I apparently lost my calm and mature self at “I do.”

April 24, 2013 in Me and My Public Self

By now, most everyone in the free world knows I’m married.

I won’t shut up about it.

Literally.

(I think it was mentioned in some press conference on TV the other night, but I was outside jumping up trying to see over the fence asking the neighbors if they knew I got married.)

(They knew.)

Anyway.

When I was single, I dealt with:

1.  a flat tire or two

2.  a garage door opener that wouldn’t open the garage door one day after work so I had to stand on the smoldering hood of the car barefooted trying to manually open it

C.  and a date request from a homeless dude I just gave fried chicken to

And for some reason when you’re kinda pretty much on your own and find yourself stuck in a situation, you tend not to panic right away.

You deal with it.

(Then panic later over a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra.)

(While watching Judge Judy.)

(Reruns.)

Now that I’m (ehem…) married, I kinda panic.

Like last night.

My daughter (I love saying that.  I always wanted a daughter but never wanted to deal with that birthing stuff.  And swore that if I ever married again, there’d be no ex-wife.  Been there, done that before.  There is no ex-wife now so I get to call her my very own.  I have a daughter now.  All mine.  And well, his, too…but still mine.) wanted to do take-out since Keith (her dad, the cutest boy in the world who I married) had to work last night.

I’m totally hip to not doing leftovers and so I succumbed.

(I don’t even know what that word means…it just sounded good.)

I agreed to pick up Chipotle.

Got there, picked up the take out, got back in the car, cranked it up and:  NOTHING.

Again:  NOTHING.

17 tries later:  NOTHING.

I kinda started to get creepy-eyed.  I called Keith and did my best to sound calm and mature.

Me:  “OH MY GOD THE CAR WON’T START AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG I’VE NEVER HAD TROUBLE WITH IT BEFORE AND I’M AT CHIPOTLE AND PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME AND THIS BURRITO IS SMELLING UP MY CAR AND I HAVE TO PEE.  BAD!”

Keith:  “Baby, slow down.  What’s happening?”

Me:  “I DON’T KNOW I JUST KEEP TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING AND IT WON’T START AND OH MY GOD THE RADIO WON’T EVEN COME ON!  IT’S HOT!  I NEED AIR!  I CAN’T BREATHE!  I CAN’T AFFORD ANOTHER CAR RIGHT NOW!  OH MY GOD I GOTTA PEE!”

Keith:  “OK…If you will look in the glove compartment, your insurance card is in there and it has a number for Roadside Assistance on it.  They will be able to get to you quicker than I can.  Call the number and they will walk you through what to do.  Then call me back.”

Me:  “OK I HAVE THE CARD AND I SEE THE NUMBER SO LET ME GO CALL!  I CAN’T BREATHE!  THE RADIO WON’T COME ON!”

(It was approximately 73* outside.)

I called and got the nicest little insurance man on the phone and I immediately felt calm and mature.

4 minutes later…I’m still waiting for Roadside Assistance Dude to show.  So, I texted my daughter to let her know I’d be late with dinner.

Cayla Text 1

 

Cayla Text 2

(That’s scary..)

(Sweet thing.  God love her…she was so concerned.)

(I’m glad I was able to show her it’s always best to remain calm and mature during situations.  And to never panic.)

(SHE changed her name on my phone to read “Cayla is My All Time Favorite”…imagine that.)

13 minutes later, the Roadside Assistance Dude was under the hood.

With the battery defibrillator or whatever that thing is.

It cranked right up.

(Staying calm and mature apparently has it’s perks.)

I’m a tipper.  I had no cash.  However, I WAS perched right up in front of Chipotle.

Me:  “Thank you for making it here so quick and being so kind.  You’ve been a great help.  I’d like to give you something but I have no cash.  Can I buy you dinner?”

Roadside Assistance Dude:  “Uh, well, uh…uh, well…errr…ok.”

