All the crap below is just a random sampling of what either I said to myself in my head during Magic Mike or to my sweet friend, Nancy, who had the pleasure of sitting next to me.
Lucky her, huh?
(At least 73 times, Nancy and I jerked a look at each other and threw our hands over our wide-open gaping mouths giggling.)
(Like silly girls who haven’t seen a hot, young, gyrating, sweaty, buff, bronzed, gym-ified, naked baby making machine in years.)
(Well, I can only speak for me. Who knows about her, right?)
(Oh. And apply the twang as needed.)
“Whoa.”
“Sweet mother of all things young, sweaty and rock-ass-solid…dude’s got it going on.”
“I swear to you, I did NOT know a dude’s body could do that.”
“My God he can dance. And he’s white.”
“I’ll kill every fiber in the ass of my nieces’ if they ever go to one of those clubs.”
“Shit, I’m too old for this. But no…I’m staying.”
“How did he get her from her seat to…well…up that high?”
“We shouldn’t be sitting this close to the front. Every thing is, well…bigger.”
“He’s way too young for me to be looking at. But you straight-up know I am.”
“Oh, my God. Is that his…oh, wow.”
“My nieces are dead of they even think about it. Dead, I tell you.”
“If I tried that with a chair I’d end up with splinters in places no splinter should ever be.”
“McConaughey is ruining this for me.”
“Son of a bi….how the hell did he DO that?”
“No man over the age of 24 should ever even THINK of doing any of this. It just would NOT be the same.”
“Whoooooa.”
“That’s a good song. Robert, my gay friend who refuses to marry me, loves it. He sings it all the damn time.”
“I’m not sure an umbrella has ever looked so good. Or so long.”
“If that bastard McConaughey says ‘AlrightAlrightAlriiiight’ just one more time…”
“I ain’t ever seen a cowboy look that good and girl I have seen me some cowboys.”
“Why do they always put it right there? In your face. Like you need to see it all up close. Damn.”
“Whoa.”
“Why, hello Mr. Army man.”
“I mean, it’s right ‘there’. In her face. Isn’t that kinda close? I’d have to put on my glasses.”
“Think Chuck would ever let you go to one of those clubs?”
“I didn’t say ‘I’ wanted to go…I just asked if Chuck would let YOU go! I’m just asking!”
The absolute best part for me was the giggling and the pointing and the overly loud whispers of “OHMYGODOHMYGODDIDYOUSEETHAT?!?” to my sweet friend next to me.
(And I’m still waiting to hear if Chuck would ever let her go.)
(Just curious. That’s all.)
(Don’t judge.)
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Your post just made me a million times more excited to go see this movie tonight. Yay!!!
Becca recently posted..Bucktown / Wicker Park Food Tour!!!
Girl…it is good, but lemme tell you…I blushed like I ain’t blushed in a loooong time.
Yes. It’s THAT good. =)
OMG, I SO WISH we could have gone to see this together! I went on Sunday and had a lot of those same thoughts. I think the two I thought the most were “Why the f is Matthew McConaughy so damn creepy?” and “Awww… Channing. We love you baby, but don’t try to act. Just dance around half naked, thankyouverymuch”.
Anne recently posted..The Night That the Lights Went Out in Maryland
I KNOW! I thought the same thing! If McConaughey would have just f’ing acted and wasn’t so consumed with trying to be hot like the younger dudes, he would have been fine.
But no. No way was he gonna let the young guys get all the attention. His part gagged me. Too creepy.
But yes. As for the rest of the guys? Just stand your ass there and look good.
Carrie recently posted..Magic has never made me blush quite so much. And I’ve had me a little magic before, too.
I might actually have to go see that on the big screen now! Haha! I have been to one of those real life places before and it’s not nearly as entertaining as it looks in a movie, but you do have to go at least once in your life just to say you have.
Amanda recently posted..You Just Never Know What Might Be Hiding Under The Bed…
Agree, agree, agree. Nancy and I said the same thing.
As a matter of fact, I think she said something like, “You know, men are never as hot has male strippers in movies and women are never as hot as female strippers in movies.”
I had to agree.
I think the last time I went, I was like 23 and I remember saying something like, “Is THIS it?”
Not reeeeal sure just what else I was expecting. Young and dumb though…young and dumb.
Carrie recently posted..Magic has never made me blush quite so much. And I’ve had me a little magic before, too.
I love it!! You made me want to go now…. lol
I say do it! Get some girlfriends and do it! =)
I’m off to line up for tickets, and its not even playing here yet…
Karyn recently posted..A Day in the Life
HAHA! You nut! But I’m not so sure that’s a bad idea…=)
Matthew McConaughey always plays the same guy – the guy from Dazed and Confused!
