Magic has never made me blush quite so much. And I’ve had me a little magic before, too.

July 3, 2012 in Me and My Public Self

All the crap below is just a random sampling of what either I said to myself in my head during Magic Mike or to my sweet friend, Nancy, who had the pleasure of sitting next to me.

Lucky her, huh?

(At least 73 times, Nancy and I jerked a look at each other and threw our hands over our wide-open gaping mouths giggling.)

(Like silly girls who haven’t seen a hot, young, gyrating, sweaty, buff, bronzed, gym-ified, naked baby making machine in years.)

(Well, I can only speak for me.  Who knows about her, right?)

(Oh.  And apply the twang as needed.)

“Whoa.”

“Sweet mother of all things young, sweaty and rock-ass-solid…dude’s got it going on.”

“I swear to you, I did NOT know a dude’s body could do that.”

“My God he can dance.  And he’s white.”

“I’ll kill every fiber in the ass of my nieces’ if they ever go to one of those clubs.”

“Shit, I’m too old for this.  But no…I’m staying.”

“How did he get her from her seat to…well…up that high?”

“We shouldn’t be sitting this close to the front.  Every thing is, well…bigger.”

“He’s way too young for me to be looking at.  But you straight-up know I am.”

“Oh, my God.  Is that his…oh, wow.”

“My nieces are dead of they even think about it.  Dead, I tell you.”

“If I tried that with a chair I’d end up with splinters in places no splinter should ever be.”

“McConaughey is ruining this for me.”

“Son of a bi….how the hell did he DO that?”

“No man over the age of 24 should ever even THINK of doing any of this.  It just would NOT be the same.”

“Whoooooa.”

“That’s a good song.  Robert, my gay friend who refuses to marry me, loves it.  He sings it all the damn time.”

“I’m not sure an umbrella has ever looked so good.  Or so long.”

“If that bastard McConaughey says ‘AlrightAlrightAlriiiight’ just one more time…”

“I ain’t ever seen a cowboy look that good and girl I have seen me some cowboys.”

“Why do they always put it right there?  In your face.  Like you need to see it all up close.  Damn.”

“Whoa.”

“Why, hello Mr. Army man.”

“I mean, it’s right ‘there’.  In her face.  Isn’t that kinda close?  I’d have to put on my glasses.”

“Think Chuck would ever let you go to one of those clubs?”

“I didn’t say ‘I’ wanted to go…I just asked if Chuck would let YOU go!  I’m just asking!”

The absolute best part for me was the giggling and the pointing and the overly loud whispers of “OHMYGODOHMYGODDIDYOUSEETHAT?!?” to my sweet friend next to me.

(And I’m still waiting to hear if Chuck would ever let her go.)

(Just curious.  That’s all.)

(Don’t judge.)

{ 36 comments }

Becca July 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Your post just made me a million times more excited to go see this movie tonight. Yay!!!
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Carrie July 3, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Girl…it is good, but lemme tell you…I blushed like I ain’t blushed in a loooong time.

Yes. It’s THAT good. =)

Anne July 3, 2012 at 8:25 pm

OMG, I SO WISH we could have gone to see this together! I went on Sunday and had a lot of those same thoughts. I think the two I thought the most were “Why the f is Matthew McConaughy so damn creepy?” and “Awww… Channing. We love you baby, but don’t try to act. Just dance around half naked, thankyouverymuch”.
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Carrie July 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

I KNOW! I thought the same thing! If McConaughey would have just f’ing acted and wasn’t so consumed with trying to be hot like the younger dudes, he would have been fine.

But no. No way was he gonna let the young guys get all the attention. His part gagged me. Too creepy.

But yes. As for the rest of the guys? Just stand your ass there and look good.
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Amanda July 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm

I might actually have to go see that on the big screen now! Haha! I have been to one of those real life places before and it’s not nearly as entertaining as it looks in a movie, but you do have to go at least once in your life just to say you have.
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Carrie July 3, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Agree, agree, agree. Nancy and I said the same thing.

As a matter of fact, I think she said something like, “You know, men are never as hot has male strippers in movies and women are never as hot as female strippers in movies.”

I had to agree.

I think the last time I went, I was like 23 and I remember saying something like, “Is THIS it?”

Not reeeeal sure just what else I was expecting. Young and dumb though…young and dumb.
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Kathryn Alexander July 3, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I love it!! You made me want to go now…. lol

Carrie July 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

I say do it! Get some girlfriends and do it! =)

Karyn July 3, 2012 at 10:34 pm

I’m off to line up for tickets, and its not even playing here yet…
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Carrie July 4, 2012 at 7:38 am

HAHA! You nut! But I’m not so sure that’s a bad idea…=)

angelika July 4, 2012 at 12:00 am

Matthew McConaughey always plays the same guy – the guy from Dazed and Confused!

