Apparently lots of hair, ink and skates DO go together. Who would have thought?

July 9, 2012 in Me and My Public Self,Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

Because I was invited.  That’s why.

When Stacie, the middle sister called and said, “Hey.  Forgot to tell you you’re invited to go with a group of us tonight to the Texas Roller Derby Girls downtown…you’re going right?”

“HELLZ YEAH!” was about the only thing that came to mind.  And out of my mouth.

(Well, that and “Should I not bathe so I don’t stand out in the crowd?” but I held back because well, she would have ripped that invite right out of my mouth if I considered not bathing.)

(And I was going.)

(And let’s face it:  I can be a little white trashy-ish when it’s called for.)

(OK.  A lot.)

Anyway.

We met with friends beforehand for a bite to eat then headed to the big….place.  I don’t really know what it was.  Maybe an arena?  A big skating round ramp thing?

(Remember back when wrestling was on TV late at night and your mom told you not to watch but you went in your room and acted like you were asleep and watched anyway because you were not about to have anyone tell you what you could and could not watch when you were 8?)

(Yeah.  I didn’t either.)

(But that’s what it reminded me of.  Those big old dirty, crusty arena places where the wrestling dudes hung out.)

The crowd was pretty awesome.  Lots of hair.  Lots of it.  On chins.  Faces.  Backs.  Arms.  Feet.  Places I really didn’t know hair could/would/should be.

On women.

And yeah, some of the men had long beards.

And everybody had ink.  Again…in places ink really doesn’t need to be.

There was so much hair and so much ink, I heard myself ask no one in particular, out loud, “What the hell do these people do Monday through Friday?”

(Stacie shot me a look and told me to shut my mouth and to stop being so loud.  She apparently wasn’t in the mood to rumble.)

Once they hyped up the crowd and the girls hit the rink…I was in.

I almost had Stacie convinced that we could totally do this by the time the 2nd quarter hit.

(Or inning.  Or bout…whatever it was called.  I’m not sports freak.  Obviously.)

I liked the cute little costumes and while I will admit, it’s been years since I’ve been on roller skates…I could probably whip myself around that rink as long as I stayed close to the railing and kept my arms out-stretched and well, just rolled.

No push-offs, no shoving, no ducking.  Just rolling.

Slow.

She said we’d be the only damn ones to ever do it while clutching the rails, ducking and screaming “Don’t hit me, don’t hit me!” and working our arms more by pulling on the rails than our legs by actually skating.

(She could be kinda right.  She usually is.)

(Though I do get miserably and embarrassingly competitive at times.  And by “at times” I mean “anytime I do anything that in the end has a winner.”)

(And heaven help any bitch who blew by and I ended up with smeared lipstick or a broken fingernail.  Totally game-on at that point.)

And they all had pretty coolish-ly badass names.

Like…Dusty Double Wide.

And Dil-dozer.

(Uh, huh.  I know.)

Anyway, it was a really great time and I was able to let out some of my white trashiness in the proper setting while realizing I have a long way to go before I can really hang with the real white trashiness of the world.

(Which I’m a bit unsure of just how that makes me feel.  Cause I’ve worked hard to perfect that.  Years of work.)

Stacie though, is elated.  She can keep her roller skates in her closet just a little bit longer.

Or at least until I can find me one of those sparkly red, white and blue costumes anyway.

Amanda July 9, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I had to look up roller derby because out here in the sticks, we don’t have all that new-fangled entertainment y’all have in the big city. I’m still a little confused. Is it like full contact roller skating? Is there a ball (or equivalent) involved? And the most important question is this: were adult beverages readily available?

And if you had a brother ask you to go instead of a sister, he wouldn’t have cared if you bathed or not! Haha!
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Carrie July 9, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Oh, yes. When anyone hears the words new and fangled lumped together…it’s me they see. HA!!

Well, it was my first time. And it really was a good time. I didn’t know what exactly it was either but that group of chicks in the front try to keep those two in the back (one from each team) from passing. The more they pass, the more points.

Or something like that. No balls (except for the giant ones those badass chicks have) or equipment. Just roller skates and helmets.

And cute little costumes. Which I could totally love if all I had to do was stand by the rail and wave.

Barbara July 9, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I still want to see that movie, “Whip It” with Drew Barrymore. It’s supposed to be great!

Sounds like an interesting night and by interesting I mean hairy, in every way possible! :)
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Carrie July 9, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Hairy is putting it lightly. Lots and lots of hair.

Lots.

Jennifer July 9, 2012 at 8:12 pm

There is a blogger I like that does this, Keely The Un-Mom. She lives in Canada. She’s a lot like us. She swears that if she can do it anyone can. You should totally give it a try.
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Carrie July 9, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Girl, you know me. After about 45 minutes, I was all up in Stacie’s ear with, “Oh, my God we could TOTALLY do this!” and “What team name could we call ourselves??”