And also, what I REALLY want to know is, if 3D is all the rage, why isn’t *THIS* movie in 3D?
angelika recently posted..Everywhere you look…there’s smoke.
Sister, I’m not sure my ticker could have taken 3D!!
However, I’d be more than happy to take one for the team and try it out. Because yes, I’m that kind of girl.
=)
My friend and I were just talking about this today and how it would be embarrassing to sit there and watch this show! But now I think her and I need to go see it together so we can do the same thing you just did! “I’d have to put my glasses on” = favorite line ever!!
Let me tell you…it is not a movie I’d enjoy by myself. Having the girlfriends giggling and pointing with you is where all the fun is.
At first, we were a tad embarrassed but about 15 minutes into it we were all but high-fiving each other!
=)
Oh girl, you are hilllarious! Thanks for the review on the movie.
Regina recently posted..Gimme some lovin . . . getting coupons you want!
Regina, you’re such a doll. I think we laughed more than we laughed in a long time…and that was such fun!
I saw a gal walking out of a matinee the other day. Smoking a cigarette.
Maggie S. recently posted..Wordful Wednesday: Pinterest Eyebrow Tutorial
Oh, God. Were you in Austin????
I swear. It was only one.
=)
Carrie recently posted..Magic has never made me blush quite so much. And I’ve had me a little magic before, too.
When you publish your book, Carrie, the title needs to be APPLY TWANG AS NEEDED.
I need to get my eyes checked, because when I read your post the first time, I thought you wrote that you tried the thing with the chair and got splinters in your sphincter.
Jef recently posted..Word Up Wednesday: Overpotatolated
Now that title just might work. Cause Lord knows…you gotta use my twang in your head to understand my words.
Love that.
And well, if I did try the thing with the chair, that is PRECISELY where splinters might end up.
And in anyone’s standing around watching.
Twang on auto as soon as soon as I saw the e-mail. I too went to “one of those places” a milion years ago and could not agree more! And they wanted a dollar a kiss?! IDTS. What is up with the “right in your face”- not really where we want it. I just hate McConahayhayhay messed that up. I’m just going to wait for DVD, so thanks, Carrie for taking one for the team, I appreciate that.
No problem, sister. A girl has to do what a girl has to do.
It’s all about the teamwork.
=)
Carrie recently posted..Magic has never made me blush quite so much. And I’ve had me a little magic before, too.
I’ve heard this movie is pretty good. The only thing I’ve seen in the theater lately is Madagascar 3. Still, there was this one little creature singing, “It’s getting hot in “herre” I’ll take off all my fur. I am getting so hot, I’m gonna take my fur off.”
I laughed so hard my child thought I was insane.
Barbara recently posted..Paleo Dentistry? Is That A Thing?
I would have been right there with you on that one! THAT is funny!
Carrie recently posted..Magic has never made me blush quite so much. And I’ve had me a little magic before, too.
But what about the plot?
{Joking.}
Jennifer recently posted..Monthly Dinner Menu {Update}
Plot? There was a plot?
=)
From what I’ve heard? No, there wasn’t.
Jennifer recently posted..Project 365, Week 27
I can’t stop thinking about Magic Mike.
I know I was too old for that movie and my sister and I tried to find a strip club to go to THAT night (after seeing the movie) but then….we realized, we couldn’t stay up that late. Because we’re old.
Alright, alright, alright!
Connie Weiss recently posted..Super Fan
THAT night? You tried to find a strip club THAT night? I am dying!
I’m a little old for it, too. Though it does kill me to admit that. But again, dude can dance. It’s been many years I could feel myself blush like that.
But every now and then I think it’s totally ok to be creepy. =)
Actually…..we tried to find a strip club at 4pm THAT day. We went to a bar right after the showing and got tanked. My husband was driving so we took advantage.
Of him driving. Not OF him.
He also complained that his *window of opportunity* closed too quickly because he took me to a bar….because then I was too tired.
iKeith should really be glad we don’t live closer.
I don’t know him and yet, I think I love him. Dude sounds like a riot! Just the fact that he was driving makes him A-OK in my book!
“Window of opportunity.” Friggin awesome. =)
I am worried about Mr. Alright Alright Alright being in it. I think he would ruin it for me.
You know…he almost could have for me.
I just am so thankful Channing can groove. =)
Dude..now I’ll have to see it..but maybe renting it at home will be better?
Krystyn recently posted..The lost one (The sappy one) | WW
It was a great time……and, yes, Chuck would ‘let’ me go to one of those places; however, those boys are old/young enough to be my son. Sorta weird, huh ?
VERY weird.
And well…now that I think about it, why go to one of those places when there’s Chuck at home?
Good man you have, my sweet friend…good man.
(And he’s darn lucky, too!)