And also, what I REALLY want to know is, if 3D is all the rage, why isn’t *THIS* movie in 3D? :)
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Carrie July 4, 2012 at 7:39 am

Sister, I’m not sure my ticker could have taken 3D!!

However, I’d be more than happy to take one for the team and try it out. Because yes, I’m that kind of girl.

=)

Candice July 4, 2012 at 2:50 am

My friend and I were just talking about this today and how it would be embarrassing to sit there and watch this show! But now I think her and I need to go see it together so we can do the same thing you just did! “I’d have to put my glasses on” = favorite line ever!!

Carrie July 4, 2012 at 7:42 am

Let me tell you…it is not a movie I’d enjoy by myself. Having the girlfriends giggling and pointing with you is where all the fun is.

At first, we were a tad embarrassed but about 15 minutes into it we were all but high-fiving each other!

=)

Regina July 4, 2012 at 5:40 am

Oh girl, you are hilllarious! Thanks for the review on the movie.
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Carrie July 4, 2012 at 7:43 am

Regina, you’re such a doll. I think we laughed more than we laughed in a long time…and that was such fun!

Maggie S. July 4, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I saw a gal walking out of a matinee the other day. Smoking a cigarette.
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Carrie July 4, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Oh, God. Were you in Austin????

I swear. It was only one.

=)
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Jef July 4, 2012 at 3:12 pm

When you publish your book, Carrie, the title needs to be APPLY TWANG AS NEEDED.

I need to get my eyes checked, because when I read your post the first time, I thought you wrote that you tried the thing with the chair and got splinters in your sphincter.
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Carrie July 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Now that title just might work. Cause Lord knows…you gotta use my twang in your head to understand my words.

Love that.

And well, if I did try the thing with the chair, that is PRECISELY where splinters might end up.

And in anyone’s standing around watching.

L.Hewitt July 4, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Twang on auto as soon as soon as I saw the e-mail. I too went to “one of those places” a milion years ago and could not agree more! And they wanted a dollar a kiss?! IDTS. What is up with the “right in your face”- not really where we want it. I just hate McConahayhayhay messed that up. I’m just going to wait for DVD, so thanks, Carrie for taking one for the team, I appreciate that.

Carrie July 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

No problem, sister. A girl has to do what a girl has to do.

It’s all about the teamwork.

=)
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Barbara July 4, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I’ve heard this movie is pretty good. The only thing I’ve seen in the theater lately is Madagascar 3. Still, there was this one little creature singing, “It’s getting hot in “herre” I’ll take off all my fur. I am getting so hot, I’m gonna take my fur off.”

I laughed so hard my child thought I was insane. :)
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Carrie July 9, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I would have been right there with you on that one! THAT is funny!
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Jennifer July 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

But what about the plot?

{Joking.}
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Carrie July 9, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Plot? There was a plot?

=)

Jennifer July 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

From what I’ve heard? No, there wasn’t.
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Connie Weiss July 6, 2012 at 8:50 am

I can’t stop thinking about Magic Mike.

I know I was too old for that movie and my sister and I tried to find a strip club to go to THAT night (after seeing the movie) but then….we realized, we couldn’t stay up that late. Because we’re old.

Alright, alright, alright!
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Carrie July 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

THAT night? You tried to find a strip club THAT night? I am dying!

I’m a little old for it, too. Though it does kill me to admit that. But again, dude can dance. It’s been many years I could feel myself blush like that.

But every now and then I think it’s totally ok to be creepy. =)

Connie Weiss July 9, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Actually…..we tried to find a strip club at 4pm THAT day. We went to a bar right after the showing and got tanked. My husband was driving so we took advantage.

Of him driving. Not OF him.

He also complained that his *window of opportunity* closed too quickly because he took me to a bar….because then I was too tired.

Carrie July 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm

iKeith should really be glad we don’t live closer.

I don’t know him and yet, I think I love him. Dude sounds like a riot! Just the fact that he was driving makes him A-OK in my book!

“Window of opportunity.” Friggin awesome. =)

Bobbi July 7, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I am worried about Mr. Alright Alright Alright being in it. I think he would ruin it for me.

Carrie July 9, 2012 at 2:03 pm

You know…he almost could have for me.

I just am so thankful Channing can groove. =)

Krystyn July 10, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Dude..now I’ll have to see it..but maybe renting it at home will be better?
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Nancy July 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm

It was a great time……and, yes, Chuck would ‘let’ me go to one of those places; however, those boys are old/young enough to be my son. Sorta weird, huh ?

Carrie July 13, 2012 at 7:24 pm

VERY weird.

And well…now that I think about it, why go to one of those places when there’s Chuck at home?

Good man you have, my sweet friend…good man.

(And he’s darn lucky, too!)

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