(I swear he thought I was making a move on him.)

I then whipped out my phone and opened up my cool little Chipotle app and immediately went into waitress mode.

Me:  “Would you like a Burrito, Burrito Bowl, Tacos or a Salad?  And what about beans? Black or pinto?  Guacamole?”

He stood at my car door googly-eyed.  He almost looked scared.  Frozen in fear, if you will.

Anyway.

We (I) finished up his order and I told him it would be paid for and ready to go in about 7 minutes through my app, and I scooted him across the parking lot to the restaurant.  He stood on the curb, mouth open and no words said as I waved goodbye.

I made it home and dinner was scrumpt.  Cayla was happy and her concern for me had subsided.  Plus, ‘The Big Bang Theory’ was on.

This morning, Keith had to drive me to work so he could take care of my car battery during the day.  It was then I felt it necessary to tell him I asked another man to dinner last night.

Me:  “Soooo.  I bought the Roadside Assistance Dude dinner last night.”

Keith:  “You did what?”  (All scrunchy-faced and in pure disbelief.)

Me:  “Yeah.  I didn’t have cash to tip him.  It was a nice thing to do.  He could have been having a bad day or he might have been broke or he might have just got the news his mother has some dreaded, bone-disintegrating disease and by me buying him a burrito, I made him feel better.”

Keith:  “Of course you did.  We’ve been married for less than one month and you’re telling me you bought another man dinner last night?”

Me:  “Yep.  I’m nice like that.”

Keith:  “My goodness, I love you.”

Me:  “I know.”

 

Jennifer April 24, 2013 at 1:56 pm

Please keep blogging.
Jennifer recently posted..Are You a Candy Crush Addict?My Profile

Carrie April 24, 2013 at 2:31 pm

You know, that means TONS to me coming from you. TONS. Thank you.

I didn’t realize how much I missed it until Keith kinda mentioned how he wished I’d make time for it again. I’m not even sure he reads it…but he says he knows it’s something I enjoy so he wants me to crank it back up.

Might be a subtle hint for me to get out of his hair every now and then. =)

Barbara April 24, 2013 at 3:30 pm

LOVE IT! I can totally see the expression on roadside dude’s face….and Keith’s face (all scrunchy). HAHA
Barbara recently posted..Spring CleaningMy Profile

Carrie April 24, 2013 at 3:38 pm

Poor dude didn’t know what to think…a date? A tip? A free meal? Just a lonely ol’woman??

Kristy April 24, 2013 at 7:37 pm

Adorable! Simply adorable! I love that you found love ~ with TWO!!!

Carrie April 24, 2013 at 8:33 pm

Thanks, girl! I did…life just got way better than I ever thought it could get!!

Regina April 24, 2013 at 7:42 pm

So glad to see you back!

I am thankful you were in a safe location when this happened and that your hubby took care of your battery.

Not to mention he doesn’t mind you taking other men on to dinner now and then. Way to pay it forward!
Regina recently posted..Recipe: Salted Caramel Pots de Crème with Whipped Cream and Sea SaltMy Profile

Carrie April 24, 2013 at 8:34 pm

He definitely has a great sense of humor and takes me with a grain of salt…that’s for sure!

Stacie (the smart sister) April 24, 2013 at 7:58 pm

Hhmmmm….so when you were single and called me screaming about a bug in your apt, that wasn’t panicking? Good to know.

Carrie April 24, 2013 at 8:36 pm

I’m sure there were other things that happened. It’s just that the little bug incident didn’t come to mind.

Or the crazy dude knocking on the door. Just be glad I have someone else to pester now…you owe him, you know.

=)

Lisa Guedry April 24, 2013 at 9:03 pm

I love that you have a daughter now….I’ll say one of the things that Bailey says to me when she REALLY loves me…”You make my heart!!!” So Carrie, YOU MAKE MY HEART!!!!

