LUX: Since I’m not over here, I must be over there. Vol. 08192012

August 19, 2012 in LUX: Since I'm not over here, I must be over there.

Yep, the girls over at Lux Magazine threw their hands up and surrendered.  They let me write for them again.

They’re getting easier and easier to wear down though, I must admit.

And over there, I’m rattling about ONE thing in life I just can’t seem to love to like.

However, let’s be real.

Even though they don’t compare to that ONE thing that I’m rattling about over at Lux…there are a FEW things in life I just can’t seem to love to like.

For instance:

Having a chicken breast tossed at me during lunch.  Uh, huh.  Yep.  And it was by the restaurant dude.  I’ll tell you about that later.

Having a scorpion drop down on me at 12:42 am.  From the ceiling.  When I’m asleep.  In my bed.  Yep.  I told you about that earlier this week.

Asparagus.

The word cuddle.  (Not the act…the word itself.  It just doesn’t roll off the tongue good.)

When Brad Pitt is mentioned anytime I read something about Jennifer Aniston.

Seeing ‘Happy Birthday’ abbreviated as HBD.  (Really?  Are you so friggin lazy you can’t jot that shit out?)

Constant reminders from people to vote.  The signs all over the parking lots and along the side of the streets are plenty.  I can read.

Talk Like a Pirate Day.

This whole 9/10 of a cent stuff at the gas stations.

Women who “forget to eat.”  (How does anyone “forget” to eat?  I might “forget” to wash clothes.  Or shave my legs.  Or wave at the neighbors…but “forget” to eat?  I don’t hardly think so.)

One dimensional people on Facebook who post on the same subject over and over and over again.  (I need variety.  And we know it’s all about me.)

(SOMEBODY SHUT ME UP!)

And since it appears I could go on and on…I’ll admit that the one thing I can’t seem to love to like is:

Dating.

Well, not actually “dating” when it’s the same hot guy who is terribly good to me and appears to have been raised to know how women should be treated.

(Hell, “I” didn’t even know I should be treated this good.)

No.  Not that kind of dating.  The online kind.

Some love it.  And if you do, I’m overjoyed.  Tickled.  Ecstatic.  Weepy.  Jealous.

It’s just something I’ve never learned to get all misty over.

And so I’m rattling about it over at Lux Magazine this week.

And that little gem you’ll read over there is true.  It did happen.  A long time ago…but I think it left a big scar.

On my psyche.

Wait.  I’m pretty sure it did.

Anyway.

While yes, there are things I’m not in love with…there are a few things I am in love with.

(OK.  ‘In love’ might be stretching it.  I’m not that romantic, believe it or not.)

I love Sassy Auto Frames.  Sara (who runs the joint) is a doll.  Or she is through email.  Sweet, sweet girl.  And it’s not just auto frames that she does over there.  Nope.  All kinds of cool stuff.  And stuff that is shiney and blingy.

And if I could convince the boss to let me have a hot pink/zebra stripped port-a-potty in my cube…I’d totally get Sara to make it all sparkly and shiney and blingy for me.

(The boss won’t even entertain the idea.)

(But that doesn’t keep me from asking.)

(Even though now he doesn’t even waste the words, “uh…no” when I ask.  I just get eye rolls.)

(Pray for him.  He tolerates a lot.  And I mean A LOT.)

(I should just shut up and be happy he lets me keep my pink flamingos in my cube, huh?)

Anyway.

Facebook is another thing I like.  Click that button up there to the upper right and “like” me.  (That sounds so junior high school-ish.)

Twitter?  Not so much.  But I’m there, too.

But what I like the most is you.  And how you always make me laugh and giggle and glow with your comments.

Yes.  I like you.  Lots.  Tons.

So, go!  Go leave me some comments over at Lux Magaine!

Barbara August 19, 2012 at 7:34 am

Can we add the people on Facebook that saying HBD, while posting something political, and making the duck face all at the same time?
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Carrie August 19, 2012 at 8:15 am

I KNOW! It’s never-ending for some! And the duck-face…oh, God…the duck-face.

