I need better signs than what I get now from life even though I probably wouldn’t listen to those better signs anymore than I listen to the not-better signs now.

November 14, 2013 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

Me to me:  “Are you shitting me?  You were just hanging around the house and thought, “let me write some jacked up crap on my car window so I can drive through traffic and see how many honks I can get?”

I honked.

Weiner Dog

(Don’t look at the license plate.)

(I don’t know why.  I guess for security reasons?)

(I ain’t blacking it out.  Put your finger over it.  Or a piece of duct tape.)

Yep.  I honked.  More because she was putting on her lipstick in the mirror and didn’t get moving when the traffic started up than for the fact I heart “weiner dog.”

(I don’t actually heart them.  Or the one she’s possibly referring to.  I don’t even know the one she’s talking about.  But I don’t hate them.  Or that one.  Regardless…you know I honked.)

Then.

I get a little further up the road, pass a cop with his radar gun out and pointed at BARELY MOVING traffic, and I once again say:

Me to me:  “Are you shitting me?  Dude, really.”

And then see this:

Dry Paint

However, I never saw the sign that said, “Lots of cars up there just dicking around and driving really slow in the left lane.”

Nope.  Never saw THAT sign.  But I did get the “Dry Paint Ahead” sign.

Because I needed to know there was dry paint ahead.

I do have to admit, I love the signs life gives me.  I do.  I just wish I could get some that popped up at just the right time that maybe said:

Fussy teenager inside.  Turn and run away now.

Get off Facebook.  The boss is coming.

Do not curse now.  For the love of God, you’re in the church parking lot, loser.

Do not bark at your husband.  You’ll be feeling all jackass-y for much longer than you will admit.

Stay away from that delicious piece of cake.  Your skirts are getting tight and the icing is going to stain your blouse when you drop it on your boobs, anyway.

Pee now.  Trust me, fool.

{ 13 comments }

Amber November 14, 2013 at 2:01 pm

Ha, I like your signs.

I have never seen a dry paint sign on the road before. Odd.
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Carrie November 14, 2013 at 3:35 pm

Nothing surprises me anymore.

Especially in the morning commute. Nothing. It should, but it doesn’t.

Thanks for the visit! =)

Barbara November 14, 2013 at 4:08 pm

Oh my, dry paint…..glad you avoided that. ;) Most the signs around our parts are just spelled wrong.
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Carrie November 14, 2013 at 7:08 pm

I know…can you just imagine the destruction if I unknowingly rolled up on some DRY paint??

And that’s too funny….spelled wrong! HAHA!! You’re crazy, girl!! =)

Regina November 14, 2013 at 8:15 pm

You take pictures of odd things like me. I have no idea why there was a dry paint sign.

I made a bingo out of the signs and other things you see while driving and made it into a bingo for my kids (lemonade outta lemons). It’s on my blog somewhere too. Because I’m all into sharing.

I honk at the mom’s in the parking lot at school…for getting out of their car in the drop off lane…it’s a drop off lane, not a snuggle lane. ;)
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Carrie November 15, 2013 at 8:05 am

THAT is brilliant!! Bingo out of the signs…what a fun thing!

But gorl, you had me cracking up picturing you honking at the mom’s at the drop off! God, to be a fly on the wall with you!!

Lisa Hewitt November 14, 2013 at 8:58 pm

Well, I’ll bet it was a dongel dog. And a dongel ass did that sign. Just to dongel your THURSDAY up.

Carrie November 15, 2013 at 8:06 am

Oh, you KNOW dongle left my mouth puh-lenty of times.

=)

Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom November 17, 2013 at 11:33 am

Yes, you got to watch out for that dry paint. It’s nasty stuff!

Great post. Thanks for the laughs.
xoxo
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Carrie November 17, 2013 at 8:36 pm

You ain’t kidding. I can only imagine how bad it’d be if it was…well, wet.

=)

Fashionista Era November 17, 2013 at 11:44 am

Awww i totally love your quits sweetie!!so very cute…!! and honey thanks for your lovely words for my little one. arent you the sweetest!! i lived in dallas for a while before i moved here i wish i had met you!! hehe cheers
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Carrie November 17, 2013 at 8:37 pm

You are so precious…thank you!!

And I can’t wait to hear all the stories you and that sweet baby are going to be making!

Jennifer November 20, 2013 at 11:01 am

Dry paint? WTF? Why are you supposed to care about that?

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