And she just slooooowly turned her head to the right…glared at me a little….and quietly said, “Would you just shut your mouth?”

But I’m still working on her.

Maggie S. July 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

It sounds like she’d already thought it.
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Anne July 9, 2012 at 10:02 pm

See, I always think that you and I should hang out because we would have so much fun. But then I read a post like this, and I realize that if we hung out together, we would certainly have a lot of fun, but we would also probably get beat up. ;)
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 9:42 am

Yes. I think you might be right.

I tend to find more trouble than I care to admit. I just am thankful I can usually sweet talk my way out of it.

Most of the time anyway. =)
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Lisa Guedry July 10, 2012 at 9:30 am

Just grab the ol’ outfit from your kick ball days, throw some skates on and go for it!!! Feather boa and all!!!!

Carrie July 10, 2012 at 9:43 am

Oh, Lord. You know I ran across the tooth-blackout stuff in my bathroom drawer the other day.

I am probably the only 43 year old woman with tooth-blackout in her possesion.

And that, I’m sure, surprises no one.

Maggie S. July 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Kickball? Boa? Tooth black? I need the link to that post.
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Girl, I had to go dig. Totally forgot that yes…I HAVE been white trashish-y within the last 6 months!

http://asassyredhead.com/2011/10/losing-aint-really-losing-when-youre-winning.html

Connie Weiss July 10, 2012 at 11:43 am

I am much too sophisticated to attend such an event. But 12 years ago, I would have been the one on skates!
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Now why do I NOT find that hard to believe?

And you know I would’ve been right there with you pushing and shoving.

God I hope I don’t have to dig out the ol’skates.
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L.Hewitt July 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm

It’s official – I love you.

Carrie July 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Official is YAY!

And I totally love you back!
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Maggie S. July 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

What’s the object of the game except to air out their pits with the better breeze you get skating in an air conditioned room.
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

You just made me love the idea of the game even more.

Because you know I don’t like to sweat. And goodness knows pits are not my favorite things in life.

You in if I form a girls league?? =) You would completely make it worth it for me!!

Maggie S. July 10, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I skate well, but I am not strong. I can be vulgar, but I would be crippled after the first match. Thingy. I could be your trainer.
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Jennifer July 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

OK, I have always wanted to go to this! Am someday going to get my butt to Austin and see this thing live!!!
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Come on! You have an open invitation! It was really a great time!

Kristy July 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Oh my gosh! I don’t know what I find funnier…. the post itself or your responses to the comments! I can SOO see you in every situation! You, and your big bad self! LOL Psh!
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 6:18 pm

HAHA!! Girl, it’s sad…cause I can kinda see me in the situations, too.

I should probably find a little shame somewhere, huh?
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Jef July 10, 2012 at 4:41 pm

It’s funny you should post about this, because my friend Marissa just joined the Roller Girls here in Atlanta, and we have a Roller Girl from Los Angeles coming to the bookstore this Friday to talk about her novel.
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Soooo…are you saying, in a way, I just might now have connections?

Don’t tease.

=)

katie metzroth July 10, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I think you and Stacie should do it – or maybe the three of us could start up some kind of flag football version of rolller derby?
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Carrie July 10, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Aww hell. You’re serious. I know you.

=)

Fashionista Era July 11, 2012 at 11:13 am

Wow love that video looksl ike crazy fun…not the hairy ppl part though would gross me out..!! :p Its an adventure sport anyawys hhee…hey sweets sorry I have been MIA – thanks to travelling and holiday to meet friends and family had a nice relaxing month with them :D back to routne! Hope ya well :D big hugsss
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Carrie July 12, 2012 at 8:24 am

It was fun…a different kind of fun, but really a good time!

Sweet girl, you’re preaching to the choir on the being busy stuff! I totally get that…all too well. You just keep traveling and doing your thing because I LOVE reading about it when you settle down and write!

Love!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell July 11, 2012 at 11:38 am

I used to watch that on tv and those girls are ruthless! I think you could take them all out and win though, for sure!
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Carrie July 12, 2012 at 8:26 am

And wasn’t there a movie with Raquel Welch about roller derby girls? I’m gonna have to IMDB it.

And yes…back in the day, I could have taken them.

But those days are so far back I can barely see them anymore!! =)

Cha Cha July 12, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Oh, I hear ya, sister. I looooove roller derby – mostly for the names. Wouldn’t it be great if we could give ourselves derby-esque names to use in the workplace?

Carrie July 12, 2012 at 1:34 pm

YES! Sheer heaven.

Right up until it came time for them to give me my name. I’d be completely mortified over what they’d come up with. Some of the non-derby-esque names they’ve pinned to me are bad enough.

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