I might not have kids but I’ll embarrass them anyway. And others as well. But I can take it, too.

Sometimes I embarrass my family.

(OK.  Maybe more than ‘sometimes’…maybe.)

Because I told people on Facebook this was my family:

 

And it’s not.

That right there is good stuff to me.  Really good stuff.

And I probably even embarrass the kids I don’t have.  Because I put this on Facebook yesterday:

And the kids can just cut any attitude they might have because of this.  I’m not putting up with it.  I’m their almost-could-be momma.

Deal with it, kiddos.  Deal with it.

(Though that pic probably ain’t too far from what the truth would be.)

Then there was that time the sister and I took the shortest long-ass road trip ever and I took Beyonce and she placed her order at Sonic:

Yeah, I was kinda hated for that.  Amongst other things.  Like when I was gonna get the cop that pulled us over on that trip to let me get Beyonce’s picture with him but then I got scared to ask because he stuck his head in the window barking about the sister having a suspened license or something like that and now I don’t really remember too much about that part because I was too busy trying to cram Beyonce back into my purse so he wouldn’t confiscate her.

Because she is much like a weapon.

Her beak is ridiculously sharp.

It’s like a shiv.

Actually, I think it IS a shiv.

(I like that word.)

(Shiv.)

 Anyway.

Sometimes the tables are turned and it’s my turn to maybe be a tad embarrassed.

(Not really.)

(I haven’t found that shame yet I keep saying I need to find so I could even be embarrassed.)

(I sometimes kinda procrastinate.)

(No shit.)

Anyway.

Had dinner with a friend last night.  Who I might add…blogs.

Katherine the Great.

Once I was seated in the booth and my vino was ordered, I texted her to let her know I was there and to not rush…show up whenever.

Boy, did she show up.

IN FULL HARLEY DAVIDSON GEAR.

Oh, yes she did.

And yeah.  Texas.  101*.

Now, ok.  Once upon a time I rode my own Harley.  And she just wanted to bring back some old memories of those days for me, I’m sure.

(Yes, I did.  Here’s proof:)

(Yeah.  That’s mens underwear up top.  I don’t know why either.)

But back to Katie.

She doesn’t ride ON a Harley.

She rides IN a Nissan Leaf.

Which was really friggin hysterical to watch this badass biker chick swag her way out to her Leaf in full gear to leave the restaurant.

People kinda stared.

(What did I ever do in my previous life to deserve this?!?)

I laughed so hard…I kinda cried.

Maybe pee’d.

Maybe.  A little.

(And don’t look at the arm flap up there in that underwear pic.)

(When the shit did THAT start growing?)

(It looks like a damn bat wing.)

Holy schmoley.