July 2014

Think you’re gonna be necking at my house? Think again, Mr.-I’m-So-Perfect-at-Being-Perfect.

July 28, 2014
Cayla Job

Yes.  We bought an RV. I will be in a big, floppy hat most every weekend from now on. Keith will be in his mandals more than I ever in my life imagined I’d tolerate. And you’re sick of hearing about the RV and how Keith isn’t too hip on the idea of me plucking down pink flamingo yard […]

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Always, always make it worse than it really is because then it ain’t so bad when it ain’t that bad.

July 25, 2014
Chore List

You know how when you think something is really bad then you find out it’s not as bad as you thought so then the original bad-ness ain’t so bad? OK, I’ll try it again. Let’s say I come in with a new pair of heels.  Clacking all around the kitchen and all over the living […]

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I always think it can’t get any worse and then I realize what an ass is in Spanish.

July 21, 2014
Spanish Words

Sweet mother of all things travel-ly-ish, I have been on the road way too much for me. First, back home to see family and friends for the weekend only to be fashionably traumatized by my dude wearing his mandals on most of the trip. (Mandals = Man Sandals.  Get it?) About 2 days after that little […]

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I didn’t plan this confession but I’ve been to prison and I’m going back. There. Secret is out.

July 9, 2014
Orange is the New Black

I don’t watch much TV. There. Secret is out. I have no time for it. What?  Between bitching about a hormonal teenager who has done nothing but complain about having so-called cabin fever even though she just got back from 8 glorious, fun-filled days in Florida to losing my mind by pretending I’m June Cleaver […]

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…and this is why you’ll probably ask yourself later, “Hmmm…why is she posting her resume’?”

July 2, 2014
Signs 1

Because the office sent out an email. And I responded. Which was my first mistake. I’ve worked with these people for nine heavenly years so they know me like a well-read-then-thoughtlessly-discarded-and-tossed-on-a-dusty-bookshelf-then-later-pulled-back-out-to-read-with-delight-again book. It’s their own fault if they’re ever shocked, surprised or caught off guard. Nothing should ever surprise them. (Sweet Mother of Corporate America…come on!  Nine years!) Though […]

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