I could call this My Husband’s Butt Hole but that would be totally misleading. In a way. Plus, he’d kill me.

August 11, 2013 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

I couldn’t stop laughing.

Could. Not. Stop.

It eventually got to the point I was doing that silent-with-my-trap-wide-open-heaving-hard-and-doing-my-absolute-best-NOT-to-pee-a-little laugh.

And it’s stupid. Nobody else would even give it a second thought. Oh, but you sure know I did. Just like I give a second thought to licking both mixing beaters with cake batter on them, but then I do it anyway, kind of second though.

And crap is even funnier for me when it’s really serious shit for someone else.

My husband was on a day off. Middle of the week day off. So, being the good man he is, he came to my office, picked up my car and took it for an oil change so I wouldn’t be stuck doing that on a weekend. When he was working.

(AWWWWW!!)

(And here’s a bigger-ass AWWWWW for you: I took care of getting oil changes for 9 years when I was single. Now? Nope. He insists.)

(I know!)

(It sometimes makes me rather pissified, but he’s the man and well, it’s 412* outside.)

I texted to see how it was going (like he needs to report back to me who knows nothing about oil changing except somewhere in the vicinity you’re going to see black fingernails) and discovered it was taking up to an hour.

Dude was hot. H.O.T. Hot.

(Pissified, if you will.)

So, here was our quick little text after that:

Oil Change

Butt hole.

Dude said butt hole. In a text.

For being a damn cop, my husband never curses, swears or even barks. Me? ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME.

(Which is probably why he doesn’t. He knows I’ve got his back there.)

But butt hole?

(Is it even a 2-worder? I always thought it was butthole, but whatever…that’s not what’s important here.)

Butt hole.

Who says that other than me in the 7th grade? I have totally moved up to bigger and better holes by now.

(Asshole. Jerk hole. Pie hole. You get it.)

Don’t think that evening when I got home from work, I didn’t look at him and simply say: “Butt hole. Have I not taught you better?”

Then again: “Butt hole. Just…butt hole? That’s all you had?”

No humor found by him, there.

And now? This very moment? I’m on it again. Giggling like a 13 year old boy who just did the old armpit-fart in class.

Over butt hole.

Because I don’t know what to call this post.

What?

My Husband’s Butt Hole?

My Husband and a Butt Hole?

The Butt Hole My Husband Saw When Getting My Oil Changed?

That Time My Husband Texted Me a Butt Hole?

I could just go on and on and on and on!! But none of us really want that, now do we?

Barbara August 11, 2013 at 7:52 pm

….and now the crazy people that will end up here searching stuff about buttholes. You’re fixin’ to get a whole new crowd from Google. LOL!
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Carrie August 11, 2013 at 8:02 pm

Which will probably make an even better post next time!

Oh, Lordy…

Regina August 11, 2013 at 8:16 pm

This reminds me of Beavis and Butthead.

Dude, you just said Butthole.

and on and on you go girl! :)
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Carrie August 11, 2013 at 8:31 pm

OMG! Haven’t thought of those two dudes in ages!!!

Adelyn August 11, 2013 at 10:23 pm

I love (LOVE) that level of laughing…and it is SO much better when it is for something that might not be as funny to others. But that is why I spent a good portion of my childhood grounded for laughing. For laughing!! How could that be bad!?!?

Carrie August 12, 2013 at 9:10 am

I hear you, girl…belly laughs are the best!

Jennifer August 12, 2013 at 3:05 am

Well I don’t think twice before licking both beaters. And I have kids- I’m stingy- if they don’t help make the cake, they don’t get to help lick the beaters.

Also- he doesn’t cuss or swear at all? Wow. That is impressive. I am married to a maintainer in the military (nothing but swear words from that lot) and am used to hanging out with other maintainer wives. So, when I made a friend with a girl in our village whose husband is in comm (a civil job) I had to start watching my mouth. It doesn’t always go well- I am sure she thinks I am a horrible person.

Butt hole, however, is awesome! And he probably thinks that was an offensive word. Reminds me the other day when Noah say something about someone saying “the ‘C’ word”. I was horrified for a moment- couldn’t believe he learned this word so early and then I stopped and asked him to clarify what the “c word” is….. “crap”. *whew*
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Carrie August 12, 2013 at 9:12 am

I still get tickled when I see that text scroll by!

I bet Noah had you about to flip out! The “c” word…oh, dear. I can only imagine your relief at ‘crap’!!

