Not much to report other than lots of hoopin’ and hollerin’. And well, I might’ve grown a beard.

June 15, 2012

In all my 43 years, not once do I remember being called “low-key.” Or “subtle.” Or “tranquil.” Or “serene.” SO WHY START NOW? First.  ‘Dallas’. I literally turded on the floor when I realized JR was shot 32 YEARS AGO. (Yeah.  Turded.) (I know.  I’m a picture of class.) If anyone would have simply said, [...]

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A little ink and a little attitude goes a loooong way.

June 11, 2012

I know most women reeeeally enjoy getting their nails done.  And their feet.  I get that. I’m not one though.  It has become somewhat of a chore for me.  I go as long as I can between fills and chiseling the barnacles off my hoofs.  I just don’t love it. Never have. And don’t be [...]

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Communicating with me really ain’t that bad. If you do it my way.

June 7, 2012

OK.  So, the dude who pays me for dragging up to the office every day and tormenting him, suggested I take a class on “communicating.” Him:  “Hey, we’re doing a class on communicating…you ought to take it.” Me:  “Why?  I communicate fine.  It’s everyone else in this building who needs it.” Him:  “Hey, we’re doing [...]

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What does Britney and The Fairy Hobmother have in common, you ask? Uh, me. That’s what.

June 1, 2012

Apparently doing The X Factor taping last week wore me out. I’ve been pretty lazy and worthless lately. I mean, it’s taken me a whole friggin’ week to post this: I know it’s not much…but a little of Britney goes a long way. A really long way. (Yes.  The same has been said about moi.) ‘Diva’ [...]

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My leap to stardom could happen this week. Probably won’t, but it could so shut up.

May 22, 2012

I know. Total asshat. If I’m honest, I do think I just came out of hibernation. I am a creature of habit.  I don’t love that about me, but sometimes the truth hurts.  Or sucks.  The big one. I’ve been thrown off kilter for the last couple of weeks and am finally getting my groove [...]

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Two questions I never thought I’d have to ask a man.

May 12, 2012

Sweet girl at the office:  Do you mind going…” And before she could finish her sentence: Me:  “YES, I’LL GO.” I immediately cut her off and I didn’t wait to hear where.  I just know she wasn’t saying, “Do you mind going back to your desk for 2 days?” (Though she has clearly thought that, [...]

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I apparently now like the word ‘bountiful’ and well…I’ve always liked moonpies.

May 3, 2012

I’m at the office and the phone rings and I’m told I have once again, jacked something up. Surprise. ME:    (In a very southern, peppy drawl) “I just can’t imagine how I screwed that up.  I must’ve been focusing on my bountiful bustline I now have thanks to my new pretty bra I bought last [...]

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Steer clear of sky-high bookcases and ass-breathers. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

April 26, 2012
My Book

“I like how she’s open and real and isn’t afraid to talk about things that affect her.  Like her having depression and anxiety and stuff like that.” That’s what Katie said about The Bloggess when we were headed downtown Austin last night to see The Bloggess at her book signing. “Yeah.  I can appreciate that.  I’ve [...]

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You’d think I had solved a world issue or two by the way I talk about being so busy.

April 21, 2012

Yeah.  I’m a slacker. Sometimes I hate typing more than I hate seeing my mugshot on film. So, there.  You’re stuck with it. Here’s Kristy: Living Life (Un)Simply And here’s Katie: Katherine The Great And I’m a total douche because I said her blog address wrong on the vlog. Complete and total douche. That’s me. [...]

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Don’t assume I get high because I have a heavy twang.

April 13, 2012

It is really no secret I have an accent. Ok.  A twang. And it’s heavy. I know this. Usually the first words I hear after meeting someone for the first time is, “Oh, my goodness you have that Texas twang.” No shit. I’ve lived here in Texas all my life.  Except for about 6 weeks [...]

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