July 2013

Crickets and pigs and horses and chickens and I guess a jackass if you include me.

July 29, 2013
Cop Pic

I figure if I keep really good people around me, one of two things will happen: 1. Some of their goodness and kindness and do-goodery will rub off or I can somehow scrape some off and use it as if it was mine to begin with, or… B. Other people will just assume I’m as […]

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And to think I thought the Beach Boys would really give a rats ass about my bangs.

July 19, 2013
Me Beach Boys

It was a dark and stormy night. The rain was pounding. The clouds were churning and the thunder was growling. The skies were angry. Angry, I tell you. Angry like a redhead who was at war with nature. Why? I’ll tell you, my friend: BECAUSE WE’VE HAD NO RAIN FOR MONTHS AND THIS OUT-OF-ITS-MIND-STUPID-ASS RAIN […]

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Hey Uterus, unless you’re contributing to the mortgage you can keep your trap shut.

July 16, 2013
Haileys Foot

“It’s not even 8:00 in the morning. Do NOT be slamming that door when you go outside!” “Can y’all just stop being so loud?” “Please turn the radio-thing down on your phone. Hey, your radio thing. On your phone. Turn it down. TURN THE FRIGGIN RADIO-THING DOWN ON YOUR PHONE!” “We’ll be at Dairy Queen […]

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Not all poop is bad because you can look at it more than one way and even though you might not want to…you should.

July 10, 2013
Chicken Leg

Can you talk about poop too much?  Probably. But can “I” talk about poop too much?  Never. At home, it’s a daily topic.  Nothing too detailed, just who did and who didn’t.  And who needs to.  And who should. And who shouldn’t. (At least not when another breathing human is home.) And at work.  The […]

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Motherhood and Batwings. A winning combination.

July 5, 2013
Barbie

“Listen.  You’ve got a figure I’d kill a man and a small cat for.  If I was anywhere close to your size, I’d spend the majority of my time walking around naked, slapping on lipgloss and heels,  and the other part of my time would be in jail.  Because I was walking around naked.  Slapping on lipgloss […]

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Lights. Camera. But probably not much Action since I knew nothing about it. Damn it.

July 2, 2013
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