It’s about a bag. And me. OK…it’s about two bags. And a brownie.

April 30, 2013 in Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

Every couple of weeks, I’m required to travel for the job.

(“Required?”  I don’t think so.  I begged to take the position.  More like groveled.)

(Before I got hitched.)

(Now, when I’m gone that one night every other week, it makes Keith miss me.)

(Really bad.)

(Which is really good.)  (For me.)

Anyway.

A friend of mine since 2nd grade recently opened an online boutique so I thought I’d do my good deed for the year and make a purchase.  You know, I’m always willing to help a sister out. 

(I sound like I’m trying to be all fancy schmancy using ’boutique’, huh?)

(I’ll be getting back to why I said I’m traveling.  You know I bounce around like a hooker looking for a better street light.)

I ordered a purse.  Or so I thought.

It came in yesterday….juuuust as I was starting to pull out the old dingey, black with old-lint-stuck-in-the-zipper luggage and the big, so-old-it-won’t-keep-its-shape-anymore dumb bag to pack for my one night away rendevous with a room service menu and hotel pool.

(Remember that little ditty there:  So-old-it-won’t-keep-its-shape.  Cause it’s gonna re-haunt us a few words later.)

SWEET MOTHER OF ALL PURSES HOLY!  I HIT THE JACKPOT!

A purse?  I don’t think so.  More like the most perfect bag ever.

Not only did I choose the hottest bag in her boutique…it’s sheer perfection for traveling overnight!

Big Ass Bag 1

 

Would you look at the colors?? Really, look.  Enlarge the pic if you have to…but LOOK.   Hot pink…zebra striped…what more could I ask for??

(Besides the ability to eat cake icing and there be no repercussions, of course.)

It is completely me.

A complete lifesaver.  No more big old dingey, black with old-lint-stuck-in-the-zipper luggage OR the big, so-old-it-won’t-keep-its-shape-anymore dumb bag.  Nope.  Just me, all the crap I gotta bring from the office, and my new swanky bag. 

And don’t think I wasn’t working it when I swanked right through the hotel lobby.  The only thing missing was runway music and a fan.

Well, and a photographer.  And an announcement of who I am when the sliding glass doors whizzed open.

I packed my whole life for one night in this bag.  Clothes and all.

(I used to be a flight attendant so I can pack for a week and only use a brown paper bag.  It’s a talent.)

(Or an OCDC thing or whatever those initials are of whatever it is everybody seems to have these days.)

Check it:

Big Ass Bag

 

(Ignore the room service menu in the corner.)

Go see all the great stuff she has at The RowdyBun Boutique.  You are going to love it!

Now.  Back to me.

I’m away for the night.

In a heavenly hotel room.

Alone.

With a room service menu.

And a skirt that is snugger than it was 2 months ago.  And a bra that has more boobage trying to blow out the top than it did 3 months ago.  And a tattoo that used to look like a fresh, blossoming magnolia but now looks more like the whole damn magnolia tree.

So, what do I do?

I do what any God fearing southern girl would do.  I order a sundae.

FOR DINNER.

Yes.  One with a big, moist fudgey brownie in it.  And whip cream on it.  And the best caramelized pecans ever mixed in it.

I ate it.

The whole thing.

And with no guilt.

Fudge Sundae

I know.  That ain’t right.

If I do this anymore, I’M gonna be one of those so-old-it-won’t-keep-its-shape-anymore dumb bags.

(Remember, I told you it’d re-haunt us.)

Maybe The RowdyBun Boutique has Spanx?  Or a muzzle?  Or maybe a little will power?

HELP.

 

 

DOD April 30, 2013 at 9:53 pm

I’m in a hotel room right now …as I read this … all by myself … (cause mom couldn’t miss a Georgette meeting to go with me) … in Texarkana, Tx … on my way back from Yellville, Ar. … yup … Yellville … oh … there’s room service knocking now … that’s what she gets for not coming with me … I’ll have to eat the whole thing … by myself … brownie and all.

Carrie April 30, 2013 at 10:13 pm

And THAT right there is where I get it!

(You’d think after so many years, mom would’ve learned by now.)

Jef April 30, 2013 at 11:14 pm

Consider me converted and a pass a spoon.

Or throw down the tiara and step away from the sundae, slooooowly.
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Carrie May 1, 2013 at 6:40 am

I gotta say…it was scrumpt.

And even better with no guilt. Ok, maybe a little bit this morning but certainly not enough to bother myself with!

Barbara May 1, 2013 at 1:51 am

Love the bag! Will definitely go check out her site.

Ice cream for dinner sounds like a good trade. Just get the family out walking lots the rest of this week!
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Carrie May 1, 2013 at 10:48 am

Yeah. I’ll send them out for a run so I can sneak more!

Adelyn May 1, 2013 at 9:34 am

I have just recently found your blog and you have to know I am in heaven. I love your humor…so funny. Thank you.
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Carrie May 1, 2013 at 10:51 am

Well, God love it now I’M in heaven! Thank you so much…hearing that is sheer joy to me!

Thank you, thank you!

Wow. That’s awesome, Adelyn.

katie metzroth May 1, 2013 at 3:59 pm

If you’re eating a Sunday in a hotel room with no guilt, then girl, you must have done something right in a past life!
Next time, think of me and go for a swim. I want your heart in great shape so we can be crazy old ladies together!
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katie metzroth May 1, 2013 at 4:18 pm

eating a Sunday? you know, if you can eat a whole day of the week and not worry about gaining weight, that’s pretty sweet. (pun intended)
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Carrie May 1, 2013 at 8:00 pm

It’s been about a hundred years since I’ve done that…and it felt goooood!

Crazy and old is sneaking up on me, too! You still have several years to go though.

At least with the “old” part. =)

katie metzroth May 1, 2013 at 11:30 pm

I tell you what. Eating that much sugar for dinner would shove me towards crazy right quick. You’d be peeling me off the ceiling. 🙂
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Maggie S. May 1, 2013 at 4:27 pm

In spite of all the bitchy words on my blog today…. I am about to go to the soul food joint with my husband and…. Light. It. Up.

Then I will drink my water, take my vitamins, and walk around.

Or whatever.

Nice bag.
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Carrie May 1, 2013 at 8:01 pm

I say DO IT.

That watering and walking and vitamining will balance it all out.

Trust me. I spend my life balancing it all out. =)

Lisa Hewitt May 2, 2013 at 12:49 pm

Now I want a new purse and need a sundae/brownie or I need a purse and want a sundae/brownie. We are grown-ass women – if we want ice cream and brownies for supper – so be it/ while we shop for the purse.

Carrie May 2, 2013 at 12:54 pm

HELL TO THE YEAH! That’s what I’M talking about!

Amen, sister! AMEN!
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Anne May 3, 2013 at 1:33 pm

I always order the most unhealthy foods from room service. What’s the point of having someone bring you food that you eat in the privacy of your own room while wearing a stranger’s robe if you’re not going to eat junk?
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Carrie May 3, 2013 at 1:47 pm

EXACTLY! Thank you…that is it.

Mandy Bullard May 16, 2013 at 11:27 pm

Hey My dear-
I do not know how I missed this blog entry. I’ve read all before and after, but totally missed this one. Thank you SO MUCH for showing the bag and mentioning the RowdyBun Boutique! I SO, SO, SO, SO, SO APPRECIATE IT! you’re the best! And, I hope you really are enjoying the bag- cause I LUUUUUUUV it too!!!!! 🙂

Mandy

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