Stuff I Should Think About Regretting Later

This Daniel is probably part of the reason my hair is frazzled and I’m living in a fog and I don’t even know who this Daniel is.

June 25, 2015
Flowers

Here’s just a few snippets of stupid crap that’s happened around the house over the last few days. (And if you think that hormonal teenager was involved in this stupid crap, you’d be right.) (What gave it away? The ‘stupid crap’ part?) Anyway. ME: “You want me to bake you a potato?” HER: “Yes, and […]

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There should still be phones ripped out of the walls because then I wouldn’t be filled with guilt right now.

September 8, 2014

My mother was the only CEO of Guilt Trips Dot Com…until she sold her shares to my husband. He bought me perfume. For no reason. No birthday.  No holiday.  No anniversary. Never mind the fact I’ve been leaving my 98% empty bottle by my sink on the bathroom counter each morning. Then it slowly moved over […]

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Always, always make it worse than it really is because then it ain’t so bad when it ain’t that bad.

July 25, 2014
Chore List

You know how when you think something is really bad then you find out it’s not as bad as you thought so then the original bad-ness ain’t so bad? OK, I’ll try it again. Let’s say I come in with a new pair of heels.  Clacking all around the kitchen and all over the living […]

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…and this is why you’ll probably ask yourself later, “Hmmm…why is she posting her resume’?”

July 2, 2014
Signs 1

Because the office sent out an email. And I responded. Which was my first mistake. I’ve worked with these people for nine heavenly years so they know me like a well-read-then-thoughtlessly-discarded-and-tossed-on-a-dusty-bookshelf-then-later-pulled-back-out-to-read-with-delight-again book. It’s their own fault if they’re ever shocked, surprised or caught off guard. Nothing should ever surprise them. (Sweet Mother of Corporate America…come on!  Nine years!) Though […]

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Getting old is now the new staying young…even if just in my book. Which is the only book that really matters in my world, right?

May 1, 2014
AARP

I have fought life for, well…my whole life. I moisturize. I eat healthier than most anyone I know. (At least 90% of the time.) (I mean, there IS that occasional mac and cheese, moon pie and well, there’s wine.  Ok, Ok.  There’s wine.  Get off my back.) I do the stupid treadmill.  Up to an […]

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Nobody said anything about old bras and hairy legs. No, no you didn’t.

April 25, 2014
Dont Ask

I do believe I’ve uttered the words, “I don’t ask for much…” no less than 17 times this week. It’s not like I’m asking for an around the world cruise. Or my own personal island. (Which I would love because then I could boss and people would listen because it was MY personal island and […]

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My husband goosed me, but I assure you it wasn’t the goose I was wanting.

April 16, 2014

Because there is no way in hell I can make this up…I’m gonna keep it short. At 9:06 am this morning, I called my husband while he was on the job. My husband. The PoPo The Fuzz The 5-0. Yeah.  Sorry.  Anyway. I called and he answered.  He  always, always answers. (Not because I could […]

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Some bully’s butt ain’t worth losing a high heel over, but I will if I gotta.

February 4, 2014
HaileyHighHeel

Remember that bully thing with my niece that I was yapping about on Facebook last week? (It’s too long to screen shot and make fit here or maybe I just don’t know what I’m doing so I’ll just copy/paste it and put it here because well, THAT I can do.) (I can even do italics, too.) […]

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Well, his chickens have much more than hair now.

January 23, 2014
Chicken Hair

This day of my life has involved chickens more than any other day.  I’ve never discussed chickens more than I have today. (Thank you, Keith.) I’m sitting in my office area and it’s around lunch.  And the sweet girl around the corner says, out loud, where the world can hear: Sweet Girl:  “Hey, Carrie.  You have […]

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I am loved and I are smart. All thanks to a friggin’ marsupial.

December 25, 2013
Taboo 2

Because when your in-laws come to your house for the holidays, you can yammer just so much about other family members, Duck Dynasty and Facebook…you play games. Or eat more ham. (Which I am totally over at this point.) I’m sure it’s not hard to imagine, but I play to win.  Losing ain’t an option.  […]

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