Crap I Was Considerate Enough to Not Bother You with Before Now.

In our house, the price of a .99 burrito just went up. Way up. Like may-take-months-to-pay-for-it way up.

February 19, 2015
Teenager Jello

It’s no secret.  I’ve never blown a baby through my lady parts. Wanted to when I was in my 20’s…but it just never happened. But I wanted a baby regardless. As I aged, that desire took a back seat to life.  I was older.  I didn’t have the energy.  Then I found myself single and […]

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It’s I-Don’t-Have-To-Be-Me-Weekend and you can bet that’s just who I’m NOT gonna be.

November 12, 2014

I’m a bit nervous.  Or scared.  Or puzzled.  Or something creepy feeling and unsure and skeptical. My main squeeze and I are going to the Renaissance Festival this weekend. With friends. Dressing up in full costume, as always. FULL.  COSTUME. (Because even though I’m not athletic, I’m gargantuanly competitive.) (Go big-ass big, or go home.) […]

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I’m tired. It’s as simple as that. I’m just tired.

August 28, 2014

It’s rare I ever chose to be serious. At least here, on this blog thing. This blog thing started a few years ago as something like maybe a hobby.  I’ve never liked to write and my high school English teacher, Mr. Atmar, would literally croak if he thought for one minute I put words on paper […]

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If there is anything you need to know about keeping your job and I’m not around you can always hit up the internet and see if she can help.

August 20, 2014

Thank goodness for the internet. Especially web sites on the internet. Those web sites on the internet with information.  Informative stuff.  The can’t-go-another-minute-without-knowing-this-crap-or-you-will-forever-not-know-this-crap kind of stuff. Like: A.  What color some Kardashian paints her toenails B.  How to know if you’re in a good relationship or if you should get a dog C.  What percentage of […]

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I didn’t plan this confession but I’ve been to prison and I’m going back. There. Secret is out.

July 9, 2014
Orange is the New Black

I don’t watch much TV. There. Secret is out. I have no time for it. What?  Between bitching about a hormonal teenager who has done nothing but complain about having so-called cabin fever even though she just got back from 8 glorious, fun-filled days in Florida to losing my mind by pretending I’m June Cleaver […]

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If I’m the only one high-fiving me I’m fine with that because I did this for me.

April 10, 2014
SheShines

Last night I got a little irritated with the family. Or maybe aggravated. (Is there a difference between those two?) Then I realized I was really irritated and/or aggravated with me and they were just an easy blame. Let me do a little back-tracking.  I’ll keep it short. I’ll start with the subject of my […]

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This new diet of having a bowl of bitchy just ain’t working.

March 25, 2014
Starbucks

February 12? Really? That’s the last time I wrote anything here?  Seriously? Oh, I know why. Because I’ve been eating vegetables.  And fruits.  And took a yoga class for a month.  And when I wasn’t doing yoga, I was working out at the gym. 30 minutes on the treadmill and no less than 30 minutes […]

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I guess it’s safe to assume the honeymoon is over because I’m back to bitching and he’s on the commode.

January 17, 2014

Apparently, for my dear husband, Keith…the honeymoon is over. And ok.  Maybe a little for me, too. Last weekend, I was alone. A. LONE. Him and Cayla did some bonding.  Went hunting or camping or whatever.  I didn’t really care.  I just knew I was going to be a-totally-lone for a full weekend.  And that’s all […]

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She might think I’m not so smart and I might think her room stinks but we both know what’s really important. And that’s what matters most.

September 19, 2013
Parade

I’m still getting used to this mothering stuff. Still. It’s been six months. If I were to list a few things that have changed from my THEN “I’m-pretty-confident-in-myself-and-if-you-don’t-like-it-you-can-suck-it-all-the-way-to-the-bar” life, to my NOW “I-think-I’m-doing-this-shit-right-most-of-the-time-but-why-are-people-pointing-and-laughing” life…here’s where I’d start: 1. I do more dishes now 2. I had more money then C. My nails looked better then […]

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It probably doesn’t matter to you that I didn’t get breakfast in bed, but at least I don’t say “bosom.”

May 27, 2013
Keith Dinner

You know how sometimes your husband wakes up really early on a Saturday morning and decides he wants a gargantuanly large breakfast so he makes omelets filled with vegetables?  And bacon and sausage patties and pancakes with Aunt Jemima syrup (then you tell him that you like Steen’s because it’s really, creepily thick and is a pain in the […]

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