Jef August 19, 2012 at 1:31 pm

You know, I feel the same way about the word “cuddle.” It’s just one letter away from “curdle.” Well, I guess there’s an extra “d” to contend with, but you get the picture. Now, what were we talking about?
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Carrie August 19, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Jef, we see things way too much alike. I’m not sure if that’s good for you, though!

‘Curdle’ has officially been added to my list of words I don’t love. Cause you KNOW I have one.

=)

L.Hewitt August 19, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Please add yogurt. Just sounds disgusting. You did throw that chicken back didn’t you? Scorpion free?

Carrie August 19, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Tutz, I am scorpion free! Thank God almighty…free at last, I’m free at last.

Ooohh. Yogurt. Now, while I do like yogurt, you got me looking at the word. It’s the ‘gurt’ part for me. ‘Yo’ is fine…but ‘gurt’?

I’ll pass on that.

L.Hewitt August 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

exactly

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell August 20, 2012 at 10:21 pm

On the 9/10 of a cent of gas…so with you. It’s stupid!!!!!
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Carrie August 21, 2012 at 10:32 am

I’ve never understood that crap.

Thank God shoes aren’t priced like that.

Donna Spears August 20, 2012 at 10:45 pm

I was a little bit shocked about your post when you mentioned that there’s scorpion that dropped down on you! Ohhh, that’s really frightening. But there’s nothing more frightening than a falling snake! I really hate that incident. Actually it happened to me twice!
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Carrie August 21, 2012 at 10:33 am

Oh yeah…the scorpion thing happened last week. STILL not sleeping that good because of that.

But a snake?!? Donna, girl…I’m not sure I’d ever go outside again! =)

mark August 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Seems like there are a couple things in the near future that you’re going to need to avoid. The election and Talk Like a Pirate Day to be specific. I avoid Facebook like herpes so I’ll be unable to “like” you via that button, but rest assured, I do still like you, Carrie, with or without Facebook.

Carrie August 21, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Ooohh…good call, Mark. Thanks for the heads up on those.

And Mark, I just love you and Bitsy with or without Facebook! Y’all are pretty fab in my book. =)

Connie Weiss August 21, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I look stupid when I made the duck face. Is that normal/
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Carrie August 21, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Stupid? Uh, no.

Cute as hell? Uh, yes.

Normal? Really…are any of us ‘normal’??

=)

Maggie S. August 21, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Haven’t you told him that if you didn’t have to go all the way to the ladies room you’d save so much time…
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Carrie August 22, 2012 at 7:57 am

I’ve tried everything. Even told him I’d let him mount a TV on top so he could watch crap from in his office.

No go.

I’m not done yet though…=)

Fashionista Era August 22, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Awww sweetheart…yr blog has become my daily dose of laughter now eheheh its like my own personal funny section in the newspapers i get to by skipping the rest of the pages hehehe…!! Loved it and OH i sooooo agree about BRad Pitt thing – I mean come on Jennifer aniston dated like 5 guys now and shes engaged but ppl wont let it go i guess!!! So damn silly..! Lol… :p

Have a great week ahead! Biggest hugs!
Cheers
Hanz
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Fashionista Era August 22, 2012 at 4:40 pm

BTw CONGRATS on the LUX Mag feature – Fab stuff I would love to see you writing in the new york times next or the big magazine hosues ;) Why not…It shd happen! Hugsss
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ColdBlooded August 22, 2012 at 9:02 pm

You have flamingos in your cubical?!?! I am extremely jealous and immediately purchasing my own flamingo.
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Karyn September 9, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I was distracted by the scorpion thing. I’m not sure if I have missed the post on that, but I’m going looking. That might just be the number one thing you never want to happen to you. I think I might have a heart attack. I just cant imagine. And YOU! (of all people). No offense, but like me, I suspect you wouldn’t handle that well….

Hey, congrats on the writing you’ve been doing girl! Great stuff!
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