Not much to report other than lots of hoopin’ and hollerin’. And well, I might’ve grown a beard.

June 15, 2012 in Crap I Was Considerate Enough to Not Bother You with Before Now.,Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

In all my 43 years, not once do I remember being called “low-key.”

Or “subtle.”

Or “tranquil.”

Or “serene.”


First.  ‘Dallas’.

I literally turded on the floor when I realized JR was shot 32 YEARS AGO.

(Yeah.  Turded.)

(I know.  I’m a picture of class.)

If anyone would have simply said, “Quick!  How many years ago was JR shot?” I would have more than likely tried to subtract back to when I was still living with the folks beacause I was a rather mature 11 year old prodigy and eating shit like oreos for dinner dipped in chocolate milk and lathered with whipped cream with no concerns of my girlish figure one day needing maintenance.

Then it would have clicked how bad and hard I suck at anything to do with numbers and I would have said, “Uh, I don’t know…12?”

Because really.  Wasn’t it just a few years ago?


(Reality punched me in the neck when I was yammering about it at the work joint and a co-worker said, “Who is JR?”)

(She’s like 4.)  (That almost pissed me off.)


I was all up into loving to loathe some Ewing boys on Wednesday night.  That loathing brought back some really feel-good memories.

(And how sad is it that I love to loathe?)

‘Dallas’ is now cemented into my DVR thing.  Fo reelz.

(Now here is where I am really going way over the top.  Which I do understand is tough for you to grasp…but roll with me here.)

Second.  NBA Finals.

Oh, sweet mother of all things sweaty and beard-y.  And tall.

I am so completely obsessed with the OKC Thunder, my co-workers hate me.  It’s all I can talk about.

(They kinda hated me before but now they have a legitimate reason.)

(If you’re not watching or the least bit into the Finals…sayanara.  Go on and consider this post completed.)

Any game night this week, I could have heard a bang on my door and the words, “Open up, lady…POLICE!”

Then I could have been thrown against the wall and hand-cuffed.  And maybe even frisked?

(Who am I kidding.  I ain’t living THAT good.)

Why?  Because I have been so into the NBA Finals I can’t contain myself.  I should be ashamed, but…well, we all know how lacking I am in that department.

I’m sure the neighbors think I’m rocking and rolling with some hot, inked up stud (who could possibly resemble Johnny Depp or Adam Levine) from all the “OH MY GOD!!” screams and “WHAT THE HELL?!?” yelling and “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?” bellowing.

And then there’s the old faithful of, “GO GO GO GO HELLZ YEAH…GO GO GO!”

My poor, poor neighbors.

(Let’em think.)

(And let me dream.)

It’s been ages since I’ve been this into something sportish-y.

Beings Kevin Durant played one year here in Austin at UT…I act like I know him.

Which I do not.

 The Durantula – HELLZ YEAH!

Beings James Harden has this ferociously now famous beard…I act like I know him.

Which, it appears I do.



(Unfortunately, not much to fear here. Move along.)

I even follow this beard on Twitter.

Oh, yes I do.

I even have a giant cut-out of the beard to wear at the work joint when The Thunder blow the roof off these finals and wins.

Oh, yes I do.

And if I can find a FEAR THE BEARD t-shirt…the party is on.

Don’t say I’m not a team player.  Or that I don’t show full support.

I mean, for the love of all things big and fuzzy on your chin…I grew a damn beard.

(Turded.  It’s a good word.)

(Use it.)


(And often.)

L.Hewitt June 15, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I will henceforth incorporate turded into every possible conversation I have. Apparently someone turded the time continum because there is NO WAY that shit happened 32 years ago. Woo Yoo for your b’ballers. You look fabulous with facial hair. Have a fancy weekend.

Carrie June 15, 2012 at 2:02 pm

The bad thing…I used ‘turded’ at the office one day and no one even flinched.

Not much surprises them anymore. Thank goodness.

Jennifer June 15, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I know zilch about basketball.
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Carrie June 15, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I know just enough to get me riled up.

Which is probably more than the neighbors care for.

Maggie S. June 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Then I guess you should know…Oklahoma City’s score keeper guy? Yeah, I know him. He is about four years younger than I am. We went to the same church growing up. He’s a “fluffy” redhead. Apparently, he was on TV the other night after I went to bed. Westbrook was standing by the table waiting to check-in. If you have it dVR’d.

