I am loved and I are smart. All thanks to a friggin’ marsupial.

December 25, 2013 in Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

Because when your in-laws come to your house for the holidays, you can yammer just so much about other family members, Duck Dynasty and Facebook…you play games.

Or eat more ham.

(Which I am totally over at this point.)

I’m sure it’s not hard to imagine, but I play to win.  Losing ain’t an option.  Even if mother-in-law is playing.  Sorry.  Not happening.

If you’ll remember back a couple of posts, when I was jackassing around in Galveston with boobs and a big purple hat, I believe I uttered the words:

Go big or go home.

Run faster than the big dog or get back under the porch.

Shit big or get off the pot.

The game ain’t over until I’ve won.

Remember now?

Anyway.

We’re playing that game where you have a partner and you pick a card and you have to get your partner to guess the word at the top without using the words listed on the bottom:

Taboo 2

 

Keith is my partner.

Mother-in-law and Cayla, my 15-year old girl, are our opponents.

Tension is in the air.  Thick as the cheese on my macaroni earlier that day.

(Age, sex, shoe size, grade…I don’t care.  You’re going down and you’re going down hard.)

I need him to simply say “kangaroo” so I can kick their asses and collect my trophy as the all time ass kicker of this family.

(WE are partners.  However, “I” will be the winner.)

I look at him, focus on his eyes, and squint.  Hard.

(In my head, the theme to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly slowly begins.)

(Everything was in slow motion.)

This tells him I’m serious and our marriage or his dude parts are quite possibly on the line…depending on his answer.

Cayla flips the hourglass timer thing.

Me:  OK, the momma species of this exotic creature carries and feeds her babies in a open flappy pocket on her front part.

Keith:  Pouch!

Me:  The MOMMA SPECIES carries her babies in THAT on her front part….

Keith:  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  I know it…it’s right there…it’s uh, it’s uh….

(He’s sweating.  I’m glaring hard.)

Me:  They’re furry…front part carries babies…they’re bouncy….

(My teeth are gritted.)

Keith:  MARSUPIAL!  MARSUPIAL!!

(Crickets.)

I look at the timer.

Game over.

Me:  MARSUPIAL?  DID YOU SAY MARSUPIAL?  YOU LOOK AT ME AND YOU SEE A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHAT A MARSUPIAL IS ENOUGH TO ATTEMPT TO DESCRIBE IT??

Keith:  Well, isn’t that it?

Me:  MARSUPIAL?  YOU LOOK AT ME AND THINK TO YOURSELF, “THIS WOMAN WOULD CHOOSE THE WORD MARSUPIAL OVER KANGAROO??”  DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?

We lost the damn game over his friggin’ marsupial.

But that’s how I know he loves me.

And thinks I’m smart.

Cause any man who’s lived with me for more than 4 days and has listened to my use of words such as jack-ass-ish, dongle, and idiot-ass on a regular basis and still thinks I’m gonna have the brain space to entertain the word ‘marsupial’ up there…loves my ass more than I ever knew.

Maren December 26, 2013 at 4:57 am

Haha, this is sweet. 🙂 I don’t know what a marsupial is! No idea!
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Carrie December 26, 2013 at 8:49 pm

We seriously laughed about it. Because really…like “I” would actually choose to describe a marsupial.

Adelyn December 26, 2013 at 10:00 am

Being loved is the best! And I love that they think we are smart…but we were smart enough to pick them as husbands…so we ARE smart!!!!

(I used “we” because my husband would have done the same thing!)

Carrie December 26, 2013 at 8:49 pm

OOOHHHH…that is good! We were smart enough to pick them. THAT is good, sister!

Lisa Hewitt December 26, 2013 at 6:40 pm

Aw hell. Is he O.K.?

Carrie December 26, 2013 at 8:50 pm

He still has that fearful look in his eyes and flinches if I get too close too quick, but he’s coming around.

Val December 26, 2013 at 9:41 pm

rofl, lady you crack me up. Thank you 🙂
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Carrie December 28, 2013 at 6:45 pm

Hell, sometimes all you can do around here is laugh.

=)

A Morning Grouch December 27, 2013 at 1:45 pm

hehehee i love that game. since you didn’t win, i’m assuming the two of you lost together (opposed to you winning by yourself if you had won?)
A Morning Grouch recently posted..Thank Goodness The Next Christmas Isn’t Until Next YearMy Profile

Carrie December 28, 2013 at 6:46 pm

Nice…it appears you’ve played this game with me before and know the rules.

=)

Connie Weiss December 28, 2013 at 7:54 pm

That man is too smart for his own good!
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Carrie December 29, 2013 at 5:46 pm

Yep, he is.

But I’ll be darned I let him know I know it.

=)

katie metzroth December 30, 2013 at 9:00 am

things that are bouncy. marsupials. yep.
I hear they have a lot of trouble with all the bouncing koalas down under.
(and in case you’re wondering, there is no universally agreed upon plural of platypus and they are mammals.)
ok, I totally googled marsupial. Have you ever heard of a quoll? I’m totally calling ppl that annoy me Quolls from now on. “You really need to quit being such a quoll. It’s unseemly.”
ya’ll crack me up! 🙂
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Amber December 31, 2013 at 2:44 pm

Ha. Marsupial is a funny word.

Happy New Year!
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Becca January 5, 2014 at 1:32 am

I love that game and I also get really into it! I hope you won other games against your family 🙂
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Barbara January 10, 2014 at 4:45 pm

Sounds like you guys are still having so much fun!!
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