This Daniel is probably part of the reason my hair is frazzled and I’m living in a fog and I don’t even know who this Daniel is.

June 25, 2015

Here’s just a few snippets of stupid crap that’s happened around the house over the last few days. (And if you think that hormonal teenager was involved in this stupid crap, you’d be right.) (What gave it away? The ‘stupid crap’ part?) Anyway. ME: “You want me to bake you a potato?” HER: “Yes, and […]

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In our house, the price of a .99 burrito just went up. Way up. Like may-take-months-to-pay-for-it way up.

February 19, 2015
Teenager Jello

It’s no secret.  I’ve never blown a baby through my lady parts. Wanted to when I was in my 20’s…but it just never happened. But I wanted a baby regardless. As I aged, that desire took a back seat to life.  I was older.  I didn’t have the energy.  Then I found myself single and […]

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I’m now a winner and will frisk you if I need to. But don’t be jelly.

January 21, 2015

I know, I know. I haven’t blogged in ages.  But its paid off and in a bit, you’ll see what NOT blogging got me. Most people will say “winning ain’t easy” but not me.  This time, it was a breeze. But I do want to change that.  The blogging more part.  Not the not saying […]

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It’s I-Don’t-Have-To-Be-Me-Weekend and you can bet that’s just who I’m NOT gonna be.

November 12, 2014

I’m a bit nervous.  Or scared.  Or puzzled.  Or something creepy feeling and unsure and skeptical. My main squeeze and I are going to the Renaissance Festival this weekend. With friends. Dressing up in full costume, as always. FULL.  COSTUME. (Because even though I’m not athletic, I’m gargantuanly competitive.) (Go big-ass big, or go home.) […]

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I might be married to the law but it’s a known truth “I” am the law and if I had no hair you could call me Kojak.

September 17, 2014

Now, we all know I’m the law-breaker in my house and my husband is the law enforcer. He’s a deputy.  I’m not. Doesn’t matter.  I still feel, as a wife, it’s my duty to advise him the best way to do his job that he’s been doing about 25 years that I’ve never done a […]

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There should still be phones ripped out of the walls because then I wouldn’t be filled with guilt right now.

September 8, 2014

My mother was the only CEO of Guilt Trips Dot Com…until she sold her shares to my husband. He bought me perfume. For no reason. No birthday.  No holiday.  No anniversary. Never mind the fact I’ve been leaving my 98% empty bottle by my sink on the bathroom counter each morning. Then it slowly moved over […]

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I’m tired. It’s as simple as that. I’m just tired.

August 28, 2014

It’s rare I ever chose to be serious. At least here, on this blog thing. This blog thing started a few years ago as something like maybe a hobby.  I’ve never liked to write and my high school English teacher, Mr. Atmar, would literally croak if he thought for one minute I put words on paper […]

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If there is anything you need to know about keeping your job and I’m not around you can always hit up the internet and see if she can help.

August 20, 2014

Thank goodness for the internet. Especially web sites on the internet. Those web sites on the internet with information.  Informative stuff.  The can’t-go-another-minute-without-knowing-this-crap-or-you-will-forever-not-know-this-crap kind of stuff. Like: A.  What color some Kardashian paints her toenails B.  How to know if you’re in a good relationship or if you should get a dog C.  What percentage of […]

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A bald head and really bad bangs still just go together. Even if they’re miles apart.

August 8, 2014

We met in the second grade in Miss Johnson’s class. We had to sit by each other in those double desks that grade schools had back then.  We immediately hit it off. We gave each other full permission to dig in each other’s cigar boxes. (That was what we had back then…not the fancy stuff […]

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The last thing you need from me is preaching…so just be kind and I’ll spare us all the ridiculousness of it. Plus, I probably can’t see over the pulpit anyway.

August 6, 2014
Email Blog

Yeah, yeah. We went RV’ing last weekend.  You already know this.  And are sick of hearing about it, but don’t click off of here just yet. Our drive to the campground and our way back home had a little something in common. Something most people probably don’t think about or even do on the road. (I […]

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