Just discovered my teenager doesn’t understand me. Well, there’s a news flash.

June 4, 2014 in Hit or Miss...kinda like my dating life.

Allow me to quote my 16-year-old teenager as I was driving her home from the college accounting class she’s taking and continuously gripes about but yet won’t shut her trap about the frat boy that’s in there and how even though she’s the youngest it’s not as hard as she thought it’d be but still though….her summer is completely ruined because we’re “making” her take it.

Making.

You heard me.

Making.

We can’t “make” her remember to feed the dog and chickens every morning.

We can’t “make” her stop putting the empty sandwich baggie box back in the pantry when she uses the last sandwich baggie.

We can’t “make” her understand that we have lived longer and fuller lives at our ages than she has at 16 so odds are she does NOT know more than we do.

We can’t “make” her keep her dumpy room cleaned.

Messy Room

No.  We can’t “make” her do anything.  But yet, somehow we “make” her attend this class.

(Frat boy.)

(Who, if he was as weird as she says, she wouldn’t talk about, right?)

Anyway.

I don’t even remember what I was saying to her.  Probably asking her if she went to the right room.

Why?

Let me back it up a week or so.

On her first night, “I” had to get out of the car and walk her to her class.  Me.  The loser mom who knows nothing and has no clue about life, had to show her where her class was.

She was afraid she wouldn’t find it and then everyone would point and laugh at the “dumb high school student” (her words, not mine) for going to the wrong class.

I walked right up to the closed class door and she freaked.

(Even “I” was shocked I found it that quick.)  (I looked like I knew what I was doing, anyway.)

Cayla:  “Don’t just open it!  What if it’s not the right class??”

Me:  “Then I’LL be the one they think is stupid and trust me, I’ve done jackassier things in life than open a wrong door.  This is nothing for me.”

Cayla:  “Oh my God, you are so embarrassing.”

Me:  “HEY.  YOU’RE the big chicken here. (I swung the door open.)  And this IS the room….go.”

(She found no humor when I puckered as if I was gonna kiss her on the cheek as she passed me going into the correct room that “I” had to find for her.)

She came home that night saying the instructor told them they’d be in a different room the next week.

Fast forward to this week now.

I drop her off and she kinda runs away from the car because she doesn’t want people to see she’s the “dumb high school student” having her parent drop her off.

(As if the big lopsided ponytail, gym shorts, and high school soft ball t-shirt doesn’t give it away.)

She runs before I can ask if she remembers she’s in a different room this week.

She remembered because apparently she went to what she thought was the new right class which turned out to be the wrong class so at least she had the smarts to go back to the original class.

I got this text about 3 minutes after I left the campus:

ACC Text

So…back to my original babbling.

Allow me to quote my 16-year-old teenager as I was driving her home from the college accounting class she’s taking and continuously gripes about but yet won’t shut her trap about the frat boy that’s in there and how even though she’s the youngest it’s not as hard as she thought it’d be but still though….her summer is completely ruined because we’re “making” her take it.

I don’t even remember what I was saying to her.  Probably asking her if she went to the right room.

Cayla:  “Oh.  My.  God.  Do you realize it’s been two years that I’ve known you and I STILL have a hard time with your accent??  I mean, it’s getting easier but I swear half the time, I’m not sure what the heck you’re saying and you say it so fast and it’s like we don’t even speak the same language….what did you just say again??”

Me:  “That’s right.  We don’t speak the same language.  I’m 45 and have done lots in life and have lived through a lot.  I know more, I’ve seen more, I’ve lived more.  More than you’ll ever know about.  Get that through your thick skull.  And you, on the other hand, are 16.  A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT.”

(Lots of emphasis on that last part there.)

She smiled and me and I got that teenager-y smirk with the eye roll.

Which absolutely tells me I won that round.

Later that night, I got a “Thanks for the ride.  I love you.”

I smiled and gave her that weepy, stupid looking, oh-my-God-maybe-I’m-not-jacking-her-life-totally-up-after-all and said “I love you more.”

Which absolutely tells her she won that one.

And that absolutely tells us both, whether we understand each other or not, maybe we do sometimes speak the same language?

Who knew?

Lisa Hewitt June 4, 2014 at 2:48 pm

I did. Yep. And your lovely momma, who is laughing her butt off on a daily basis. And I know why that is too – it’s not going to get any better for a long, long time. My son instagrammed a picture of my foot (my been in the yard and really muddy foot) – chillin with mom. He tweeted – “mom said – I am not the Canadian Country Singer”, and hashtagged it, #momsnotevenanamericancountrysingerbutfriesgoodchicken. He’s 26. I amuse him now. He pats me on the head. He cut a branch off a tree so I woldn’t poke my eye out. Crazy is the only defense. Work on your crazy eyes. Good luck.

Carrie June 4, 2014 at 3:16 pm

Dear Lord in Heaven…I love him.

He tweeted a picture of your muddy foot. I love that boy. I do, I do, I do.

My lovely momma periodically calls just to get me all riled up asking what the new drama is. Today it’s the fact that Cayla is home at noon from school and those dishes better be out of the dishwasher before I’m home at 5:00. She tells me she needs her rest.

She’s 16. I am up at 4:30 every day and am lucky to lay my head down by 9:30. She’s up at 7:30ish and then naps at home and then showers for an hour then goes to bed and SHE needs her rest.

It kinda pisses me off I love her as much as I do.

But I CAN NOT WAIT for the days she has her own teenager.

But your boy? He even noted your good fried chicken?!? That’s pure momma-love right there.

Bobbi June 6, 2014 at 11:26 pm

That is not the worst room of a teenager I have seen. I know mine was worse at 16.
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Carrie June 9, 2014 at 7:43 am

That is probably one of her better days.

And heaven forbid she find this out, but you couldn’t see the carpet in my room at 16.

Hideous.

Val June 7, 2014 at 3:46 am

You get “I love you”‘s? WTF?! Imma smother some teens in their sleep tonight.
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Carrie June 9, 2014 at 7:42 am

Well, it doesn’t come all the time.

But yeah…mostly when it’s least expected. =)

Lisa Newlin June 11, 2014 at 1:39 pm

You’re obviously just as mean as she says you are…what with MAKING her attend a class that isn’t that hard but allows her to see a cute boy. I think this borders on pure torture.

Is the boy cute? I mean…hypothetically? You need to get a peek!
Lisa Newlin recently posted..Funny Crap My Husband Says: June 2014 EditionMy Profile

Carrie June 11, 2014 at 8:18 pm

I think he’s cuter than she lets on.

She was sitting behind Frat Boy and took a pic of his frat shirt from the back and texted it to me.

Just to show me how he ALWAYS wears a frat shirt.

Uh, huh. Yeah. I didn’t fall for it either.

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