Carrie April 25, 2013 at 8:10 am

Awww!!! That is friggin awesome!! You make my heart, too!!

katie metzroth April 24, 2013 at 11:16 pm

My favorite part is that your lack of music was one of the main concerns. You might wet yourself, but what’s important here is the soundtrack.
katie metzroth recently posted..4KCBWDAY3 – House of Flying MonkeyMy Profile

Carrie April 25, 2013 at 8:13 am

Girl, in my mind I was going to be beaten to a pulp and left in the parking lot to die. With a burrito laying on the asphalt next to me.

Both of us outlined in chalk.

I needed good background music for it. You know? =)

Poppy April 24, 2013 at 11:58 pm

I agree with Jennifer and you have tons of new material now!
Poppy recently posted..Benefits of Greek Yogurt? Skinny Jeans!My Profile

Carrie April 25, 2013 at 8:16 am

Thanks so much…and tons of new material is putting it lightly!

DOD April 25, 2013 at 5:39 am

….. hmmm …. I was your “roadside assistance guy” for years and never even got a Taco Bell ….

Carrie April 25, 2013 at 7:53 am

I know, I know. The next time I come up to see you and Mom, I’ll bring a bean burrito and a beef mexi-melt. I’ll even bring the salsa packets!

Love you, Dad. =)

Breane April 25, 2013 at 1:12 pm

You always make me laugh – thank you! :)
Breane recently posted..Uhhhhh…My Profile

Carrie April 25, 2013 at 1:48 pm

No, thank YOU.

If I can make one person laugh each day, I feel like a better person.

Lisa Hewitt April 25, 2013 at 1:45 pm

You are soooo married. Girl, pretty soon you won’t even remember how to change a light bulb or pump gas or worry about scorpions.(That’s what happened to me and I like it.) I was wondering if he knew you blogged. Please don’t stop. I had almost lost my Texas twang. Oh -and I want your daughter, in a totally non-creepy way. She just sounds awesome. That guy probably told e’rybody about his dinner, that was so sweet.

Carrie April 25, 2013 at 2:10 pm

Let me tell you, marrying this man is the best thing I’ve ever done.

Get this. On his day off, he drove me to work (1 hour commute), fixed my battery, filled up the gas tank, washed the car, then picked me up from work (again…1 hour commute).

Then actually said, “Sorry I didn’t get a chance to vaccuum and clean out the inside before picking you up.”

Not kidding. The man is a pure saint.

Lisa Hewitt April 25, 2013 at 4:42 pm

Oh, he is sooo married too! Love it, Love it, Love it. Keep Blogging, Please.

Maggie S. April 25, 2013 at 7:47 pm

How do you turn such mundane difficulties into so much fun.
Maggie S. recently posted..The Heartbreak ImperativeMy Profile

Maggie S. April 25, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Question Mark?
Maggie S. recently posted..The Heartbreak ImperativeMy Profile

Carrie April 26, 2013 at 7:42 am

Sister, I’ve learned if I can’t laugh at me…I can’t laugh at anyone else!

=)

Love you to pieces.

Beth April 26, 2013 at 3:41 pm

I *KNEW* there was a reason I kept you in my news feed. Glad you’re back and grats on getting married and gaining not only a husband but a daughter too.

Carrie April 26, 2013 at 3:45 pm

YAY!! So glad you kept me around!

Thank you…the new fam has been fun and pure blog fodder. And they don’t even realize it yet.

=)

Carrie's Experimental Kitchen April 29, 2013 at 7:53 am

What a sweet thing to do and I’m sure he was thrilled!
Carrie’s Experimental Kitchen recently posted..Vanilla Almond Onion StrawsMy Profile

Kim June 12, 2013 at 8:13 am

Have I mentioned how happy I am that you’re back :)

You’re daughter sounds amazing and I can’t wait to read about this teenage journey you are navigating with her. I will be taking notes.
Kim recently posted..U-Pick…Who Knew?My Profile

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: