Somehow, I end up getting more at home when I’m not at home. Coincidence? I think not.

August 19, 2013 in Me and My Public Self

Apparently, they expect me to do more than tell others how to do their job and re-apply lipgloss at the work joint.

I’m just now getting back on the travel wagon and will be somewhere within the Texas borders for 2 days every other week for a few months.

(I’m elated.)

(Seriously. Room service. A remote control to myself. A big, fat bed I ain’t gotta make.)

So, if you follow me on Facebook (which you totally should) you’ll see more crap like this…there and here:

Douchy Couple

…because we all know I can’t keep my trap shut when this kind of asshat-ery happens.

I could possibly implode.

(So, thank you in advance for your help.)

And you’ll hear more about what happens at home when I’m not home because I’m off in some swanky (I pray) hotel room indulging in some sort of delicacy I’d never eat in front of anyone because I’m too old and should be more conscious of what goes down my Dorito chute.

(Like a sundae the size of my head.)

(You gotta admit, crap you shouldn’t eat always taste better and is way more enjoyable when no one is around to shake their head as you dip that chip so far into the queso that your fingers come up cheesy.)

(Or better yet…when no one is around wanting you to share. What nerve.)

Anyway.

Crap gets done at home when I’m gone. I don’t know why, but it does. And I ain’t about to ask questions. I guesss I start being missed or something. And all of a sudden pictures I couldn’t get hung before…are mysteriously perfectly in place.

And look at this:

Towels

And don’t you dare ask which ones “I” folded.

Don’t. You. Dare.

But hey, they’re folded and put up, right? Beggers can’t be choosers, I suppose.

At least that’s what momma says.

And then there was that time Keith kept saying, “Now, come on. You are NOT going to hang an old stained-glass window from a tree in the backyard. No way, no how.”

I took a little 2-day work vacation and voila!

Window

(You can bet I’ve mentioned pink flamingos by the back porch.)

(Not real ones. They poop. Nobody wants poop on the porch.)

Most people travel to see the world. Experience other cultures. Live life.

Not me. Just give me a hot fudge sundae bigger than my head that has no calories and some pink flamingos by the back porch when I get home or even just have the dishes done…and I’M THERE!

Bobbi August 19, 2013 at 9:44 pm

I know that feeling, oh wait I mean know what Otis like to be at home alone with the boys. Enjoy your travel.
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Carrie August 20, 2013 at 7:48 am

I’m away just long enough to miss being home. It’s pretty cool. =)

Barbara August 20, 2013 at 6:08 am

Ah, room service. Gotta love that. It’s like a mini-vacation that you can expense!
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Carrie August 20, 2013 at 7:49 am

Mini-vacation is right.

And that expensing it out part makes the best kind of vacation!

Connie Weiss August 20, 2013 at 8:42 am

I used to lick Keith’s face….but then I realized that is GROSS!
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Carrie August 20, 2013 at 2:09 pm

Do not be licking Keith’s anything in public. That is pure barf material.

And girl, WHY didn’t you tell me my post was jacked up?? Wordpress went and published some crap I didn’t finish.

At least I’m blaming it on Wordpress. =)
Carrie recently posted..Somehow, I end up getting more at home when I’m not at home. Coincidence? I think not.My Profile

Connie Weiss August 20, 2013 at 2:18 pm

I didn’t notice your post was jacked up. My bad. I’ll closer next time!
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Adelyn August 20, 2013 at 9:52 am

I LOVE when I go out of town and my husband and daughter clean the whole house. I used to feel bad about it…but got over that REAL quick!

Enjoy room service! I love to travel and make the room as cold as possible.
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Carrie August 20, 2013 at 2:10 pm

Room service is the bomb. Nothing better than having my meal brought to me at the time I want it.

I keep trying to make it work at home. So far, no luck.

=)
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Jennifer August 20, 2013 at 2:59 pm

No one ever does anything when I leave home. I feel gypped.
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Carrie August 20, 2013 at 4:17 pm

I don’t say much and try not to let my eyes blow out of my face so they don’t really realize I notice it and stop.

Becca August 20, 2013 at 3:24 pm

That is awesome that stuff gets done when you aren’t home. Maybe it gets done because you aren’t asking for it?
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Carrie August 20, 2013 at 4:18 pm

Maybe…but I don’t even care! I just keep on mentioning pink flamingos….

=)
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katie metzroth August 20, 2013 at 4:04 pm

What I’m fascinated by is that the towels on the left are folded in half and the ones on the right are folded in thirds and for the first towel-folding years of my life, I did the last fold of a towel as thirds, but recently, I’ve switched to the last fold being halves because I feel like they fit better on my shelves. Plus, it’s faster…..and that means 1 more whole second I can spend knitting. per towel.
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Carrie August 20, 2013 at 4:19 pm

What’s even worse…the towels are usually stacked by color.

Again. Don’t even ask who does that.
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Alison August 22, 2013 at 6:04 am

Dude, I am so jealous of the hotel room and room service. Le sigh.
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Carrie August 22, 2013 at 11:11 am

It’s nice. I love the fam but that alone time to come back to my senses is fantastic.

Laughing Abi August 22, 2013 at 9:44 am

Love it! You had me at Dorito chute.
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Carrie August 22, 2013 at 11:12 am

HAHA!! And look at what your new post listed there is: Hole Filler

Priceless. =)

A Morning Grouch August 27, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Sounds like you are meant to travel, girlfriend! And, I’d totally take the folded-by-someone-other-than-me towels. I can tell that was your husband, right? 😉

And ISN”T IT THE TRUTH about something tasting better when someone else isn’t wagging their finger at you? Even if you know it if just in their own mind? HATE THAT. Love the friends you can pig out with and not feel guilty. Or the swanky hotel rooms that serve the same purpose – with the added bonus of a large bed all to oneself. Glory.
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Carrie August 27, 2013 at 8:48 pm

I do enjoy travelling if it isn’t for long periods…cause I get homesick for the fam after a couple of days.

Silly. I know.

And YES. Swanky hotels are the bomb. No calories in the room service!

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