May 2013

It probably doesn’t matter to you that I didn’t get breakfast in bed, but at least I don’t say “bosom.”

May 27, 2013
Keith Dinner

You know how sometimes your husband wakes up really early on a Saturday morning and decides he wants a gargantuanly large breakfast so he makes omelets filled with vegetables?  And bacon and sausage patties and pancakes with Aunt Jemima syrup (then you tell him that you like Steen’s because it’s really, creepily thick and is a pain in the […]

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And here’s what man shoes left on the floor by the bed in a hotel room will get you with me.

May 20, 2013

So, I was in the hotel room this last weekend with my husband and it was late so I was kinda a little bit asleep because we’d been driving for 5 hours and living on gas station snacks because I’m just like my dad and believe in not stopping until we get there and we […]

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Being barky can be good but being nice so someone else can be nice is better. So, there.

May 16, 2013
Beyonce-Sonic

I don’t normally tell people what to do. (Except every day of my life.)  (But I’m not bossy.  I just know what they should be doing.) So you can take this little ditty or leave it:  When you’re barky…be nice. (Even when you don’t want to be.) (Like me.)  (The “don’t want to be part.”) I […]

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The very thing I didn’t want is the very thing I now have and has become the very thing I can’t live without.

May 10, 2013
Cayla 3

When I was single, I had a huuuuuge list of ‘gotta haves’ and ‘ain’t no ways’ in a man. (Ok…things I prayed for.) The number one thing on my list of ‘gotta haves’? He’s gotta go to church.  And hold my hand. (And not just because I ask him to go with me.  Because it’s what he does.  With […]

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I’m living with the law and breaking it every day but let’s just keep that between us because what the law doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Or me. So, there.

May 7, 2013
Internet

If you are my husband…here, go read about the infatuation I used to have with Snoop Dogg. Or Snoop Lion.  Or whoever he is now. (And THAT is one of the very reasons I am over Snoop.  I mean, who in their right mind just up and changes their name?) (Snoop.  That’s who.) Anyway.  It’ll […]

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I have inspired someone of God knows what and oh, look…there’s my foot.

May 2, 2013
Foot

Katie:  “Soooo, have I asked you yet to trace your foot on a sheet of paper for me?” Me:  “I can’t honestly say that ANYONE has ever asked me to trace my foot on a sheet of paper for them.” Katie:  “No rush.  Do it.” Y’all.  Come on.  Really?  There is no way I could […]

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