There was no THUNDAH!!! When I lived there.
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Carrie June 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Seems like The Thunder just came out of nowhere! I remember seeing them play the Spurs a few years ago in San Antonio and really had no clue who they were.

Now? I’m all up over it!

Sarah June 15, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Oh honey. We are all up in the OKC boyz over here, and know why? Because I am formerly from Seattle and they are the boyz formerly known as the Seattle SuperSonics. But Seattle lost it’s inner Sonic and now look at ’em go. They just needed a little humidity in their lives to live the dream. Go Thundah!
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Carrie June 15, 2012 at 7:21 pm

And THAT is how lame I can be. I just found that out today when I was yammering at work about them. One of the guys told me.

No idea.

It’s a sickness now. I am dying a game isn’t on tonight…don’t know what I’m gonna do when they win and it’s all she wrote!

Amanda June 16, 2012 at 12:25 am

I will definitely be using the word “turded” in the very near future.

Also, have you been to South Fork Ranch? I went about 20 years ago when I had no idea what “Dallas” was all about. Loving the new series!
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Carrie June 16, 2012 at 6:44 am

No…but would LOVE to! Southfork is such an icon!

I loved, loved, loved that JR is still a mean old bastard and Bobby is still a pretty boy. And their sons? Just like’em. I was really hoping it would be true to the original and from what I can tell…it is.

Now, I do think the 2 young girls could eat a Twinkie or two. They need some meat on their bones….but Sue Ellen is still a picture of beauty all these years later.
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Barbara June 16, 2012 at 9:19 am

You look great in that beard!

As for John Ross, he apparently went to my high school and grew up in my church. He’s a solid ten years younger than I am though so it’s not like I know him but now it seems like he must be practically family.

I also went to elementary school with Taylor Armstrong of Real Housewives fame. I’m starting to wonder why I don’t have my own show. Things to think about whilst heavily medicated. 😉
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Carrie June 16, 2012 at 6:27 pm


(Got that from some really cool chick in Oklahoma!)

If John Ross grew up within 100 miles of me, I’d be stalking. That’s for sure. I’ve stalked for less.

And meds are goooood….

Jennifer June 16, 2012 at 11:45 am

So, do you give the new Dallas a thumbs-up?? I honestly didn’t watch it b/c I was afraid it would suck, and it would ruin the fond memories I have of sitting around in my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans eating oreos, like yourself. Not realizing those oreos would indeed come back to bite me in the butt, so to speak.
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Carrie June 16, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Definite thumbs up! Definitely. But I was (and apparently still am) a complete Dallas loser back in the day. I lived for 8:00 Friday nights.

But let’s remember…I was 11. All that whiskey swilling and hot shot talking is big stuff for an 11 year old.

It’s where I got most of my learnin’ anyway.


Connie Weiss June 16, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I love Dallas. Thanks for chatting with me when it was on!
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Carrie June 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm

And I’ll be right back on Twitter next Wednesday night, too!

It’s a date!

Jef June 17, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I would like you to write about oreos dunked in chocolate milk with whipped cream in more detail. I love food porn!
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Carrie June 19, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Ain’t food porn the best. That is some stuff I could go on and on and on about.
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Bobbi June 18, 2012 at 12:27 pm

You lost me on the basketball part but as a youngin no need to call me 4. I know who the Ewing boys are. We are now cable free so give me a week or so and I will tell you what I think of the younger Dallas.
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Carrie June 19, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Can’t wait! I love me some Ewing boys…and I’ll be piled up in front of my TV tomorrow night.

Just like old times!

LeAnne June 20, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I’m in love with both JR and Bobby, is that wrong? incest? oh well. Oh and CHRISTOPHER
*don’t mind me while I wipe my drool*

We’re trying to stay in with OKC, but I’m not so sure… love the beard!!
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Becca June 21, 2012 at 12:59 am

I really thought JR was shot during my lifetime. I am shocked! But I know who he is because my family was obsessed with Dallas. I have the new show recorded and have to get around to watching it!
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Karyn June 28, 2012 at 7:44 am

I wanted to love this post, but sadly it was written in another language. So I just have to say “good for you for being bilingual.”
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