=)

Laughing Abi August 12, 2013 at 12:15 pm

OMG, you won’t believe this but butt hole is a word that has always sent me into uncontrollable fits of laughter. My husband and kids love to say it in front of me just to see me lose control. Glad to know someone else suffers from this disease!
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Carrie August 12, 2013 at 12:23 pm

THANK GOD I’M NOT ALONE!

There are words like that and they’ll pop up in random conversations and I just will NOT be able to let them go!

Butt Hole. Until now, I haven’t said that since 7th grade!! HAHAHA!!!

Losing The Rolls August 12, 2013 at 3:29 pm

I have one too. Non-cursing husband that is. Heck, mine probably would have said ‘B-hole’ instead. According to him, I spoke like a drunker sailor when I met him. I don’t think I was that bad, but have since toned it down 98%. I rarely curse, especially in his presence and then only when I am upset and want him to know exactly how upset. Glad you had a good laugh. It makes you live longer.
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Carrie August 12, 2013 at 3:58 pm

I always say the world needs more laughter!

And if it’s a good, hearty laugh…even better!

Thank you for stopping by!! =)

Connie August 12, 2013 at 3:38 pm

I love it!

My husband occasionally cusses….but he usually says something that makes him sound like an old man.
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Carrie August 12, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Yep…I just love when Keith throws a zinger out there. No matter what it is he is talking about, it’s the word choice that grabs me more.

I love it. And him! =)

(WHOA. My Keith. Not your Keith. That could sound awkward, huh?!? But I know your Keith is fab, too!)

Fashionista Era August 12, 2013 at 4:46 pm

HAHHAA!!! i know what you mean at times ive used phrases like CHILL or COOL IT DUDE i feel im so damn old for that now haha… :p something a 16 yr old might say or do. Now with a baby in my life im probably more careful with the swearing hehe…!! missed ur blog! sorry hun been so damn busy..!! but always love to come back to ur blog! hugss

http://www.fashionistaera.blogspot.com
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Carrie August 13, 2013 at 6:25 pm

Well, you know me…I’ve been known to just make up a word that I think fits the situation.

Some of those I’ve made up make Butt Hole look pretty innocent. =)

Amber August 12, 2013 at 10:27 pm

The word butt hole IS amusing.

It reminded me of an insult that was used when I was your kid, “Up your butt and around the corner.” Which sounds really weird and gross as an adult.
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Carrie August 13, 2013 at 6:26 pm

Up youe butt and around the corner.

Gross, my ass! THAT IS AWESOME! I’ll be using that before the end of the day!!

=)

Lisa Hewitt August 13, 2013 at 1:58 pm

Pardon the late comment, again. I have seen this on facebook and just about died everytime I saw it. You know I am a cusser. Butt hole, butthole, doesn’t matter – I’m hurting for laughing (going to count it as abs work-out). I have a question – what does hit the switch and car lifted up mean? I fullly intend to call someone a butthole, butt hole today. Proably already will have done it by the time you read this.

Carrie August 13, 2013 at 6:29 pm

HAHAHA!!

He meant the said butt hole did whatever he had to do to get the car to lift up on the car lifter thing so the said butt hole could do the oil change.

Lisa, you’re friggin awesome…your comments make me laugh and laugh and laugh!

katie metzroth August 13, 2013 at 10:49 pm

I hez no words.
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Carrie August 14, 2013 at 1:09 pm

Well, you’ve come to the right place! I’ve got puh-lenty of’em! I can probably bag some up and mail them out if you want. =)

A Morning Grouch August 17, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Bahaha, my favorite part is the brainstorming of blog titles. Did he immediately say, “You’re going to write about this, aren’t you?”, since that is what I hear when I am laughing that hard at my husband.
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Carrie August 17, 2013 at 8:37 pm

PRETTY MUCH! Yep…at least once a day I hear, “Oh, great. This is blog stuff, huh?”

The day I said, “I do”…my blog material list skyrocketed!

Becca August 18, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Haha I was wondering what this post was going to be about. I honestly don’t remember how old I was the last time I called someone a butt hole. (I tried to make it 1 word and google corrected it)
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Carrie August 19, 2013 at 7:52 am

Well, I said the same thing the day before this happened.

But let me tell you…I have said it no less than 3 times a day. Which doesn’t sound like much…but those having to hear are singing a different song!!

=)

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