Hit or Miss…kinda like my dating life.

I’m living with the law and breaking it every day but let’s just keep that between us because what the law doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Or me. So, there.

May 7, 2013
Internet

If you are my husband…here, go read about the infatuation I used to have with Snoop Dogg. Or Snoop Lion.  Or whoever he is now. (And THAT is one of the very reasons I am over Snoop.  I mean, who in their right mind just up and changes their name?) (Snoop.  That’s who.) Anyway.  It’ll [...]

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Roofers and an earthquake I can tackle. Small, buggish things in the night? Not so much.

August 14, 2012

I’m a pretty hard sleeper.  Most of the time. Or so I thought. I’ve slept through a crew of dudes re-roofing the house at 6:00 am…I’ve slept through a screaming alarm I forgot to turn off the night before…I’ve slept through a slight earthquake when the rest of the hotel guests were up and roaming around in [...]

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Yes, I deserve to be punched in the neck but don’t because I kinda have some excuses.

August 6, 2012

I know, I know.  Get off my back.  It’s been ages. Somebody punch me in the neck or something.  Where have I been?  What is wrong with me?!? I know. I’ve been…well, busy. Good busy…but busy. I’m just gonna throw out a random sampling of things that have either been going on, happening, making me [...]

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I felt old. I felt young. I saw Tom Cruise’s nipples. All in the same 2 hours.

June 21, 2012

“Oh, my GOD!  You will go to the movies alone??”  Totally by yourself??” More than once I’ve heard that crap when I say I don’t mind going to the movies alone. That reaction comes with the same disbelief as if I just said I’ve got a rash with burn. (Or a date.) But anyway.  Yes.  I [...]

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Communicating with me really ain’t that bad. If you do it my way.

June 7, 2012

OK.  So, the dude who pays me for dragging up to the office every day and tormenting him, suggested I take a class on “communicating.” Him:  “Hey, we’re doing a class on communicating…you ought to take it.” Me:  “Why?  I communicate fine.  It’s everyone else in this building who needs it.” Him:  “Hey, we’re doing [...]

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Steer clear of sky-high bookcases and ass-breathers. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

April 26, 2012
My Book

“I like how she’s open and real and isn’t afraid to talk about things that affect her.  Like her having depression and anxiety and stuff like that.” That’s what Katie said about The Bloggess when we were headed downtown Austin last night to see The Bloggess at her book signing. “Yeah.  I can appreciate that.  I’ve [...]

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I’ve apparently been really busy doing a lot of nothing this week. What a shock.

April 6, 2012

Where the hell have I been this week?? I look up and it’s Friday and I’m all, “Whaaaat??  It was just Sunday and I was eating cake at mom’s!  Now it’s Friday?!?” Yeah.  Cake.  But not really.  But kinda really. Mom made a cake.  Out of meatloaf.  I swear to you it HAD to be a Pinterest [...]

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When the first word of the day is a curse word, I know it’s gonna be a good day.

March 9, 2012

“Daaaamn.  8:38 am.  Oh, yeah.” A cup of coffee.  With the gayest creamer I could find at the store the other day.  And sugar. Sit and watch it rain.  A lot. Email. Facebook. Another cup of coffee. Google Reader. Reading/commenting on loads of blogs because I’ve been a friggin slacker all week. Watch more rain. [...]

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A Butt-cut and a Watusi. And I don’t even know what a watusi is.

February 28, 2012

Let me tell you something. I don’t know much, but I do know one thing. Girlfriends you can get catty, down and dirty with are the best. Every Monday night at 6:58 pm, you will find me hurdling my sofa like a 6th grade track star.  Headed straight to my recliner. Remote in one hand. [...]

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In a perfect world, I’d be hairless and always have gas.

February 1, 2012

I begged. I mean beggggged to shave my legs when I was young. Could not wait to sit in that tub and run that fancy schmancy razor right up my fuzzy little 8 year old legs. (I was so advanced for my age.  In this area only.  Don’t ask about school or terrorizing a little sister [...]

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