work. So it’s really a good thing that I’m a trophy wife now and I can sleep with my boss.
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Jef June 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Your office sounds like a fun place to work, Carrie.

A toddler recently told me TTFN. I asked what it meant, and she said, “Ta ta for now!” And she said it with that tone as if she were speaking to an imbecile. How quickly they learn …

Karyn June 13, 2012 at 11:52 pm

That response is the best thing I have heard all day – I can only imagine how popular you are with the lecturers trying to teach a class WITHOUT pandemonium. Love it!

I had a mother of one of my sons friends call me the other day – I don’t know her that well, she seems nice, but frankly, I have enough friends and a pretty busy life… what I’d politely LIKE to say is “Look, you seem great, really great, but my friends schedule is just all booked up, I simply don’t have any room for more friends right now…but if I let any of them go, or someone moves….well, I can put you on the wait list, how about that? And if someone drops off the list for whatever reason, I’ll put you right on the schedule. Ok?”

Anyway, my husband wont let me do this, he says its ‘rude.’ (This coming from a man that answers, “Not huge , just large-ish” when I ask “How does my ass look in these jeans?” Really? He thinks IM rude??) Anyway, he wont let me, so I have scheduled drinks with her 4 weeks out – 4 weeks!!! That’s as soon as I can get her in.

Problem is, she called me the other day – at 7am. 7am!! WHO DOES that??? As soon as I hung up – still groggy from being woken from a dead sleep – hubby looked at me. “OH, shit. Shes so going down, there’s no WAY she’ll make your list now, I know you, anyone who calls that early is O.V.E.R. in your book….am I right?”

Oh hell yes, he’s right!!! Who DOES that??? (Sorry for the war and peace post – I had a lot to say!) 😉
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Carrie June 14, 2012 at 11:15 am

I. WOULD. DIE. If anyone called me THAT early.

I love your husband. For no other reason than, “Not huge , just large-ish.”

THAT is friggin awesome!!
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